35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. JustinThyme

    JustinThyme Fapstronaut

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    To be fair, when you’re in the desert every horizon has an oasis. I can visualise the “influencer” now. Stay strong brother.
     
  2. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Have been reading Anna Lembke's book 'Dopamine Nation'. Good read. Definitely makes me think about my PMO habits, but also my gaming habit from the past and my current smartphone/internet habit. I think a lot of guys here would find it relevant.
     
  3. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Hey all. I’m struggling to make the good changes permanent. Such a dumb addiction. Checking in.

    Anyway; life is good and I’m trying and will have another good day. I’m always struck by how happy I am the day after wanting to fall and not.
     
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  4. Low Tide High Tide

    Low Tide High Tide Fapstronaut

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    That's really good self awareness. That will stand to you, keep it up!
     
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  5. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Doing well. Trying to treat each day as a new one where I need to focus on developing positive habits.

    There are always moments where I think, 'I've got this today, the risk of relapse is low', or 'It's weekend so my chance of relapse is small', or 'I'm at 14 days which is when I usually relapse but this time I'm aware of it so surely I won't relapse'.

    And in those moments I tend to let some of my habits slip a little, I let my guard down, and when I feel the urges coming I rationalize that it's ok to stay in front of the computer and that I do not need to disengage and that I do not need to leave the house. With the well known consequences of course.

    Trying to not let that happen this time. Every day, no matter how unlikely a relapse seems, I need to go 'all in' on life.
     
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  6. daryl_zero

    daryl_zero Fapstronaut

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    Reset today at day 14 (my counter says 15, but I think I set the day incorrectly.) I'm very low on sleep because of work and family life, and I screwed up. I recognize that my lack of sleep is an explanation for what happened, but it's not an excuse. I can and I will do better.

    I've been doing a good job of distracting myself with hobbies or work whenever I have an urge, and I'm going to keep that pattern going in spite of my mistake today. My new goal is to make it through the end of this year with no more resets.

    Good luck to all of you, and stay strong!
     
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  7. JustinThyme

    JustinThyme Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,
    Checking in. It’s been about 529 days. I know that some of you struggle to get through the days, and very few reach a point of no urges. I’ll never be able to disclose my identity, but do reach out via PM if you want to ask anything, or post it in this public forum. My anonymity means that I’m prepared to be pretty candid.
     
  8. ctr

    ctr Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Previous fantasies have surprisingly been under control for a while now. Very fortunate for that, but I know from experience that the temptations and strong urges can appear without warning. But it's good to have some peace at the moment.

    Personal insight: I've been trying to reframe everything in a more positive way lately. This is probably more applicable to life in general, but can carry over to NF as well. I've started doing this with all things: e.g. "Oh no, it's winter" turns into "it's only a few months til spring, and then summer". Another recent one: "why do I get tongue-tied around women?" turns into "I can talk to her - it's all mental". "I'll never date her" turns into "If I keep working on myself and never give up, I will". There's a lot of negativity and even despair in the world today, but we can't let it get to us. We only get one pass in this life. The amount of time we spend believing we can't is more than enough time to learn how you can.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend, gentlemen.
     
  9. JustinThyme

    JustinThyme Fapstronaut

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    Well said mate. You’re probably reaching rare urge land now. A few bumps along the way of “man, maybe a wank isn’t that bad” (for me was around day 470, though I decided to stay PMO free). But all in all, you’re essentially “there” as far as I am considered to be. Well done brother.

    Edit - woah! - it was actually day 394.
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/can-i-still-be-bothered.313992/#post-3078486
     
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  10. ctr

    ctr Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much, man! Yep, winter is always tough for me and I slipped up badly at exactly this time last year. Luckily, the new mindset and renewed motivation is helping a lot, so I'll keep fighting. Cheers!
     
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  11. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Made a mistake and relapsed but at least it was short and i didn't lose hours.

    My daughter is sick and had 2 miserable nights of sleep. Then both kids had to stay home on Monday because of covid rules, so for those of you who have worked from home with toddlers around, you know how well that goes.

    So lack of sleep? Check. Stressed? Check.

    Once the day was over i rationalized that I 'deserved' to zone out with my phone in bed. Now, i have some rules. 1 is no phone in bed, another is dont go on reddit. And i broke both of those because i felt like i 'deserved' a break. Went on reddit, then figured i'd go on instagram because what could possibly go wrong right? And yeah the rest is history.

    So, gotta stick to my own rules, and i'm going to keep a book on my nightstand for those bored/stressed/tired but dont want to go to sleep yet moments.

    I've noticed that i rarely rationalize that im going to relapse. Like i never set out to go PMO. I always rationalize doing these little precursor behaviors first. Like let's spend some time on reddit, that's not a relapse right? Let's go on instagram, not a relapse right? Oops, triggering image, but it's just 1 and it was an accident so not a relapse right? Let me look up 1 more because 2 of those isn't a relapse either and then i'll get the urge for more out of my system. Etc... This is my mind's way to get around my defenses. Since discovering nofap I've never started a relapse by straight up looking at porn. My brain knows i wouldn't fall for that. Porn is bad! But these little seemingly innocent steps.....works every time. So, here's to sticking to my own rules!
     
  12. BenSarek

    BenSarek Fapstronaut

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    I have read the rules and would like to join this group
     
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  13. salaciousDone

    salaciousDone Fapstronaut

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    Two weeks in and still going strong. Had a few urges last week but managed to control them and have finally uninstalled Reddit from my phone, so that's one less avenue for an accidental trigger. Have also realised that negative events weren't my only triggers, sometimes I am having a good day and the thought enters my head that I should "celebrate" it. So PMO wasn't just a coping mechanism, but a reward system too.
     
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  14. daryl_zero

    daryl_zero Fapstronaut

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    Reset this morning.

    Really identifying with what Ik2 said about tricking yourself by slow, incremental steps. That's what I did today. I'm learning from this experience and moving on.
     
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  15. marksaysay

    marksaysay Fapstronaut

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  16. littlegreenman

    littlegreenman Fapstronaut

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    I have read the rules and would like to join this group. I need help making it past three days.
     
  17. Checking in...doing better and on a better streak
     
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  18. littlegreenman

    littlegreenman Fapstronaut

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