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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.
I don't know if the invitation is still open but I would like to join.
Hi guys, as you may see, I reset my counter. I did my 90, 95 I think it was... and I felt... it was just a lot of preasure, it felt very unhealthy, and scary... as you know I don´t drink, or smoke, and I live by myself in a very secluded place, I was in a very dark place, and again, got scared, needed to relieve the pressure, because it was that, pressure...
Now... About the 90, its worth it. I didn´t feel any of what other people say it happens, like you are more attractive to girls or that you feel your body different, maybe a need more time. You do feel better knowing that you can control yourself and that gives you confidence. So its a way to get more confidence and to gain more self control, and since its set up like a challenge, so you do feel good about making it.
Am I going to continue? Yes.
Do I want to stop faping forever? I don´t know.
Do I want to quit porn forever? Yes.
Welcome @kloof513 I will add you to the ranking tonight when I update it.
Thanks for sharing that. You had a great run, nothing to be ashamed of.
I planned some activities for this afternoon including a visit to a friend just out of the hospital.
I also repeated a mantra the couple times I was triggered: "I'm not the kind of person who spends his day watching porn."
The fact is a friend of mine passed away two days ago after a long battle with cancer and I"m feeling very present and mindful.
Checking in at 60 days. Feeling fine.
OK, I will add you.
I'm back to 0 again guys. I'm not sure what happened, it seemed to hit me from out of nowhere. Obviously I gave in too easily. Stress from a recent surgery probably played a role. Whatever the case, I'm getting right back to it so I can reach my goal of 60 days.
Welcome to @kloof513 , @newdad984 , @Lovelife247 , @Eprst and @Empty Red Cloud - you have all been added as new members. Please review the rules at the beginning of this thread so you can stay listed in our ranking.
Congrats on your 60 days. You have climbed to the third spot in the ranking. Great work!
Thanks for the add!
check in. Everything is fine.
Thank you; I've been close to relapsing several times. Not sure if there is correlation, but I've noticed that my eating habits went to shit; I thought about it for a while and figured that as one habit was squeezed out, another had to take its place. I was pretty hard on myself for gorging on junk food, but I think there might be an explanation, it all might be part of the process. Any thoughts?
Everyone stumbles; appreciate your honesty.
Moderation is a good rule of thumb for most things (except porn, of course). A little bit of junk food is OK, but if you go on a non-stop binge there are probably underlying emotional issues driving the need to medicate yourself in that way. Learning to deal with negative emotions has really helped me a lot over the years. These are the things that drive your various addictions and the need to escape. You have to learn to replace negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones. For example, you may have a subconscious belief that you can't succeed. You may have had a belief like this (as I did) since early childhood. You have to learn to recognize when these beliefs are driving your self destructive behaviors, recognize them as false beliefs, and replace them with positive beliefs. For example, as an affirmation you could say "I am a talented and capable person" when you feel that old false belief asserting itself. (For more information on this subject read Self Matters by Dr. Phil McGraw.) That was a little long-winded, hope it was helpful.
Yes, thank you. Agreed on there being self-sabotaging behaviors and it being driven by my negative self beliefs and doubt, although it doesn't necessarily seem that way on the surface.
Also finding that I am not good with moderation, lots of black and white, all or nothing thinking. Once the floodgates open--watch out!
@discovery and @Freeman82 congrats on reaching 100 days! You are great role models for the rest of us.
Just checking in with 62 days. Going to be a hard day, so I want to say in advance that I'm going to get through it.
Yes my friend. Go for it. Make your 90. You can do it.