Feels like starting over square 1 but progressing faster since I’ve done it before. It’s scary how fast I accepted self lies about the addiction… it’s my wife’s fault, not a big deal and I can keep it occasional, P won’t warp my brain that bad while it’s making me a brain foggy idiot. “I I have an ‘opportunity’ for PM I need to take it”. I’ve got low impulse control and motivation to change. It’s scary cause I was in a decent place with PM a couple of months ago, I was just really sick of trying after failing a million times. PMing once a month but trying sincerely to quit had me as a much better person. I can’t accept it, and without full effort to quit I fall apart quickly. such is life lol. @artifact I’ll just be a fake member until there is an opening and a lull of applicants. Knowing myself the streaks won’t be they impressive anyway lol
I'm not sure how your mind works and what motivates or makes you feel better so this is a little risky but I'll throw out my thoughts. One would be to lower your expectations. Compare yourself to every other schmuck out there. They are PMOing at least once a day, and do you think they feel bad about it? No. So even going a 36 hours is an accomplishment. Give yourself some room not to be perfect and set your goal low. That'll reduce the guilt and maybe you'll achieve more. Maybe not. But at least you should know you're above the average schmuck. Here's more of a devil's advocate one. If this is harsh and doesn't help you, I am truly sorry and mean no harm. I am just throwing out a few options. When Tom Brady was at U of Michigan, he was way down on the depth chart his freshmen year. He told Lloyd Carr he was thinking of leaving, and Lloyd asked him to at least talk to the team's psychologist, Greg Harden. He met with Greg and told him he was thinking of quitting, and Greg just laughed for a while, then once he settled down he said "do you think anyone gives a f**k if you leave?!" And it was true, because he was like the 4th or 5th best quarterback on the team at that point. Brady stopped feeling bad for himself, put in the work, won seven super bowls and married a super rich model. I'm not saying that will happen to you I am also not being judgmental in the least since I frequently feel bad for myself. It is certainly a problem for me. But I know that when I get pulled out of that funk (usually by my wife or a therapist), I feel better because now I have control. You don't have to feel bad or good, or whatever, just think about what you need to do to improve and remove the shame, guilt and all the other baggage. PMO, don't PMO, but do the best you can without feeling badly. Unlike Greg Harden, we are all rooting for you.
I'm with you. There is always a good reason right before, and then right after, it's like "what was that logic I used, that was terrible!" Weird the way the mind works. Blaming it on the wife is usually my favorite go to
decided to take a walk after a rain fall in the night, everything was quiet, I just stopped music and admired the calmness of winter, I realized I get these deep thoughts whenever I'm all by myself with no media, music or any kind of interruptions.
Day 0 again. Keep using it as a way to destress because I am being too lazy to do something productive instead.
So , today was stressful, I had some serious urges, but thankfully I'm still on track, I also noticed some benefits, Like Deeper voice, more energy and less sleep time I need. I noticed that my brain becomes so sensitive towards P when I slightly think about it.
you can do it , try put some restriction on your network , here's a simple trick add Open DNS to your home router.
i hope you're still on track bro, try doing deep breath exercise, go for a walk , or organize your room, just keep your mind off that sh*t
Checking in. Same old story for me: had some work to do that kept me awake most of the night. This morning, I had one stressful thing happen, and...reset. This will be my only reset for the month of March. I have all the tools I need for long-term sobriety and I'm ready to apply them. I genuinely feel like I'm close to a breakthrough. Wish me luck.
Checking in and yet another reset! Hope everyone is good, sorry I’ve been busy but hope to put in more regular appearances from now on. Great to see so many posts here …lots of enthusiastic members at the moment!
today was very fast and exhausting , didn't have good sleep, i was having anxiety, I had urges of course , but they weren't as strong, i think imma sleep early tomorrow I'm planning to Fast.
