35 and Older Accountability Group

If y'all need an accountability partner I'm up... I'm on discord

 

Day 5 checking in.
Starting to feel human again.

 

i've been there brother , it sucks , maybe you can try writing down 10 reasons why you stopped PMO, for me I have over 80 reasons list I check between now and then

 

wow i thought I'm the only one who has this mentality

 

If you can have self control then yes.

 

Thanks man, I'll give it a try!

 

tomorrow will be my first day at work, I honestly feel anxious and stressed, I don't know why. I also feel low confidence and self-esteem ,maybe because of my social anxiety after spending 1 year and half at home, anyone can relate to that ?

 

Thanks! I really appreciate the work that you put into this group. It's been the key difference for me this year.

Have you read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"? He goes into a ramble on "gumption traps." For instance, you need to take a housing off your motorcycle, just take out four screws, pop on the new one and it's a quick job. Then the first screw strips out and now you're looking at hours. That's a gumption trap. It demotivates you and could stop you from finishing. Then he goes into strategies around it. Always plan on more time than it takes, etc. It made me think of the ways we try to learn how our own brain works and develop personal strategies to defeat it. I've thought about that before but not in that level of detail of what is the problem, and how do I specifically work around this particular issue for the way my mind works.

Steveal wrote about making a list of reasons not to fap and reading it when ready to go. Great tip for avoiding the trap. I need to do that myself this week.

 

I can't relate to it but I can tell you that that you will be fine and you can handle it.

 

Reset today

 

Day 7 checking in.

 

I'm sad to say that I had a relapse over the course of a couple of days. Today I've cleaned out some locally-stored porn and I'm setting up some additional barriers to give me a pause before relapsing again. I can't say that I'm very excited about starting over but I do still believe that I'm better off learning to live in reality and that my personal relationships would benefit from sobriety. So, restarting today.

Thanks for being here.

 

Day 199. One of the biggest changes as a result of full on semen retention is I waste so much less time with unproductive activities. I read in Jim Kwik's book, Limitless, "There are no neutral actions. Everything we do either pushes us towards or away from our goals."

That statement alone really put things in a perspective I'd never seen before!

 

Made it to 34 days but I relapsed yesterday....oh well time to get back on the horse and try again! Proud of my 34 days

 

Reset, I lasted 5 days this time.

Blah I've been at this for a few years now. Will I make it? Sad times.

 

I can relate to stressing on the first day of a new job. I think I try to make a good first impression when everyone knows you are not going to be very good for a while. I haven't started a new job for a while, but the last time I did, I made an idiot of myself I think the key is to ask a lot of questions and fully admit you are learning. I'll see if I take my own advice if I ever start a new job again.

Hang in there! You have a leg up on everyone with the work you've done. And, everything can be re-learned including socialization. It's been a rough year for that and we're all a little awkward.

 

5 days is more than most people can do once. Keep chipping away.