35 and Older Accountability Group

39 years old Male. Currently going through rebooting. I have been addicted to porn for over 20 years. I recently found out porn was an issue while in a relationship. I am still currently in that relationship however my past porn addiction has been an issue for her and she is finding it very hard to accept it. I decided to reboot for myself due to after educating myself on porn and finding out that it has ruined me tremendously. Yesterday I did hit rock bottom with my emotions after 64 days of porn free. My GF helped me get out of the rut but I can not always depend on her. I am seeking of a coach and I am very serious about rebooting. So far it's been easy. I have not had any relapse or felt the need to, but I know it wont always be this easy. I do exercise a lot. Five days a week at the gym religiously. So I think that has helped me a lot. Thanks for your time of reading this.

 

Just relapsed today after getting to day 15. Back to day 0. Very frustrating.

 

Checking in, off on another business trip today for the week. Traditionally a testing time for me.
Was a very busy and stressful day yesterday which did have me occasionally thinking that now is when I’d normally get a bit of “time out” with porn. But I resisted all day.
This week is going to be more stressful at work, but I’m determined that porn won’t come into it.
Otherwise still going well.

 

thanks, checking in officially tonight.

just made it to 10 days and feeling great. Urge intensity is going down and I'm starting to feel dopamine leveling off in my head.

 

Checking in with 73 days

 

checking in, feel good to go an motivated this morning. No urges, just a feeling of 'lets get it done', (i rarely have mornings like these), I need to learn to manage the high dopamine mornings as well as my low dopamine ones. Atleast until my dopamine finishes leveling off. How long does that usually take into recovery?

 

Happy to find this site - 6 days and starting to feel very different...

 

Thanks mate. The urge to watch p is pretty much gone. The thought only crosses my mind occasionally and it is not hard to shake. I still have the desire to m though and I edge a little but but never for long. Also the morning is not as big a temptation as it used to be because I want to get up for exercise. My body gets excited for that now! Night time is the time of temptation. Maybe I should start having cold showers before bed. I really believe the most effective way to fight physical urges is physical activity like exercise, cold shower, fresh air etc. My experience is that relying on power of will and new thinking works sometimes but not always, especially at the beginning.

 

We’re all human.

 

@artifact Sorry to hear that you’ve reset, and that your mind talked you into M again. I agree that without the P it’s not as bad. But as you say, you have set a goal of no PM. I wouldn’t worry about the fact that you think you’re not setting a role model. You are a role model, by the fact that you set up this group, and have been honest about the reset. That is still a role model on the journey to getting free from PM. Ok, not a role model at the front of the caravan, but definitely one along it’s length. You continue to be a very active leader of the group, and supporter of those within it. That is a role model.

I wrote yesterday an update on my Journal that I’ve copied the key part below, which may help. It was a little light bulb moment for me when I read the passage below.

So, I was reading OSHO, and “The book of Secrets” about meditation and the 112 techniques. Amazing read, not the easiest read, but very deep in places. When I came across these passages about the mind, which resonated very loudly with the NoFap experience:

“You can doubt any teacher, any master, but you never doubt your mind. With unflinching faith,you move with your mind as the guru. And your mind has brought you to the mess, to the misery that you are. If you are going to doubt anything, doubt first your own mind. And whenever your mind says something, think twice.”​

“It is very intelligent, and because you think it is your mind you never doubt it. It is not yours, it is just a social product. It is not yours! It has been given to you, it has been forced upon you. You have been taught and conditioned in a certain way.”​

If you apply these two passages to a Fapstronaut’s brain, and what we are going through, you can see where the mind tricks you, where we have conditioned the mind, or the mind has allowed us to condition it (if you accept a very circular argument!)
I found these profound.​

 

Just saw this group and the post. Dont know if there are openings at this time but would like to he on the waiting list. I have 36 days no PMO. Male, 49.

PEACE!!

 

Keep it up though man. I hit day 66 today. I exercise a lot and it's been helping me get my mind off of porn and wanting to relapse.

 

checking my dudes, looks like a beautiful nofap tuesday. Stay strong brothers (and sisters), starting to see past the fog this week

 

15 days is amazing! For me its been PMO twice for a few hours since last night alone and I feel like cr*p. Going for a run and lift weights now though. Wish I could limit myself to once or twice a week max.

 

Although, I have had 2 PMO's in past 14 hours or so, I should be honest with myself in that lots of things are going much better for me in past month - even with PMO. Lost 9 pounds, doing more work than usual, waking up earlier, cooking healthy meals every day, started lifting weights, my tennis game is on, had great conversations with my family lately. I think if had a NoFap streak, things could get better, but I don't want to forget that fapping is not the be all end all of who we are as people.

I see i did fap after a job interview phone screen didn't go as well as I would have liked and was stressed about it. And fapped last night after sending resumes all day and just wanted a break. still would love to break this cycle. not religious, but don't think we were meant to fap and it doesn't seem healthy for the soul. makes me feel weak and discouraged more often that it make me feel good.

 

I'm going to try and check in tomorrow and will try to build a 1 day streak. measly i realize, but that's where I am.