35 and Older Accountability Group

Good to hear, have a great time

 

Congratulations, you are an inspiration brother.

 

Struggling with some mid-level urges. Wednesday was my birthday and I always get a little depressed and out of sorts on birthdays. It didn't help that I missed two days of meditation. Didn't check in here either. Consistency, my old nemesis, soon we'll be friends.

6 days exercise
7 days meditation

 

Congrats brother! Keep walking! ;-)
Next stop "180 days". Proud of you...

 

@flyswat @Alex_Al Thank you amigos! Yes I need to be more careful as it is easy to relapse now. But I am good at this moment. Hopefully, will achieve next milestone which is far far away.

 

Day 4.
I skipped my meditation before bedtime and started re-watching Baywatch. It was risky but no urges.

 

Can you give your reason Why you chose to stop PMO ?


*My words became dull and boring to uplifting me, you'll do me a favor.

 

I'm currently on day 4. But recently I had a streak of 7. They may seem measly for some heavy-hitters here but together with some rules (good habits) I can see some benefits already.

I used to think, I can't stop PMO. P is so exciting. Also the fact that I don't get any S made things even worse. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle stress. I was afraid of withdrawal symptoms (I used to feel breathless at night, now I know it was a panic attack).

I read several books during my nofap time. Since December I've read 6 books for a nofap challenge and I'm currently reading 3 more (simultaneously, but I need to focus). I met some great people on this forum.

My focus at work has increased. My stress that was killing me and made me PMO and trying to change my current job disappeared or decreased significantly. I stopped worrying of being fired for any mistake I make. I've become less harsh for myself. During my nofap I learnt to play down and almost got rid of a lot of negative feelings - self-doubt, self-hatred, self-blame, shame. I'm working on getting rid of envy. I learnt to recognize intrusive thoughts and kill them on the spot. The same goes for negative self-talk and lustful thoughts. I'm still learning not to compare myself but I'm getting better and better at it.

I developed new habits: no PMO, no alcohol, no gaming (for almost a month), no sugar (it's hard but I cut it down to very little amount hidden in some products, but that's fine for me), go to sleep at 10.30PM, no eating after 7PM.

I have more time for good habits(nofap takes a lot of time too but these efforts are necessary), I'm calmer and more patient. I start conversations more often (because my self-esteem budged a little). I'm more assertive.

But every now and then, I become too cocky about my "successes" in nofap, and that is the straight highway to a relapse. I've learnt it the hard way hundreds of times before.

 

Because the guy who is PMO addict, is not me, not REAL me. I want to be myself.

 

Checking in...
Into day 33 of semen retention
It is now or never for me
Urge to act out is quite intense
I wish to harness my sexual energy
I must exercise abundant caution
Semen is important to improve my health and other areas of my life

 

Bro im having the same issues you faced earler, this addiction is making my life career life miserable, im afraid that i will quit my job because of that, you know it's not my dream job but it's supporting my plans.

 

Feeling the same , since i started this i started feeling wierd about PMO, as it doesn't belong in my life

 

Checking In. Day 93.

PMO also ruins breathing pattern. When you do fap a lot and lot your breathing is not full. Naturally you should breath from tummy. I am experiencing improvement in my breathing pattern. I feel like I am more inside my body, I used to feel that I am somewhere at the 'corner' of my body, like we feel when you are on top of mountain and on edge. But now since last couple days I really feel different it is like finding strong shelter inside body. My general consciousness is now around the tummy. Man, I don't know how to describe it. I am not psycho, I know what I am talking about. No doubt my breathing pattern has improved it is more complete and I am breathing from the tummy. I am also hoping that this will improve the depth of my voice. I am not overthinking, this is real.

 

Reset.

Went away at the weekend with my mates, had a great time. Was out a lot. Saw a lot of triggers. Also went to a place called the hot springs, which is a kind of relaxation joint where you sit in the hot water. Very relaxing, but also very triggering. Held on all weekend, but as soon as I got home, back in my house by myself, all the pressure from all the triggers just came out.

I've always said that I can survive anything... but this time I'm not too disappointed. It wasn't a relapse, it's not going to be one, and I'm not going anywhere near that level of triggering for a long while, so hopefully I can settle back into normality again. (It's an interesting note, though... maybe part of a reboot needs to be getting used to seeing more triggering things. It's easy to isolate yourself, as it makes a reboot easier, but it also makes a reset more likely when you actually go out and see so many trigger. Even in a restaurant, just seeing pretty girls was a trigger if they were dressed a certain way.)

Also, I went into that phase where you forget why you're rebooting. Very annoying phase, might have to develop some better ways to handle that feeling of apathy about why a reboot is so important, as I always hit that feeling in the 2nd/3rd week of a streak.

 

Reset again. Going to have to be extra vigilant the next few days.

 

Day 5

True. But there's a difference between running into some triggers instead of looking for them. It's not possible to avoid triggers. Some of them may be in our brains as thoughts.

Yesterday I had a strong urge not to PMO, but to play games (so many people get addicted and ruin their lives - I know a few examples). I wanted to get that dopamine again. I took me some effort to take my mind of gaming. Then I had an urge to eat the last piece of chocolate someone left in the room. I thought to myself: "Today I'm under attack. Will all these triggers lead to a relapse on PMO?" However, I kept my nofap goals in my mind - I want to repeat my 7-day streak, beat it , then score day 10 to have double digits, next beat my 13-day record, and when I pass that milestone I want to see 30 on my counter to notice the effects of my countermeasures against depression kick in. Then other milestone will come. I want to be confident, focused, fix myself, then fix my marriage, reach my career goals, learn Spanish, become a role model for my kids, earn more to be able to travel...

Stay strong, everyone!

 

One question to anyone:
So we develop good habits, and they work for some time. However, the brain gets bored with them. Or we run out of steam.

And then what? Should we change our routine? Skip some of the "good habits"? Try something new? What do you do when you run into a roadblock with the nofap habits?

 

I am not sure what 'nofap habits' are in your opinion. But there are some things like workout , hobbies (music etc) which doesn't bore the brain only few days in the beginning are difficult.

 

Reset.

I agree, the triggers you look for are way more impactful than the triggers you accidently run into. The point I'm making is that even the triggers that you accidently run into can still affect you massively if you've been doing your reboot by hiding in your house for the last 6 months. You think you're doing well, and then you go outside, and normal women walking around set you off immediately. Which means, if part of your goals involve going outside and interacting with other people (which I don't do a lot of outside work) then acclimating yourself to seeing women more in everyday life has to be part of your rebooting process, otherwise the reboot will never fully succeed. (Especially if you go back to isolating yourself from all triggers after a relapse)

 

Hey bro! You are binging now. Not good bro! Very high dopamine bath. Stop right now. Go out, walk , do whatever but stay away from internet bro.