Had an interesting experience yesterday. I reset a couple days ago, and been struggling to start my streak again, though I think I'm good now. But anyways, after I reset again yesterday morning, I found I could almost see myself as from a third person experience. I wasn't just trapped in my own experience, I could see myself as others could, and I definitely had a sense of disgust for my own behaviour. Of course I reset again later that day, but it's a feeling that I will remember from now on. If you're about to reset... just imagine what it would look like if someone else walked in on you. Then put yourself in their shoes, and try and visualise how what they see would change their sense of what sort of person you are. It's pretty heavy stuff, but very motivating.
Thank you, sir. The couple upstairs had a knock-down drag-out yelling fight this morning so I think I will have some peace and quiet for a while, fingers crossed.
Thanks for responding. I just need to find that strength you refer to to now entertain any sexual thoughts at all. Not easy but possible....do you find yourself having wet dreams at any point? Maybe that's inevitable with PMO and it's obviously OK as you can't help it
Thanks for your reply. Yes I will try to ride it out and not engage with P, M or edging. Edging doesn't really bring me any satisfaction it just allows my dirty mind to run free so I think it's about having the discipline to rein that mind in. This group here has always helped me a lot. Some people seem to just be able to decide one day to stop looking at P and that's it, they stop and never return...a bit like someone quitting cigarettes overnight. I wish that was me but it isn't and this group reminds me that I'm not alone and there are others, many others, like me who need this kind of support! If it wasn't for this group I don't know where I would be as regards PMO...oh wait, I do, using it mostly everyday and feeling very low indeed....
I totally agree with your note that a psychological aspect may end a streak. It could be a change to your life, and it creates unwanted emotions (nothing sexual) and my mind remembers a way to escape these unwanted emotions is to PMO. So for me, its sometimes a mindless quick escape from the current situation that breaks a streak. I reset my timer either way, as it know its something I need to work on when these moments occur.
Checking in. Not being the easiest of weeks. Most of it not around PMO but just life stuff. Each difficult day without using shows me this can be done long term, one day at a time. The pattern of using it for comfort was with me for so long that I was not sure if it could be broken or not. Going back to the stuff the other day about not entertaining sexual thoughts. In the same way the body will get ready for food just by thinking about food producing saliva, fantasizing about things of a sexual nature will do a similar thing and just make it much more difficult to resist. I am talking about entertaining the thoughts, not having the thoughts, I will have thoughts. The same way if I see something while out and about that might catch my eye, but I don't have to entertain it by looking back more and adding to it. I cant remember who but someone said they bounce their eyes, I like that and use it. I also have to bounce my thoughts.
Bad day coupled with boredom, recipe for reset. Feels like my life needs drastic change I'm not sure who I've become.
Checking in...still going, some strong urges to M and O today with my mind coming up with reasons why to do this but actually I want to continue to build this strong life force energy through semen retention as I really believe it's helping me heal and giving me a clear and focused mind...why waste that!?
Check in... Day 94 here! 2 wet dreams last week... intense sexual tension... Be strong anyone, good warrior manifests himself in battle!
Hi Born3, I have referred to bouncing the eyes several times, as this is one of my biggest sources of strength. I fully believe you are on the right track when its realized the battle starts on whether you entertain a thought or not. And I found to bounce the eyes after the first non avoidable glance is golden. If the second look does not occur, you multiply your chances of staying strong as your mind does not entertain the thought and you go on with your day. I like the phrase "what you feed is what you grow" and if you don't guard your thoughts, eyes and what comes in your ears, you will lose the battle much quicker. Keep going my friend
Wow 94 days is incredibly impressive! Have you been having regular wet dreams or only last week? I've been wondering about this as sometimes the build up of sexual energy is so intense and it has to go somewhere
