35 and Older Accountability Group

Urges have been gone again for the last few days, after my 'almost relapse'.

I'm feeling very restless now though. I can't seem to keep focused attention. My mind is all over the place. Luckily not in really bad places. But while I should be working, I'm checking mail, messages, news all the time, and I keep researching stuff that is interesting, but not relevant right now.
 
I'm feeling very restless now though. I can't seem to keep focused attention. My mind is all over the place.

It just occurred to me, of course I'm feeling this way. Watching porn, or doing any other high stimulating activity, is putting your brain in this mode. Seeking novelty all the time, something new and exciting every 10 seconds. You're basically training your brain to be stressed and not focused.
 
Reset for me.

I need to work out a way to keep my phone away from me while I’m at work. I work alone from home, and that is by far my most vulnerable time. I would have done so already but I need the damn thing so I can be contactable by my family and for 2fa login to websites.

I have tried various blocking apps etc but I find them not near as effective as just leaving the phone in another room
 
Reset for me.

I need to work out a way to keep my phone away from me while I’m at work. I work alone from home, and that is by far my most vulnerable time. I would have done so already but I need the damn thing so I can be contactable by my family and for 2fa login to websites.

I have tried various blocking apps etc but I find them not near as effective as just leaving the phone in another room
Sounds like a good strategy. I keep my devices in another room at night when I'm most vulnerable. Not having easy access when thoughts or urges show up helps me to be mindful in those moments.
 
Urges have been much more present this week than they have for a while now. This is my longest streak ever and the thought of it is making me a little shaky. Probably something to do with ingrained self-defeating thoughts. I need to be especially mindful and vigilant; being accountable for developing positive habits and keeping myself away from behaviors that lead to relapsing (mindless social media or streaming service browsing, lingering on or sneaking peaks at the wrong kinds of images, etc.).

This week (updated 7/27):
5 days meditation
2.5 hours exercise
 
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Sort of dreading this weekend. I need to stay focused and have some kind of plan for avoiding PM. I gave up coffee again and I'm feeling much calmer (I still drink tea though, but the caffeine content is much lower than coffee). I'm also planning to give up butter again because it's high in saturated fat and I think that's a risk at my advanced age.
 
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