Had a great work week. Did more than on average. Had a lot of client contact and a lot of work is coming my way. Got my routine back in order, got out of bed around 5:00. However on Friday, once again, I ate too much potato chips, which I'm intolerant to. I also drank too much alchohol AND went to bed much later than I used to. To make things worse the next day I felt so bad my stupid brain thought it was a good idea to order even more food I'm intolerant to. So the whole weekend was kind of wasted. I had no energy to undertake anything at all. I mostly lay on the couch. My routine is out of whack and I'm still recovering now. I really need to take my food intolerances more seriously because the differences in my energy levels are night and day. And I need to better learn not to succumb to peer pressure, because that was the problem this time. I am really glad however, that even under these conditions, I did not got an urge to fap. Also because I know what caused it, and I know I can get out of it.
Día 0 de nuevo . Como hago para que me dejé de gustar algo que se que me hace daño . Como hago para dejar de mendigar atención y amor ?
90 days, checking in! Proud of the achievement, now on to 180 days. When the streak started I'd fantasize about a "reward" after 90 days - a YT/PMO binge. I was dying about not being able to see the new content and not being uptodate. Now it seems absurd to me. The 90 days were very busy, I often reflected on my life, tried to SEE where I'm at. It sucked and still sucks (truth sucks, that's why we do PMO), had at least 3 moments of crying about my current life or my past (wasting so many years etc). BUT TRUTH is good, SUFFERING is good and normal, only then can you actually enjoy life. FEAR is good, I'm trying to embrace fear and listen to my instincts. It means unlocking my potential and gaining energy. Making mistakes, doing, living, being a person. Simple, but awesome things! I used to think I am neurotic, fearful, anxious etc - like these were supposed to be my character traits. That's not true - these were induced by PMO. I'm actually normal, brave, energetic and I like people.
I know it's not easy to stop what you like. You have to try to fill that empty time with something else. Find joy elsewhere. I know that it is easy to talk like that and that it is difficult for you to do it... The only thing I know is that you have to be patient and in due time God will touch you with a healing hand and set you free. Keep praying as you are doing and never give up fighting this good fight!
The fear on missing out on content is such a real struggle. Thank you for articulating that. Our brain will play all sorts of tricks to get that dopamine fix. checking in. Had a good weekend. Feeling grateful, but must remain watchful.
@Toma123 - Congratulations on your 90 days as of yesterday! You are now a member of the 90 Day Hall of Achievement! Way to go!
