35 and Older Accountability Group

Relapsed again, did an autopsy, found some physiological triggers that I need to learn to manage better and am going to dedicate myself to staying off electronics in general as much as possible, a sleep schedule, healthy eating and exercise, spiritual reading, and SAA meetings and just keep praying for grace
 
Sam78 said:
Relapsed again, did an autopsy, found some physiological triggers that I need to learn to manage better and am going to dedicate myself to staying off electronics in general as much as possible, a sleep schedule, healthy eating and exercise, spiritual reading, and SAA meetings and just keep praying for grace
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I had a relapse also...I am going to try monk mode out for a while, it sounds similar to what you are talking about..i'll come back on here to check in on how that is going...i can't cut my computer out but i will avoid socials for a while...maybe delete those from my phone for a little

Day 2, had a few urges..more at night, like now..avoiding the instagram for sure right now.

Day 3 went pretty well. more urges in the morning yesterday..hoping to not have any pmo urges today...but here bc the mind wants to scroll insta for p sub reasons.
 
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First post in ages...P is creeping back in, a little bit here and there. I don't want this so going to try and post more often in here and be more motivated and strict with myself...it can so easily slip back in
 
Wanttosucceed said:
PLEASE HOW CAN I RESET MY DAY COUNTER?? IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT FEATURE BUT SEEMS TO HAVE DISAPPEARED!! THANKS
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Looks like it is still broken.

I started using an App recently... I was using "Tally Counter" which is a basic counting app, but I recently switched over to an app called "I Am Sober", so far hasn't cost me anything or forced me to set up anything, and has a nice community bent like this website. :D (And a counter ofc)
 
Up to 8 days, feeling pretty good so far, no major urges. I think sticking to my diet is paying off big time, and the “I Am Sober” app helps as well… there’s an almost endless list of other people on the same day count posting messages, so it’s nice and inspiring. :)
 
Hey guys,

I'm back again, I relapsed, and binged for a while. Trying to do it once a week. Which of course failed.

I realised I've been trying to quit seriously for 15 years now. A lot of good streaks, 180 days was my best. But I also had periods where I simply gave up, but eventually got back again.

This is one of those moments again. A few years back I discovered how to have multiple orgasms as a guy, and I deluded myself I made it some sort of spiritual practice. But it actually only made it worse. I could go longer and experience intense highs. But just like any drugs, eventually those become the new normal.

I had a huge stash of edited videos, so I could let them play randomly and I would orgasm dozens of times, and would keep going until I got bored, got sore, or accidentally ejaculated.

I always kept the stash, even after quitting, because I feared if I would relapse, I would build it up again which would take me longer to quit again.

But I have just deleted it. Years of 'work' gone. But it is for the better. I don't want to live with P anymore. When I use it my life sucks. I know how life is on the other side. It is way better. If it gives you 10 points of pleasure, it gives you 20 points of pain.

I'm turning 40 soon, and I want it to be over. I should be wise now. The stupid thing is I thought the same thing when I turned 30. But I don't care. I just don't want this anymore.
 
First week is done, feeling good so far.

I've started a new morning ritual that really helps me stay on track. I wake up at 5:00 every day. I set one alarm by my bed, and a second one in another room at 5:10, so I have to physically get up to turn it off. After that, I mark the day and activate the Self-Control app on my computer, the only app I know of that truly has no way around it.

Then I exercise for 30 minutes. I used to work out a bit before, about 15 minutes, three times a week. Now, I run 4km 3x a week and do 30 minutes of bodyweight training 3x a week.

I’m currently reading Dopamine Nation, and one idea really stuck with me: in simple terms, pleasurable activities tend to make you feel worse afterward, while “painful” activities (like exercise or cold showers) tend to make you feel better. That insight gives me extra motivation to get my 30 minutes of exercise in. I used to do it because I vaguely believed it was “good for me” or would “make me stronger eventually,” but now I see it as a powerful tool in fighting addiction. That’s made a big difference in how I approach it.

After working out, I meditate by taking 50 conscious, deep breaths. Meditation is another form of voluntary discomfort, and it helps me train my focus and self-regulation.

The book also says it takes at least two weeks for the brain to start recovering. I can definitely feel that, over the past few days, my mood has been up and down. Some days I feel good, other times I deal with fatigue, headaches, and lack of focus. But I’ve been through this before, and from experience, I know it gets much better around weeks 3–4. I’m staying the course.
 
Week 3. I'm starting to forget counting the days. A good thing. I have had profound spiritual insight that, for the time being, completely eliminated any need to fap.

It's a bit quiet here though. Has everyone switched to talking to AI?
 
On day 5 right now, had a slight relapse after 29 days but am back on the grind, hope everyone else is progressing well, will post again soon
 
@krazzer I relapsed today too. we can climb out together

I am having a tough go of it right now, had a fairly invasive procedure today, have been under the weather, am fatigued from my job, am having issues with my dad who seems to be laying into me more lately and acting dismissively and center our relationship around him mostly, and continue to struggle with my finances and am feeling really discourage tonight but I'm going to go to bed early tonight, rest up, revise my plan and make a run in July with the intention of carrying it beyond maybe up to full reboot

Thanks everyone who read my post, helps to know I'm not alone
 
@Sam78, let’s climb out of this together indeed, you’re not alone.

My dad is the same way, everything always seems to revolve around him. But sometimes, we just can’t change people. What helps me is focusing on the good things he’s done and accepting his personality for what it is. You can’t change him, but you can change how you let it affect you.

And try to keep away from P. Life really is better without it.
 
krazzer said:
@Sam78, let’s climb out of this together indeed, you’re not alone.

My dad is the same way, everything always seems to revolve around him. But sometimes, we just can’t change people. What helps me is focusing on the good things he’s done and accepting his personality for what it is. You can’t change him, but you can change how you let it affect you.

And try to keep away from P. Life really is better without it.
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Always good to know that among allies in this fight, cause its a hell of an opponent

I hear you regarding my dad, I think acceptance is a definitely the right way forward and I have to admit, my father has done a lot of good things for me and made many sacrifices.

Definitely want to rid myself of P, its awful

I'm starting over today so I'm at roughly the same point, want to set a mutual goal to get through the rest of July Clean?

12ove said:
one month in the books..going to try and check in more..hope that you all are doing well.
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Way to go! One month is a good place to be.
 
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