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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.
Fighting some crazy urges tonight. Got to keep this streak going!
Checking in, 2 days down!
check in friday ,it gets easier !
but if you are not careful it can turn to disaster!
starting over again..... but still checking in
Checking in for today. I had some strong urges yesterday but thankfully I didn’t succumb to them. I had to keep telling myself that I’m worth more than a quick soul sucking pmo session. Reaffirming my own worth is going to be a big key in fixing this problem.
Checking in my friends...124 days...I had a very busy week. I am on assignment for work in St Croix, US Virgin Islands and the assignment is making me work long hours. I have not meditated all week long and I am feeling a little rattled...but I also brought my flute and I am playing every day. But effective this evening, I am meditating on an ongoing basis...these are the activities that I am choosing to replace PMO and they are my anchors. Before I slip back into old habits, I am choosing new ones.
In my experience, the longer you are harnessing the energy...and being PMO free, the more passionate the encounter when it happens...enjoy the moments without it because they will fertilize the moments with it.
Thanks, that is exactly what I hope for. I am so honored to have this wonderful man in my life and this is such a new way of thinking for me... to preserve my passion for him and only him.
Checkin in! Did what I needed to do to keep myself on track. 4 days down.
Checking in saturday!
Have a great pmo free weekend all !
Gave in and PMed last night. I'm disappointed with myself, but I think this time I might have learned something. The subconscious voice in my head was saying (as it usually does) "You can't keep repressing your urges forever, it's not healthy." Well, first of all, 15 days is not exactly forever. Anyway, the next time this situation occurs I think I will try a different mindset and instead of "repressing my urges forever," I will just think of it as postponing the relapse, say, for an hour or even 5 minutes at a time if that's what it takes. This will buy me the time needed for the urge to pass and then I'll be back on track again.
Relapsed after 10 days. Alcohol induced. 30 day streak would be awesome. Have had some good conversations with friends about nofap recently.
Checking in today. Doing alright.
With all of this talk about relapsing I wanted to share my thoughts. I’ve been trying to remind myself after a fall to look for the trigger that caused me to abandon the spirit of self-care/love. Likewise I try, as hard as it may be, to remind myself that the other lesson contained within a relapse is to show you are worthy of self-care/love even at your lowest; the self-care/love part meaning getting back up and starting again.
My friend told me a story he heard where a professor in a classroom asked his students to take a dollar out of their pocket. He then asked if the dollar had any value? They said, yes, it does. He then told the students to throw the dollar on the ground and stomp on it and get it dirty; the students confusedly did as they were asked. The professor then asked the students if the dollar still had value; the students replied yes. The professor then said, view yourselves like that dollar.
Our worth isn’t found in how perfect we look; rather, our worth is inherent as human beings and the only person who can diminish our value is ourselves when we believe otherwise. I know all analogies have some flaws to them, however, I like this one because it demonstrates that understanding our value is important at all times but also displays the truth that it isn’t normal or natural to take something that has worth and get it dirty in the first place.
When tempted, and when I can remember to so, I try to say “I have worth and I have value”, followed by, “does pmo affirm and demonstrate this truth?”.
Boredom is exceptionally dangerous. I think I need to plan for even the smallest breaks where my mind can drift. Was feeling so good about things, and in the span of about 1/2 hour of boredom before going to bed I relapsed. I know failure is part of finding out your personal route to success. But this relapse seems so stupid. I learned more about my triggers and myself. But still, this relapse hits hard.
15 days check in. Not walking in willpower but the power of the Holy Spirit. John 8:36
Check in sunday !
Checking day zero again.
I',ve been so stressed this last week. But there are no excuses. No surrender though, I do want to change and fight this for God's grace and Love I will. Please stay praying I need your back up.
TobyMac puts it this way :
Last night put the heavy on me
Woke up and I'm feeling lonely
This world gotta a way of showing me (showing me)
Some days it'll lift you up
Some days it'll call your bluff
Man, most of my days I ain't got enough
And all I know
Is You're my only hope
When I'm up when I'm down (uh, huh)
When the wolves come around (tell me)
When my feet hit the ground
I just need, I just need You
On my darkest days (uh, huh)
When I'm losing faith (tell me)
No, it ain't gon' change
I just need, I just need You
Lord, I need You
Yeah, I just need You
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil for thou art with me
Thy rod and thy staff …
They comfort me when I’m beat down broken
Hold my heart when it’s split wide-open
Turn these eyes to my sole protector
And break the will of this born defector
When You pull me closer I come to life
Ain’t no way this thing gon’ change,
it’s U I need on my darkest days,
when I’m losing faith I need U every single day,
every breath I take I need U
Checking in. 128 days.
busy weekend, sorry didn't check in yesterday, but checking in now... doing good so far.
Checking in here. Day 2 sober. First time checking in on the forum and something that I want to maintain, daily, at least for the next 120 days.