35, Married, Struggled with PIED for 4 years, Low Libido, Watched Porn since 10

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by davidgggg, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. davidgggg

    davidgggg New Fapstronaut

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    I met my wife 5 years ago. Right from the beginning, we had incredible chemistry and for the first 9 months sex was great. I was madly in love with her and knew she was the one for me. Then I had my first bout ever with ED after 9 months. It was devastating and embarrassing and I blamed it on stress at work. I started to run, do anything to alleviate my stress so that I could overcome my issue. Over the course of the next 4 years, I continued to battle ED. Some months it was better than others, but as the years went on it seemed to get worse and worse and my desire to find a fix kept on coming up empty. I had a low sex drive, lack of sensation/emotion, no hobbies and would prefer to masturbate to porn vs having sex with my wife sometimes. My wife and I also rarely talked about it. I was always just trying to meet with another dr or change various habits to try and resolve the problem. I was traveling a lot for work so I blamed it on the distance sometimes. I loved her very much, cared for her, cant dream of living my life without her, am extremely attracted to her, but despite all this I kept on experiencing ED. I had seen countless urologists who prescribed me to replacement testosterone, viagra, and cialis. These drugs seemed to work sometimes, but didnt resolve my ED and libido issues. No one every mentioned porn to me as a potential problem???

    About a month ago, my wife and I hit rock bottom. We came home from date night and we attempted to get intimate and I couldnt get it up. She looked at me and started crying. She finally opened up and expressed how she felt over the past 4 years. She told me that she had a void in the relationship and she didnt know if we were right for each other. She was like everything is great between us, but sexually something is off. I had the same feelings. What is crazy is my wife and I have an incredible relationship(outside the bedroom). Our friends consistently tell us how they envy our relationship. We literally talk about anything, but we never talked about this 1 glaring issue. The rest of that weekend was insanely difficult and my wife and i were on the verge of ending it. We both got insanely sick though at the thought of not being together. I spent the rest of that sunday doing research online and came across YBOP and NoFab. As I read through all the stories and watched the videos I couldnt believe what I was reading. I was relating to all of it. Why did no one tell me about this before

    When I was 10 years old, I started looking at porn on BBS and continued watching porn quite frequently for the past 25 years(7 to 10 times per week). As time went on I continuously searched for more intense/extreme porn to satisfy myself/get the same high. Over the past few months I began to to have issues even getting hard/off from more extreme porn. It was a never ending search, rapidly clicking from video to video, to find a scene that could get me off/hard. After reading through YBOP I began to realize that porn is my problem. It desensitized me. The following article hit home with me after reading all these stories. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/guys-who-gave-porn-sex-and-romance. I began to share these articles with my wife and she began to understand how I had been feeling the past 4 years.

    I decided on July 1 2015 to begin my reboot. I started with no porn, no masturbation no orgasm. For the first two weeks I began to get my sex drive back. I began to feel emotions when my wife kissed me, touched me. I actually got hard from just kissing her(that hadnt happened in years). I felt inside like I was an animal, 17yrs old again. I was getting morning wood, having wet dreams with her in it(didnt ejaculate though) and getting random boners throughout the day. The first weekend I didnt ejaculate or orgasm. About 3 times a day my wife and I were going at it. She probably came 10 times that weekend and I was rock hard during all of it. On the second weekend, I decided to ejaculate and orgasm multiple times. She first got me off with a slow sensual BJ and then i got off a few times with slow sensual sex. The last time we had sex though it got a little rougher, more porn like and it felt wrong afterwards. Over the next few days, I began to have ED again. I failed two times to get it up when we started foreplay. This was heartbreaking, devastating and it really took the wind out of our progress. Although the past two weeks were the best two weeks in 4 years with us, I regret now orgasming because I feel like it has set me back. This morning my wife and I agreed that i will do no porn/no masturbation/no orgasm for at least 90 days. I am going to pleasure her, but I am going to hold off. I am hoping that with no orgasm I will keep the testosterone in me which will give me that animal drive again. I want to consistently feel what I felt the first weeks for the rest of my life. Over the course of the next few months, I will continue to update. Look forward to hear everyone's thoughts and feedback. Thanks for the support and hope my post helps others out.
     
  2. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    I have experienced this many times when i first tried having sex at 20 and 21. It wouldn't get up. I finally had sex last year when I was 26 but lasted 20secs. In Xmas i decided to get cialis and viagra and had sex until May with them.

    There was no pleasure at all there was no sensation - just as you described.

    In fact the pills use to give me stomach cramps and puke. I got indigestion now. Every time I M i get stomach pain.

    I did go three weeks and felt a little better.

    Having a full time partner like you have should make things easier. I never had that. It should help.

    But be careful you might have sex in reboot but you might get so into it that you will orgasm.
     
  3. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    It would be strange if you did not have ED resulting from so intense porn and masturbation usage. After eating chocolate a sandwich has no or only minimal taste but try not to eat for a day or to eat only once a day...... then you'll discover that a plain bread even without butter or anything else tastes extraordinary.
    the world, doctors, politicians ... think that porn and masturbation is a social good...... Now you know the truth it's a lie, a big one and devastating all.
    You'll forget about ED if you stop doing something so illogical as sex with oneself with addition of ten thousands naked virtual women.
     
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  4. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    And it brings in revenue people will do anything in this world for money;

    They pay for a licence
    Pay rent for studio
    shoot porn they sell the video

    Porn stars get stds they go Drs they pay the Dr and medication.

    We fappers buy porn get ED go Drs get charged and pay further for medicine.

    We exceed data limit we're charged.

    With all these costs the government gets more tax by charging us.

    These were only some of the things on where money is spent / claimed from...

    you have ED relationship ends you go court divorce costs etc... ED resulted from porn - back to square one - game over !
     
  5. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    right, numpty

    There is a new god now, worshipped by most of the population. His name is Mammon.
    Jesus is now a lesser known God.
     
  6. msa2388

    msa2388 Fapstronaut

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    I'm happy you discovered this place and I'm happy it's working for you :). It takes some people a very long time to get back on the right track and even longer to gain their sexual health back.

    Please watch the language when posting though. A lot of people here are very easily triggered, even by just writing.
     

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