35 y/o - VIRGIN - Depressed - PIED!

As you have said yourself, D&O, since you have not looked at P in 18 months, PIED is most likely not the issue here. It may have started with that, but P is not perpetuating your ED now, so your depression is more likely the cause.
It also sounds like your libido is not that low since you are still looking for sex, so low T is not likely your issue.
A counselor is necessary, a psychiatrist may/may not be necessary, though medication likely is necessary.
How can you work on making connections with people? Why would you automatically discount the women who have said they want to be your friends? You NEED friends, and you have said you have none, so why wouldn't you contact them to hang out as friends? They may have perspectives on your issues after getting to know you as well. And who knows, a love may grow out of that friendship, and attraction may grow out of that friendship...
I also feel that though you have said you are now atheist, you (as we all are) are trying to fill a void within you with selfish "stuff", that you think will make you happy. Only love can fill that void, and without connection and intimacy, that can't happen. In my opinion, God is love, and so without Him, that can't happen. I think you should at least be open to the fact that He is there waiting for you to have a relationship with Him. I think He has put these women you are quickly dismissing in your path to help in some way...
I hope and pray that you will soon see the path you should be on, that things will start falling into place for you. I am praying for your success. Love you, brother!

 

oh, and feel free to message me if you'd like

 

Hey, i've been reading your posts and i understand on some level how you feel. Although i'm not a virgin myself, i have only had one partner and that was many years ago, since then i have struggled to gain any intimacy with women, partly down to my low self esteem and anxiety and also my past porn and drug addiction which i'm glad to say i have overcome.

I have thought about speed dating myself but it looks to me like an extremely competitive way to meet women, i think what others have said about lowering your expectations is important, it's horrible when you get your hopes up and you are pining for someone only to find out they either don't even know you exist or they flat out reject you but such is life, rejection is part of life both professionally and socially.

I think one has to build up a certain level of resilience and tolerance, i mean, unless you are some 6ft tanned hunk who drives a sports car and has a six figure salary you are going to be fighting among all the average joes, so guys like us have to rely on learning conversational skills. I've met guys in my life who aren't even that good looking but have some ability to talk their way into the bedroom, the problem is they don't tend to have long lasting relationships and leave a trail of broken hearts behind them.

I think with dating, it's a big learning curve and it requires practice, as the old saying goes, 'if you throw enough shit against the wall, eventually some of it will stick'

Also with speed dating, it's mostly about getting one night stands and getting laid. i mean lets face it, you have 4 minutes, so most people will know if they like you within a few seconds, your look, how you smell, how you carry yourself, posture etc. 4minutes isn't enough time to build up a relationship.

If you are at work for example or in a social setting, then other potential partners get time to experience what you are like and then after a few weeks, asking for a date might yield a better result.

 

Hi,
1- since you stop masturbating, had your ed been fixe?
2- you can't have sex due to religion, please which religion is it?

 

I guess this will be my first post on this forum; if the girl is not responding to your messages, do whatever you can to stop yourself from messaging her again.
You didn't reply to me? OK, not a single flying fuck will be given.
The last thing you want is checking obsessively if she has replied and wondering why is she ignoring you.
They are very good at smelling desperation and they despise it.
Be strong, be self-sufficient, be independent... don't waste a second on a person who is not remotely interested in you.
Learn from your mistakes, ask yourself what did you do wrong and what could you have done better. Did you make her laugh at some point? Try refining the things you think you did good to do them even better.
And don't succumb to porn and masturbation again... it may feel like an easy way out, but couple of second after the orgasm, you'll start despising yourself again.
I wish you all of the luck, you'll get there one day.

 

Many women have become masters of being polite without actually having any interest in a man. In some, it's a self-defense mechanism which they cannot necessarily be faulted for. It's rough out there for women and they survive this cruel world however best they can. That being said, as men, we have to be prepared for rejection at every step of the way and we must be gracious whenever it does happen. I recall years ago I walked into a fast food joint and saw a girl who I swore was going to have ALL 11 of my children! She was MY kinda girl in every way. We made eye-contact and she spoke to me: "I can't help but feel like I know you from somewhere..." she said. I smiled and a conversation started. We exchanged numbers and she insisted that I called her a soon as I could. I left after I got my order and went straight to work. When I found some time I called. To my shock and horror, a man answered! He said that nobody by that name lived there. I called two more times and it was the same guy saying that she didn't live there. I was PISSED! Why did she insist that I call her and all that if she was going to ghost me? I said fuck it and deleted her details from my phone and moved on. Several weeks later one day my phone rings. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered. It was her. She told me that she had been waiting for my call but it never came. To make a long story short, it turns out that she was so nervous that she accidentally gave me the phone number to the place she had been staying and had moved from the day we met. A plausible explanation and one that I accepted. We continued to talk and met up several times and though we never started a relationship, we did have sex once and it was awesome! We tried to hook up for a second round but it just never happened. This was decades ago, but we're still in touch. The moral of the story is that there may genuinely be a reason not related to any wrong-doing on your part. But if you close the door on that possibility it may never happen.

 

Go

 

Hi, thank for answering, hope the ed will heal. I read on internet about herbal drugs to heal ed due to over masturbation. Me too, am in the same boat as you.

 

Am only 19 years old but feeling like im heading the same route as you. What I jusr read was inspring. It urged me to think that I don't wanna make the same mistake as you. Im starting nofap this is my eight day. No relapsing so far...

 

I also have problem with ED and i hope to improve the function. Have you noticed any improvements since you stopped PMO, it's impresseng that you havent PMO for over 2½ yr

 

1 year later, do you feel like you're inte same place or has anything gotten better? From my experience you shouldn't work with people in that state when yourself is not in a good place. Maybe switch occupation? What are you studying for?

Have you meet up with a doctor or therapist?

 

Take it easy, brother. Take it easy. We all have moments and periods of low libido, depression, anxiety, and so on. Such is life when you are not constantly horny or constantly trying to find something to fap to. You've got to change yourself to be clean. If changing yourself means finding new distractions then this is what you must do. Think outside the box and get into something that you probably never thought would interest you. Go take your motorcycle safety course and learn to ride. Learn to fly. Go take some shooting classes and get your concealed carry permit. Find something to occupy your time.

 

I feel your pain man. Have you checked yourself out with a doctor? Maybe low on some vitamin/hormone? Maybe there is something else that is not related to PMO?

 

How well is your understanding of your body? How well you feel it? Pelvic floor muscles? Kegel exercices? Go check out Mantak Chia.

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