35M, Married. Starting 90 day reboot

Hello All,
I'm 35, married, and I have a child on the way. I found porn when I was a teenager, maybe 13 or 14. I've PMO'd nearly every day since then - lots of hiding and sneaking around, except when living alone. I've tried stopping numerous times, and never really been successful for more than a week or two before relapsing. It's just like a habit that I can't quit. I feel like it would be better to take up smoking instead. There's a patch to quit that at least :/

I'm sick of sneaking around and hiding my problem. I know that it makes my wife feel very inadequate when I PMO and it how it hurts her. Especially now that I have a child coming, I HAVE to stop. I need my relationship with my wife to be strong - she needs to be able to trust me. I need to be able to trust myself.

About three weeks ago, she caught me (again). This time I promised I would quit. I went cold turkey, but without much of a plan. I installed blocking software on my phone. I lasted almost two weeks. I started seeing a therapist, and I've lasted a week.

My main trigger seems like its just being alone. As soon as I'm by myself, the thoughts and rationalizations start: "no one will know so how can anyone be hurt by this? etc." Of course after the fact, I feel shame and then I'm nervous that maybe I've left some evidence behind. I've also wasted all of that time when I could have been doing the things that I need to get done that day.

The therapist suggested during the week that when I get urges I can try a delay tactic - just tell myself that I won't look at P now, but maybe later I will. He tells me that's a tactic that can work with alcoholism. It works in the moment, but unfortunately for me, delaying until later eventually turns into a plan to do it later. I know when I'll be alone and there's little risk of anyone noticing - so that becomes the plan. My wife is out of town this weekend, which is why my counter is back to zero. I need to figure out a better tactic to deal with urges.

I also feel like the way I relate to women is screwed up. When I see an attractive woman on the subway or walking down the street, I can feel my eyes looking at them the way I look at P. I don't know if I'd say I'm fantasizing about them, or that I'm even imagining having sex - but my eyes are looking for that same visual stimulation that I get out of P. It's like I've trained my brain that looking at women is a way to get that dopamine hit.

Anyway, a lot of thoughts in my head, but it felt good to write it down. All that really matters is that I have a healthy relationship with my wife and my future child. A 90 day reboot seems like a good place to start.