36 years old 8 days nofap after 10 years

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by hal9000xx, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. hal9000xx

    hal9000xx Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I first want to say that I'm so happy and thankful to discover this community since this problem has been plaguing my life for so long. It became so bad that I was masturbating even 10 times a day absolutely without even thinking about it. And its not only porn but also virtual sex games such as Second Life where I was spending hours and hours which I think its even more dangerous because it is interactive so you are kind of actively engaged it this activity. It became so bad that I was and still am depressed with no hope of ever getting in serious relationship with real person. My social anxiety did a great job to always push me back towards old habit, because who am I think that any real person would want to be with me? That's the feeling I head through my whole life and I'm not even bad looking! And I am educated so why I developed this low self image is unknown to me. It became so pervasive that I started getting interested into gay sex which scared me, and I was seriously contemplating suicide. But then I realized that I can't attach to men I still didn't feel that kind attachment I could feel towards girls but nevertheless I had those strange fantasies that were going against what I believed I am. After 8 days I start to feel I am getting attracted to girls again. Its a strange feeling, it's not that they arose me so much but I start to see beauty in girls.

    What is terrifying to me right now is time frame for this reboot to be honest with you. Because I read somewhere that although we set goal of 90 days nofap in all reality it is actually 2 months for every year of porn! I am ruffly at around 10 years of heavy use and its so depressing and discouraging to think that if it is true it will take me 24 months or 2 full years to recover. I am still going to try it because honestly I see no other way out. Is there anyone out there who had serious addiction and compulsive disorder like I do for so long who was able to get out of this nightmare. My life is real hell. I want to and need this so badly.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2019
    ZORROW and Deleted Account like this.
  2. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    I tried out Second Life years ago. I didn't know it became a sex game! Remember to fill the void with productive activities and hobbies. Train hard, read, etc. Seeing the beauty of real women is great. Keep up the hard work!
     
    Africanman likes this.
  3. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    xxbee likes this.
  4. hal9000xx

    hal9000xx Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your support I am determined to do make this work this time!
     
  5. blunt.ever

    blunt.ever Fapstronaut

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    Even is really that for recovery must reboot 2 months for every year of porn? Means that I wait 10 months for 5 years...
     
  6. ZORROW

    ZORROW Fapstronaut

    Welcome on board SIR , see age is just a number , i have been addicted to this habit for past 9 years , 9 special years of my life that will never ever going to return , i was extremely loyal towards this porn and fapping , i used to fap for 4-5 times a day and that to almost on a daily basis , you i can really relate to your problem , this year i had a record for fap free for 89 days and 21hours but i was still consuming porn , and i was cheating my brain that its ok atleast i am not fapping i am just watching porn , and PORN is the real threat her sir , after my streak got ended i again started watching porn and fapping almost on a daily basis , now i discovered this community and this is really a SACRED Place for all of us , we can recover here and get back our life .

    For starters you can read this book (your brain on porn, by- Gary wilson ) you can find it on google, first understand this enemy and then attack . See if you are thinking that 2 years would be a very long time for your recovery then its myth , you will get recover , the more your age is the more rapid your recovery process is and dont over think about time , because it will pass on no matter what , either you stay clean or addict the time will never wait for anyone . So face this reality and have some faith in yourself , you are far more bigger then your addiction , you created it and only you can destroy it , we all are here to help you and we will . Just believe in yourself and get started from where you are now , start today , your future self will thank you .

    Semen is a precious gift , single drop of it can create a whole human being , its extremely precious dont waste it on these filthy sites . Our biggest asset is our BRAIN ,and porn fucks us right in there with an invisible dick . So save it from porn and in return just see the magic , your brain will heal on its own just give it some time , exercise , proper diet, meditation and your faith.

    Things will get back to normal just give it some time and make a choice today , your choice will come with its pros and cons . So choose wisely , we all are free to choose but we are never free from its consequences .

    Read the above mentioned book and keep yourself as busy as you can , and the day will arrive soon in your life where you are no longer going be addicted from this addiction and you will live the best days of your life as PMO free addict :)

    All the best , we all are here to help you so if you need we are just a message away , welcome to this family :)
    GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST FOR THIS HEALING JOURNEY . :) ;)
     
  7. hal9000xx

    hal9000xx Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your thoughts and encouragement! It means world to me to be honest with at this moment because I feel I reached rock bottom and there so no lower then this so I guess there is nothing to lose.

    I already got Kindle version of Your Brain on Porn and it sounds so encouraging!!! Thanks again my friend this means world to me!!!
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2019
    ZORROW likes this.
  8. ZORROW

    ZORROW Fapstronaut

    My , pleasure sir , i am always here to help , just dont quit , life is worth to be living for . This is just an obstacle remove it because you can and go have get back your life . GOD BLESS YOU :)
     
  9. hal9000xx

    hal9000xx Fapstronaut

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    I do not know if that is true. As you know I'm new to this but that's what I found just googling. It may very well be wrong. As ZORROW mentioned you have to take in the account how old were you when you started using porn. Did you have any previous sexual experience with real person or not. I personally find later one more serious. If you never had real sexual experience then you don't even know what real sex feels like. You just don't have memory of it. Again I don't know if that is true but what they all say after 90 days you should be at list free of compulsion. That's my big problem. I can start mastrubating even if I don't feel like it. Just because I sit in front fo computer with my fingers on keyboard can automatically trigger going after porn and start to masturbate.

    Honestly I think that's probably biggest challenge for most of us on nofap, compulsive disorder. I can see that it MUST be much much easier or almost no effort at all once you become free from compulsive disorder of masturbating automatically as robot.
     

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