[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 10: Feeling great, up to double digits now. Makes me realise that time flies, been nearly 10 days since. Feeling more myself, more me, more centred and more confident in me. My goals in regards to pornography have been to safeguard ME, myself and my personality, for pornography makes me into someone else, someone not me, and someone I don't want to be. Harbouring me, having me, being me - that's one of the things that keeps me straight on this journey, even after so many days of abstinence, when the brainwashing starts to appear like a "good idea". Being ME, in this moment, in this day, this reality, and not living in the past or in times where I did feel good about myself, for I feel good about myself now. I've never been so confident in ME, the real me, not a false self created in order to attain an equilibrium for a lack of love within. Feeling "in the moment", real, not separate from life.

 

Relapsed
Days 0/365

No Entertainments,
No Music(Spotify)--Days 0/365
No Videos(Youtube,Movies)--Days 0/365
No materialism,
No Car/No Bike search on the internet--Days 7/365
I don't need though,only my mind telling me, so control your ShitMind.
Enjoy your free time outside of the Internet.

 

Day 96!

 

Day 42

 

Day 24

 

311 days

 

About 30 mins until end of Day 10, onto Day 11. Core feelings of why I use pornography coming up for me (guilt, shame, anger, sadness etc), so I've just been biding my time and seeing this as the death of the porn addiction and the freedom of myself. This emotional process is necessary, I have to go thru this in order to forever free myself from this horrible, crippling disease.
Luckily, I have today off work and tomorrow, so I have time to be by myself and do whatever I wish to do. I might do some gardening today, some fresh air and exercise is good for the mind, body and soul. But yeah, into Day 11!

 

70/365
I am getting more urges in the last days but nothing can stop me

 

Day 11

 

Day 97!

 

Day 43

 

Days 2/365

No Entertainments,
No Music(Spotify)--Days 2/365
No Videos(Youtube,Movies)--Days 2/365
No materialism,
No Car/No Bike search on the internet--Days 9/365
I don't need though,only my mind telling me, so control your ShitMind.
Enjoy your free time outside of the Internet.

 

312 days

 

Day 0/365

 

Day 4 heart' s says to all is well all is well

 

Day 71/365

 

64 days

 

Day 12/13

 

Day 25

 

End of Day 11, now on Day 12. Damn time flies, 11 whole days since I used. Got the slight headache today, that comes with the withdrawal period. Feeling a bit like a failure today, feeling like I want to be more "successful" in life, but I know that that is just the effects of pornography upon me. These feelings are slowly, tepidly cooling. And even if these feelings of failure are true, then how come I'm on Day 12? Isn't this success? Isn't being FREE from pornography, an addiction that I have quit and overcome, the greatest success and ultimate achievement of my life?

Night time plan of isolating my electronic devices from my home is really helping, so will continue to do this until the beginning of July '23. and see where I'm at from there.

On a side note, I am beginning to learn that everything is about timing, and that you can't rush the things you want to have and see in your life. It sometimes feels like things aren't working out or that the universe is trying to stop you from getting to where you want to be and see. But the reality is that when the time is right, everything will fall into place. You just gotta keep doing the right thing everyday, keep your mind steadily turned towards where you want to be and see, and faithfully let the universe do what it was created to be: To take care of you.