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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Dec 27, 2017.
Keep having faith in yourself and in the higher power if you believe! You'll achieve it!
Your at day 000, in 7 days you'll be agent 007! I count on you Bond, James Bond!
"If Curiosity starts walking with you along the way, remember that he is not a reliable friend and paying him any mind will eventually lead you back to zero. He may look benign, but he is very clever and a side of him takes special interest in your weaknesses, which he knows quite well."
It's that slippery slope, once you take that first step, it becomes easier to take the next.
Before you know it, you're sliding down uncontrollably.
Have reached the point where negative feelings / feeling bad doesn't trigger urges.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Day 0/365 Good to see others success on here. Gives me hope.
Getting there slowly but surely . I notice my mind doesn't have the porn fuelled fantasies any more . I feel like I am rebooted but am looking forward to see the benefits at 90 days
I love reading your posts brother . Keep up the good work
Day 51/365 and morning wood .
That is actually what happened to me, but I notice that this wrong curiosity happen to me when I am in a bad mood or in a bad situation, like when I feel I am in trouble or in difficulty ,in that situation unfortunately my body forgets this addiction and its consequences and it has learned and conditioned to run away or escape from reality to momentary euphoria that is coming by doing this addictive actions (fmo and mo and pmo or watching nude pix or sexual fantasies or by seeing nude pix or porn).
I noticed that In that situation my body starts to wander automatically and without purpose, googling wrong stuff and that is the point where small slips starts to happen and become greater.(the point when I feel down and deppressed)and gradually increase till 2 or 4 even 5 hours of wandering aimlessly till the point ended up in a relapse .
Fortunately I haven't watched porn, i just watched some nude pix and porn pix that I didn't actually want, it happened to me by accident.
At first , I saw a professional belly dancer, by accident,then it started to become greater,after that I googled it and it went on till I ended up watching nude pix of some models and searching top Italian and Russian porn stars and reading their bio and then the arousal came and the bad feeling about reaching that point hit me again and those feelings tempted me to do Mo and test my penis or sexual performance which was wrong action and I think this is also another mind trick to relapsing.
I pondered deeply about the root of my slip and the solution for 2 or 3 hours. then I came to the conclusion that I should focus on what I have,and not on what I haven't. I mean I should not focus on my financial difficulties , I should find a way to solve it .
I also noticed when I am thinking about the future without hope I am more vulnerable to falling than when I am happy,recently I am in financial difficulties because I want to establish my office (optometry office)but I don't have enough money , I have a land that I want to sell it, but people are buying it for a lesser price than its real price.
And thinking about this issues pushed me toward relapsing.
I learnt that I need to start take an action instead of just thinking . I started to go to the gym again . I started to reading for higher education.
I learnt to focus on things that this universe gave it to me such as good iq intelligence,body that are great in shape, chances to grow , difficulties to understand others and many others.
Thank you for your encouraging massage
Thank you Arc 12 for your encouraging massage.
thank you my friend.
I thought about it deeply on why I fell into this journey of recovery or as one of our great friend said journey of knowing ourselves.
I figured out I have found that I gain a knowledge on why people perform or are capable of thinking in a different level.
I thank God for the situation I experienced it myself that showed me I am capable of thinking in a different level base on my body states and or my body addiction or my bodies good skill .
In this journey I figuredout Our body act and perform physically and mentally differently base on its level of addiction or on the other side of spectrum its skill.