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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Dec 27, 2017.
172/365. No time to rest. No time to get caught up in these thoughts.
174 days until new years.
Checking in .One day at a time.
224 days completed.
Getting stronger day by day!
Back to Ground Zero
Sorry guys! This should have been the 50th day but self-sabotage was invoked. I had this long-standing urge yesterday that I could not shake off. I somehow decided to test myself and viewed some erotic photos of women. I erroneously thought that even if I masturbated, I would not cum. Well, I came very quickly. Disappointed in myself I said to hell with it and started viewing some hardcore stuff and continued to masturbate until 1 AM. I came two more times and right now I feel very depleted and jaded. The lifeforce has been sucked out of me. I really have to get to the bottom of this failure and understand its genesis. That urge to watch porn was too strong and overrode all my defenses. The thing I have to do now is to get back basics, set a 3-day target to get out of the mental fog and depression and do a post-mortem of my failure applying lessons learned.
Though I failed I am not too disappointed. It was my longest streak ever. I am actually confident that I will go on another long streak. My confidence has been sky high and I don't think it will drop unless I binge. Once I go three days without porn, I will regain my momentum and continue on the journey to freedom. This is no time to engage in a pity party. Dust myself, get right up and move on!
I had relapsed 3 times today...
Therefore i have fapped 66 times in past 24 days
Relapsed last night while I was about a bottle of gin deep.. I'm not even really angry, or disappointed with myself. Just thankful to have received what I feel is further confirmation that I need to live a life of total sobriety.
so, I guess.. here's to getting sober.
Let's try this again.
I started looking at pictures of a pretty girl... Glad I stopped myself quickly, because I could feel myself starting to rationalize each future step that was about to happen.
Sorry for the radio silence! I've been traveling for work and had little time to check in on the computer. It's been a hard couple of days. It's hard to stay healthy (eating out, lack of sleep, over-caffeination, etc.) when traveling and it's starting to catch up to me. The more uncomfortable my body and chemistry gets the more urges I get. So, I thought it was time to take a break and check in. Just took a nice cold shower and am about to play some video games
Day 13 (3.6%)
Today I did not use porn nor masturbated myself.
I engage myself in healthy activities and had a meeting with my girlfriend and her cat
I don't want to use porn because it limits my potential and I want to be free from social anxiety and bad mental health
I want to be a lion, great version of myself
I decide to fight for my new future, my goal is 2+ years of no porn and masturbation. Cut off addiction for "lifetime" period of time
The third time I've made it this far. Thank you to all here who've given me motivation, support, and wisdom! Aiming for 120 next.