37. Happy. Frustrated.

I'm 37. Been married since I was 20 to a loving and beautiful wife that I'm STILL crazy about. I have an 11 year old daughter. In a secular sense my wife and I are both quite successful and have a healthy income / savings. We have a beautiful home. In a spiritual sense I'm quite fulfilled as well. I am happy.

But am I content? Shouldn't I be? So why the heck do I keep coming back to pornography? I don't understand. It's frustrating. I had a habit with it years ago and I fought my way out. But it started again once I began working from home more. Maybe once every few months. To once a month. And now once every couple of weeks. Not a good trajectory. I'm so stupid. This could destroy the happy life I have built with my family. How can I fully be aware of that and still use pornography? So frustrating.

I'm hoping getting with this community will help.

 

Yeah, dude - home is where all the technology lives. Your desktop. Your laptop. Your phone. Your TV. Being here alone is a recipe for disaster. Good to know I'm not the only one dealing with it - thanks for that. I'm confident I'll find inspiration from others here.

 

Don't mind at all.

My complaints with porn are pretty numerous:
- Watching it is a secretive practice which harms the loyalty and exclusivity I have with my wife, especially when accompanied by M & O
- It causes me to pornify women I see in my day to day
- It glorifies mistreatment of women
- It goes against the moral structure of my spiritual beliefs
- It makes me feel shameful and depressed
- It's addictive

Porn has been an issue in the past, for sure. I've overcome it, too. Its just tough nowadays working from home. You ask about triggers...some of the biggest triggers are being alone and bored.

 

Charity, friend, remember to do charity. Help people not just financially, but by listening to them. Helping others will make you an even better person, and I'm sure it will further strengthen your family unity and make your soul evolve more quickly towards true happiness ... and buy a playstation 5. (laughs)