Experiment1996
Fapstronaut
Hello all. I am 24 years old and have done PMO from age 13-22. I was extremely addicted and my sessions went on for hours at a time. I had several tabs open and developed several fetishes. Normal porn was no longer interesting for me. I have never used drugs or alcohol in my life.
After several streaks I am now at day 371 and I am still on the flatline or PAWS (Post acute withdrawal symptoms).
I have noticed the following positive symptoms so far:
- Physical changes: I am no longer skinny. I woke up after 120 days without exercise and my body was suddenly wider. My jawline has improved and my face has gained some colour. I no longer have dead eyes. The almost constant lower back pain has disappeared. It feels like my bones have been strengthened and I have gained some muscles. My prostate seems to have become smaller. -> Too much PMO can cause the prostate to get bigger.
- Memories: Memories from childhood have come back. I can remember up to the age of 6. I can remember which children I played with and I remember positive and negative events that happened in my life so far. I also remember many details.
- A new view of the world: I no longer see women as sex objects. For me, women are very beautiful creatures. I want to have a normal, intimate relationship with a woman. I want to get married. I want to do everyday things with a woman like going for a walk, to the cinema, cooking, laughing, etc. Because of the negative symptoms I will list later, I don't want to approach women at the moment.
I realise that short-term rewards are not the meaning of life. You have to fight if you want something. Successful people are patient. I want to achieve more in my life. My life during my addiction: PMO, videogames, TV, school, work and isolation from the world.
My whole world view has changed. I no longer blame others for my failures and for my life. I want to work on myself every day to become a better person and to live a happy life.
-> -> ->
Unfortunately, I still suffer from the following negative symptoms:
- Social Anxiety / low confidence: Has improved significantly, but I am still afraid to walk and talk in a group full of people. I still think what the others might think of me. I am afraid of failing in public or doing something embarrassing.
- Brain Fog: This has improved a little, but is still not perfect. I still have poor focus and concentration. It takes me a long time to make decisions. Sometimes I have trouble expressing myself. When I talk to a person, I can't process information very well. I don't understand so quickly. I sometimes feel really stupid when I talk to people. When I watch TV or read something, I sometimes lose concentration or think about something else. I get distracted quickly. I can't access my thoughts so quickly and then speak them out.
- Anhedonia: I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow. I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow.
Low energy: I have almost no energy. I go to work, pursue my hobbies, go for walks, but it feels heavy. I don't feel that energy in my body and mind.
Low motivation: I find it difficult to motivate myself for normal, everyday things like shopping, walking, working, reading. I have no motivation to learn a new language or to leave the house. I work from Monday to Friday and I have no motivation to work. You can see it in my face.
Low libido: My libido is weak. I sometimes have morning wood, but it is not very strong. I do not have spontaneous erections. If a woman touched my arm or flirted with me, I would have an erection. I could have an erection and sex with a woman, but I still don't have such a strong desire for sex. My libido is not yet as healthy as it should be.
Fatigue: No matter how much I sleep, I always feel tired. My whole body and mind feels tired. I can sleep in the evening and then I get tired again through the day and could fall asleep again. I often have the urge to lie in bed or rest.
Sore muscles / body pain: I have sore muscles or body aches every day, even if I don't do any sport. I can't tell the difference between the two. It feels like my muscles or bones are not quite healed / grown out / stable yet.
Digestive problems / prostate: I often have hard stools and sometimes constipation. Rarely do I have normal stools. Frequent urination is also a problem for me. My whole stomach area feels strange. I feel a strange pressure in my stomach area every day, no matter what I eat or drink. My prostate is not completely cured yet, as I reported at the beginning. I also can't lose fat and have a "beer belly" even though I'm not fat.
Wet dreams: Mostly after 7 or 8 days I get a Wet Dream or Nocturnal Emission. In dreams I am very sensitive. If a woman touches me in a dream, I get an ejaculation. After a Wet Dream my negative symptoms are more pronounced. I need 2-3 days until I am more or less normal again. When I have an wet dream, I don't feel joy during the release. It just comes out without orgasm or pleasure.
Time perception: The time feels a bit strange. I think it's because of the brain fog. Some days I do some things like showering, eating, shopping, walking, taking out the rubbish, vacuuming and it feels like I've done an extreme amount. So I am quickly exhausted, yet only 2-3 hours have passed.
-> -> ->
I have had a blood test. My testosterone level is good. I take vitamin D daily and will have to start weekly vitamin B12 injections soon. I will receive an iron infusion which should last for 3 months.
I personally believe that my flatline / PAWS will end at the end of June. That would be a total of 18 months. I estimate this number because "sikreodds97" went on his flatline for 24 months.
I have made an effort to make this post as accurate as possible and hope that long flatliners will also get in touch to encourage me. I need your motivation and your answers to start the new year positively. Please help me. It feels like it's going to be a long time.
After several streaks I am now at day 371 and I am still on the flatline or PAWS (Post acute withdrawal symptoms).
I have noticed the following positive symptoms so far:
- Physical changes: I am no longer skinny. I woke up after 120 days without exercise and my body was suddenly wider. My jawline has improved and my face has gained some colour. I no longer have dead eyes. The almost constant lower back pain has disappeared. It feels like my bones have been strengthened and I have gained some muscles. My prostate seems to have become smaller. -> Too much PMO can cause the prostate to get bigger.
- Memories: Memories from childhood have come back. I can remember up to the age of 6. I can remember which children I played with and I remember positive and negative events that happened in my life so far. I also remember many details.
- A new view of the world: I no longer see women as sex objects. For me, women are very beautiful creatures. I want to have a normal, intimate relationship with a woman. I want to get married. I want to do everyday things with a woman like going for a walk, to the cinema, cooking, laughing, etc. Because of the negative symptoms I will list later, I don't want to approach women at the moment.
I realise that short-term rewards are not the meaning of life. You have to fight if you want something. Successful people are patient. I want to achieve more in my life. My life during my addiction: PMO, videogames, TV, school, work and isolation from the world.
My whole world view has changed. I no longer blame others for my failures and for my life. I want to work on myself every day to become a better person and to live a happy life.
-> -> ->
Unfortunately, I still suffer from the following negative symptoms:
- Social Anxiety / low confidence: Has improved significantly, but I am still afraid to walk and talk in a group full of people. I still think what the others might think of me. I am afraid of failing in public or doing something embarrassing.
- Brain Fog: This has improved a little, but is still not perfect. I still have poor focus and concentration. It takes me a long time to make decisions. Sometimes I have trouble expressing myself. When I talk to a person, I can't process information very well. I don't understand so quickly. I sometimes feel really stupid when I talk to people. When I watch TV or read something, I sometimes lose concentration or think about something else. I get distracted quickly. I can't access my thoughts so quickly and then speak them out.
- Anhedonia: I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow. I don't really enjoy anything any more and almost nothing makes me really happy. I pursue my hobbies, such as playing football or billiards, but I don't feel any great joy in them. My feelings seem to be blocked somehow and don't come out. Everything seems to be boring somehow.
Low energy: I have almost no energy. I go to work, pursue my hobbies, go for walks, but it feels heavy. I don't feel that energy in my body and mind.
Low motivation: I find it difficult to motivate myself for normal, everyday things like shopping, walking, working, reading. I have no motivation to learn a new language or to leave the house. I work from Monday to Friday and I have no motivation to work. You can see it in my face.
Low libido: My libido is weak. I sometimes have morning wood, but it is not very strong. I do not have spontaneous erections. If a woman touched my arm or flirted with me, I would have an erection. I could have an erection and sex with a woman, but I still don't have such a strong desire for sex. My libido is not yet as healthy as it should be.
Fatigue: No matter how much I sleep, I always feel tired. My whole body and mind feels tired. I can sleep in the evening and then I get tired again through the day and could fall asleep again. I often have the urge to lie in bed or rest.
Sore muscles / body pain: I have sore muscles or body aches every day, even if I don't do any sport. I can't tell the difference between the two. It feels like my muscles or bones are not quite healed / grown out / stable yet.
Digestive problems / prostate: I often have hard stools and sometimes constipation. Rarely do I have normal stools. Frequent urination is also a problem for me. My whole stomach area feels strange. I feel a strange pressure in my stomach area every day, no matter what I eat or drink. My prostate is not completely cured yet, as I reported at the beginning. I also can't lose fat and have a "beer belly" even though I'm not fat.
Wet dreams: Mostly after 7 or 8 days I get a Wet Dream or Nocturnal Emission. In dreams I am very sensitive. If a woman touches me in a dream, I get an ejaculation. After a Wet Dream my negative symptoms are more pronounced. I need 2-3 days until I am more or less normal again. When I have an wet dream, I don't feel joy during the release. It just comes out without orgasm or pleasure.
Time perception: The time feels a bit strange. I think it's because of the brain fog. Some days I do some things like showering, eating, shopping, walking, taking out the rubbish, vacuuming and it feels like I've done an extreme amount. So I am quickly exhausted, yet only 2-3 hours have passed.
-> -> ->
I have had a blood test. My testosterone level is good. I take vitamin D daily and will have to start weekly vitamin B12 injections soon. I will receive an iron infusion which should last for 3 months.
I personally believe that my flatline / PAWS will end at the end of June. That would be a total of 18 months. I estimate this number because "sikreodds97" went on his flatline for 24 months.
I have made an effort to make this post as accurate as possible and hope that long flatliners will also get in touch to encourage me. I need your motivation and your answers to start the new year positively. Please help me. It feels like it's going to be a long time.
But I always had social anxiety...I am fapoing since age of 14... Daily 4- 5 times... now I am 25....