39 days of abstinence but the journey is still along

Hi guys I'm max and I wanted to share with you my progress. 39 days passed without PMO . Thinking 39 days passed causes me a strange effect. When I started I didn't know where I would have gone, I had a purpose, to arrive a year without PMO, but always looking day by day. I passed through different phases in this period, first there was a phase of enthusiasm, euphory, an enormous will to live, in which I tried to recover the relations with others, in which I tried to talk with different girls, I rediscovered lost passions as reading, cinema, sport. Then there was a phase of depression in which I was very bad and urges grew up. I resisted and I don't know why even because I was going down in the motivaions. Maybe, because I always had in front of me the will to live life I wish, with affections and in control of myself. Today I fell more stable, not euphoric nor depressed but with consciousness there is still to do many things in my reboot. In this process of recover I see many positive things as staying with others without anxiety, dating , no mental fatigue that allowed me to do nothing. I think how long time spent in masturbation and pornography, those days in which I wanted to do nothing and my days flew away empty. Of course I cannot say I am satisfied about everything but at least I do a lot of things in my days and it is difficult I stay to laze. Surely it would be fine to be again in that state of euphory , to have again that will to be capable to enfold peopole around me but this one could be a temptaion to relapse for coming back again in the first phase of reboot. I think even if I fell stable (flatline?!?!?!) I think I am better than 39 days ago. Better now that I can fight for the things I'm interested as to have a girlfriend and many friends, and I know I can, but it is important to extend my social context, aware that I have not that mental foggy that prevented me to say also two words with others. In effects I can conclude saying I fell serene and calm.

Thanks for reading me,
max

 

Hi @Harry91, thanks for your words, I think it is important in this process of rebooting compare our experiences to undertand we are not abnormal but everybody suffers of the same things and so how he is facing life in this situation.
I hope to arrive 60&90 day and also beyond, but now I think it is important to look day by day .
I hope hear you again
max