4 months clean, living with gf, life is good

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by RealV8, Oct 25, 2023.

  1. RealV8

    RealV8 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys I passed for months free of porn a few days ago and figured I’d share the results!
    My goal was to quit pornography, I find that with every passing week I think about it less and less I can barely even remember what they look like. I’m still with the girlfriend I met around the same time I quit ( she asked me not to) we live together and it’s pretty great! I really love her and we have a lot of fun together!
    I felt like I’d break her heart if I did that again so it was a whole lot easier to quit with that motivation.
    It didn’t make my testosterone go up and be all alpha male, that’s a fantasy. Got mine measured in the middle of all of it and it was normal. Do feel regular horniness and not just dull like I did with porn addiction.
    Quitting allowed me to love myself a bit more and by consequence I have opportunities to be more confident!
    My results are pretty much, it removed the guilt of porn and allowed me to move on with my life.
    I have sex and mb off an on but nothing crazy or out of the ordinary. I’ve went 60 days without doing it, no difference. Semen retention doesn’t work for me.
    Quitting gave me the opportunity to get a girlfriend and finally not be alone after all these years. That was motivation enough. Hope you guys find it as well.
     
  2. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Good for you, a happy normal life and you didn't buy into all the false news about semen retention. There is no scientific proof that semen retention does any of what is claimed here. However, psychologically if someone thinks it helps, than let them believe it and maybe it will work for them like placebo's do for some.
     
  3. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

    hi congratulations!
    about this:
    what did you expect exactly? what did you get instead?

    thanks for sharing your experience.
     
  4. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Congrats to that!
    Although I have been on NoFap for almost six years at this point, I haven't even been near the results that you have in terms of finding a girlfriend and/or getting laid. For me, sex and having a sex-life is still something that feels so alien and out of reach for me. It's something that others (i.e. everyone but me) take part of and that I only can dream about. A lot of it is probably due to self-sabotage and bad self-image - something that women can sense even from otherwise stable, fit and high-testosterone men like me.

    I have wondered what my next step will be, as I don't even know in what end to start. Perhaps, CBT or similar therapies would be a good start. My long-term goal is to have a family with loving wife and healthy children, but that seems so far away right now. So far it can be compared to a 200 kg man aiming to run a sub-3-hour marathon, after never having exercised during his entire life.
     
  5. RealV8

    RealV8 Fapstronaut

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    I wasn’t expecting much of what i seem to be pretty exaggerated on the forum. Increased intelligence focus bigger muscles etc. what I found is that it did take my focus off porn a little and dorced me to try new things. But compared to having healthy sex and occasional mb it’s no difference
     
    silex_jedi likes this.
  6. RealV8

    RealV8 Fapstronaut

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    What helped me the biggest besides lifting and having hobbies was gaining good friends. I found that a lot of the thoughts I had were toxic and I needed to change quite a bit before I was “acceptable” to date. Plus the more friends you have the greater chances they have a single friend!
     
  7. RealV8

    RealV8 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man! Whatever works ! I just found it didn’t help me. No difference in that and regular sex!
     
    nomo likes this.
  8. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    It's right that in my case, there is a lot of mental self-sabotage (like self-loathing) , despite having achieved quite a lot during my 35 year-old life. The moment I see a beautiful young woman, I immediately think she's way out of my league, no matter how much I improve.
    The only issue with finding women in friend-circles in my case, is the lack of a real age gap. I'm primarily attracted to much younger women (between the ages of 19-28) and would never date a woman my age since there are lots of red-flags amongst 30+ year old women who are single. A few of them being promiscuity, fading looks and lots of emotional baggage.
     
  9. RealV8

    RealV8 Fapstronaut

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    man that sounds like a ton of self doubt! Sounds like you’ve improved your physicality but you still struggle with your self confidence. Just speaking what I’ve dealt with on 7 years of loneliness and really my entire life of not having a good relationship.
    Yes it’s true the market gets slimmer with each year. The older you get you have 3 choices, someone who is whoring around, someone who has a kid, or divorced/long relationship who is hurt and looking for someone new. I’d go for the third. I’m not selling settling but you have to take into account the market you have. There are still many good girls out there. The worldview that there’s none left is a bad way of thinking and will cause you to continually think you’re never gonna find someone.
     
  10. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Well, for a man, the market doesn't get slimmer with age, as long as you stay on top of your game (i.e. stay fit, make good money, are driven and become your best version). Many times, it feels like finding the few good young women that's left (at least in Western countries) is like looking for a needle in a haystack. But, if the choice stands between dating a skanky 304 or being single, I rather prefer the latter.

    I have dealt with loneliness for most of my life (and no romantic relationships) essentially, and it is hard to come out of that way of thinking. Mostly, I think that loneliness will be the remainder of my life, which stresses me out a bit since my mother then, won't be old enough to see her grandchildren. I am not the only child, but have three younger siblings btw.

    Many times, I feel like that strange lone-wolf who still turns up to family lunches and gatherings without a girlfriend/wife. I feel like I have wasted so much of my life already that it will be very hard get going now, without simultaneously dwelling on my failed past.
     
    ConcertConctact likes this.

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