40 and looking to fix this decade

I assure you that these last ten years have not been wasted, I know this sounds corny but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Breaking out of this loop will give you even more strength and motivation to achieve your full potential, and trust me I have seen cases worse than yours that have recovered. I really hope everything works out and I wish you the best of luck brother!

 

Hi David, I can totally relate to what you're saying. Working alone and from home is way too tempting. Stay positive and strong. You want to kick this and you can. I've stopped, then started again, then stopped ,then started again so many times over the last 20 or so years I feel ashamed to say it. But we're not bad people. We have an illness and we can change. Let's do this. Peace and serenity to you.

 

What’s PM David , I’m new to this NoFap , I’m 52 yrs old , married , 2 grown up children and am addicted to porn , well have a quick look when on own and knock one out as they say everyday ,would you say that is not normal ???

 

Hi

I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

֍ You got this my friend ֍​

 

Can you help me . ? If u can than reply me and also tell me where i can get ur reply coz i'm new na

 

Hi David, who's to say what's normal. The fact that you're here says that you've had enough of your old habits. If you feel like you're addicted to porn, then you are addicted to porn. Peace to you in your journey.

 

Good luck for your journey!

 

It's been 24 hours since i have controlled but my urge is at high i get boner every minute don't know what to do .
And also tell me how to transfer this sex energy into something else .. Coz i think my brain is paused i feel like absent minded and i dont habe potential to learn new things, skills, and also lack of confidence..

 

Cold showers , exercise to distract your mind , will be very tough , my third day , I’m not too bad at mo , but keep trying to resist

 

Dear David2018, I am 49 years old, and I have ruined my life with PMO since the age of 13. I understood in my first reboot, but I will go beyond 90 days, that I am a drug addict: from PMO, from alcohol even if in social form, from sugar, from stimulating drinks caffeine and other dopaminergics. I suffer from insomnia, migraine, irritability, depression, anxiety, constipation, masturbation hemorrhoids, chronic colitis. Don't get tired of fighting, day after day ... it's hard. I'm still flat-line, but that's not the worst thing. The best thing is to be here to write to you and others. Courage! You will do it, as many do. A fraternal embrace in this difficult moment due to COVID.

 

My friend it's okay. And it is going to get better, God Willing, from here on out. The worst symptom of addiction is the hollowness it fills the addict with. That is what it is, perhaps. A perfectly sane, healthy, normal individual tricked into tossing out a piece of his own well-being every time he either chooses or feels forced to seek a fix.
Staying clean is not a difficult task. But it is one that makes a person come face-to-face with his or her worst demons. It is those demons; the mental shackles, the sleepless nights where we are afraid to be left to our own thoughts, those empty moments that contrast otherwise happy circumstances, the quiet rage brewing within us even amidst the most tranquil of calms.. the duality that we all seem to face tends to be rooted in the simple fact that we deny ourselves to actually learn about what makes us, us. Be prepared for much more emotional turmoil than physical. In fact, in my humble opinion, nearly all the physical "symptoms" of PMO withdrawal pangs are in actuality actualisations of psychological readjustments.
Our minds become warped by addiction, Delta FosB proteins develop pathways or rather emotional slides that the mind resorts to as shortcuts. While the science is out on whether the change is permanent or temporary, the anecdotal evidence suggests that it is definitely temporary, while the old slides don't exactly die out, with time and healing (not difficult steps; just learning to go about one's life and dealing with one's emotions and circumstances in a positive way), they most certainly become irrelevant to the mind and hence their existence matters as much as that slight scuff on your favorite chair.
You say that you are regarded as successful but do not feel as such. I find that more than anything, a sign of your humility. Just think though: you've led a successful life whilst having to deal with something so terrible as PMO addiction. Now, God Willing, you have started to live out the rest of your life - the stable, most rewarding part - as a happy non-PMOer.
If you do not feel happy yet, then I hope you do begin to realize how marvelous this decision of yours is. I like to think of addiction as what it is ; a disease. Now if this were a physical ailment, you would be jumping for joy if you would've found a cure. Even as you would take the first dose, mentally you would be thinking "Isn't it amazing? I'm going to be fine! I won't die to this awful disease!", and things would only become that much more pleasant as you are further along with your recovery.
The cure to PMO is simple: Don't PMO, and don't mope around about it.
What I mean by moping is that when the initial urges hit eventually, do not let them govern and rule your thoughts, because that is the mind whining and crying and moping for a hit. Instead, positively affirm how good it is that you are finally curing yourself of that awful awful addiction that made you feel so bad for 18+ years! You are already set for the first part, since I can see that you have decided to not fall prey to PMO again. So just be sure to focus on that second part and you should be set for good!
Also remember a few things along the way:

• It rains for the pope and the murderer alike, there will be good and bad days. PMO only causes both the good and bad days to become worse
• PMO is not a crutch that we use for support, it is the monster that impales us with its claws and doesn't let go
• There is NO support in PMO, everytime anyone PMOs he or she feels instant regret. We as addicts become skilled at trying to mask that regret, but it is there after every PMO!
• PMO does not fix anything, neither emotionally and of course nor physically. It does not give us a pickmeup when the missus is not in the mood. It does not give us "stamina" to last longer in bed. These are all, not causes of PMO, but EXCUSES to PMO. As if we are honest, we all would agree that PMO has never helped us in any way at all.
• There is no such thing as moderation: If our minds tell us that it is okay to PMO once in a while it is just another ruse to make us fall for the addiction trap. PMOing once is how we all got started on this sickness. PMOing once again is how we will remain trapped.
• Your recovery is not a climb of Mount Everest. It is as the name implies: a recovery. Things will get BETTER every single day The mind will make you feel like things are getting tougher, but that is just the noise of the addicted part of it, shouting at you to not let it die and let it feed on your well-being. This is NOT difficult, it's just something we are new to. So take everyday as a new adventure, fight away the monsters (urges) by ignoring the weaker ones, and by strengthening yourself (reminding yourself of why it is better to not PMO even if it may feel like you want to) and stay focused on your goal (to be a happy non-PMOer).
• Let out your emotions; there would come a lot of them now that you will feel all the colours and vibrancy of life to its fullest. Express your joys and your sorrows, as well as your frustrations and anger. Read up on positive emotional well being if you haven't already. You'll be that much better for it.
• And lastly, congratulations, this is the beginning of the rest of your life in freedom

 

Can someone explain what does PMO mean ? , I see this all the time , keep going sigfridox, you have a lot going on , I must say , have you a partner/ girlfriend

 

Porn-masturbation-Orgasm, the unholy trinity of this addiction/sexual dysfunction. One leads to the next and the next in a vicious cycle. That's why it is considered prudent to tackle all three (if you do all three as some people only watch/read porn but are in the habit of MO) as three prongs of the same dopamine-seeking addiction.
And considering the three together is also why sex/intimacy with a partner/spouse is considered exempt from what is considered a relapse. Since it is the going solo that causes all the problems for most, if not all the people on here.