40 Days of NoFap Success!

In just an hour as of writing this sentence, my counter will read 40 days which is the goal I set out to accomplish. I'll be starting a new streak after this one. ( Meaning the counter will read '0' after this. ) I'll try not to relapse, but I've just been triggered and my motivation has taken a serious blow. Hopefully, I won't, but if I do, that's alright. Relapses help you learn. Avoid them, but it's important to get back up on the horse if you fail.

With a new streak comes reflections on the old one. This time, I'll be aiming for 60 Days of NoFap. But before I do, I will get into everything I've experienced since joining. Every benefit and detriment I've experienced during a streak. Every phenomena I've experienced from attraction to and from girls to brain numbing and fog. I'll also be touching on why I decided to do NoFap and what helped me make it this far.

With that, here we go. A brief ( nope, not really ) summary of my journey in Liquid Shoes. Know that this post will likely go through many edits since I'm bound to forget some details. I'd like to be thorough as well as correcting spelling, improper grammar, etc.

Why I Decided To Do NoFap

Before NoFap, I've been masturbating since an extremely young age. Perhaps 5 or so. I wasn't introduced to porn until age 13 where for the first time, I saw a strange woman's naked breast. At first mesmerized by what I saw, I suddenly felt like what I was doing was wrong and I closed the page and just ran away from my laptop.

But as time grew on, I got more and more curious. Then finally, I was ensnared by PMO. I was doing it to porn videos 1-3 times a day for about 3 years.

Now, the reason why I stopped is mainly because my father told me that doing it excessively is very unhealthy. This freaked me out and got me a little mad. I knew at that point that I was going to have to fight against my nature. And it wasn't just my nature, it was a habit I had to destroy.

So I made my account which was originally named ABeautifulThrone and created my first journal titled 'A Road of Healing'. I know, I know, it's a bit of a cop-out name. I don't know why, I can get pretty deep with a lot of things, even if I don't seem like I do. But here, on this forum, that habit just escapes me. Heh.

I started on May 10th, 2017 with streaks and relapses. However, I eventually reached 37 Days of NoFap, but on the 25th day, I went on a week-long vacation which helped. This streak has been nothing but pure, sheer willpower.

I began to read on people's success stories, guys saying that they feel so much more confident and sexier and in turn, their sex-lives greatly improved, from the quanity of the women to the quality. I wanted that. My little guy was usually always inactive because I was abusing him so much. I thought it was just because I'm not around girls often on account of being homeschooled, but it wasn't just that. It was this addiction. And so, seeing those stories, I kept trying.

Detriments Before Starting NoFap

I experienced social anxiety for a long time in my life as well as being generally unfocused. I still am unfocused, but not as much as I used to be. My man down there was always dead, rarely got erect, which did always worry me. And honestly, that's about all I can think of. I never had a problem attracting girls/women even when I was masturbating all the time. I just had problems talking to people I didn't know and problems getting erect.

Benefits After Starting NoFap

I'll attempt to mark down the day or around that day when I experienced the corresponding benefit.

*My attraction to and from girls would increase at about the 7-9 day mark.

*During this streak, morning wood made an startling appearance for about 2-3 days on the 12th day.

*Confidence taking a boost would vary from being 17 days in to 21.

*I've always masturbated prone which causes desensitation pretty quickly, so if you're like me and you're wondering when you can get it back so handjobs are actually stimulating, the earliest I discovered myself becoming resensitized was about 17 days into the streak.

*I've always had acne, but it's a little confusing, streak wise. For this streak, it started to disappear greatly by around the 25th day, but now it's making an appearance again.

*My overall mood took a boost at around the 30th day or so.

*I've always had problems forgiving myself for the stupid mistakes and things I've done in the past, but doing NoFap has helped me get over my guilt for doing them. However, I cannot truly say when this happened. Sometime between October 22nd and today, which is how long the streak is.

*Social anxiety weakened. It can still appear at times, but the frequency and the severity drastically decreased.

This is about all that comes to mind for now.

Things That Helped Me Through This Streak

For the first two weeks, I spent all of my time reading the suffering of other guys that were new to NoFap. I would greet them and send them to a place to create their journal. This built support for me and that made my motivation and confidence that I could make it to 40 days increase. I held out until the 18th day where, I'm telling you, the BIGGEST urge I've ever felt hit me. It was crippling. I was alone, thinking about a particular porn video and I got seriously triggered. I proceeded to open a website that has a 'Yes or No' wheel on it. It landed on 'Yes'. Which made me get even more triggered.

Why did I open the site? To be honest, I'm not sure. I kept thinking that it'll help me overcome the urge, but it didn't when it landed on 'Yes' instead of 'No'.

I proceeded to close my door, open up my phone, open up the app store to find a web broswer that overrides my restrictions, and I just stopped right there. I couldn't bring my thumb to hit that 'Install' button. So for a few minutes, I just stood there. Hands shaking, chest pounding, wondering if this is truly the end of my streak.

Then suddenly, my feet just forced me into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door and proceeded to calm myself down.

It IS possible to defeat crippling urges, guys. You just need to have the determination to see it through. If my dorky, undisciplined ass can make it, SO CAN YOU.

The girls at my band are always so beautiful to me when I'm on a good streak and it's really motivating being enthralled like that. It helps to demonize the thought of porn even further.

Not to toot my own horn, but I am an extremely creative person and I enjoy playing the piano. I've been playing about 8 years now, so throwing myself into my creative desires, transforming the sexual desires into them really helps if you're anything like me.

I also have my own family to talk to as well. They don't know that I'm doing NoFap and I really don't want them to. However, it always takes my mind off things whenever I speak to them.

The biggest thing that helped, I have to say, is the consistent posting here on NoFap. Getting your thoughts out and supporting others was a very good distraction and kept many urges at bay. Not even the girls helped that much since I only saw them once a week.

Insulting myself also helped deal with urges. Saying things like:

"Only little punk bitches relapse to this shit. I'm no little punk."



That is all I can think of for now.

Phenomena Experienced During NoFap

The following post will be quite TMI, so if you aren't interested or feel you understand the odd effects gained from NoFap, skip ahead to the next text in bold AND italics. However, if you suffer from things like brain numbing or sharp pain in the side of the head to your little guy turtling up, read on.

Brain Fog/Numbness/Sharp Pain

Bad brain fog and numbness would hit me after a binge and it would hit me when I'm early in a streak. Posting here on NoFap would trigger it more, especially when I talked about porn, masturbation, and relapse as a whole. You get that feeling, right? That numb, pressured feeling on the top of your head? That's what I had and sometimes, it'd be unbearable.

I'm happy to report that it DOES GO AWAY and that the things that trigger it DO WEAKEN. For me, it did. Now, I can even look at something seen as porn and get very little pain in my head as well as speak intimately about PMO.

The sharp, needle-like pain didn't happen often for me, but it still did happen. However, I'd treat it like the brain fog. Just continue abstaining and it'll disappear.

Brain Fog didn't start happening to me until after I started doing NoFap. It seems to be a withdrawal symptom. Treat it as such.

"Streak Goggles"

What do I mean by this? Essentially, whenever I'm on a good streak, I had this affect me to an extreme once. This happens to every guy, but as you know, the more you abstain, the more attractive other girls become. This is a good thing, for the most part. But one time, it hit hard. Ugly girls got incredibly attractive and I ended up flirting with one that I really regret. This can cause you to lead on girls you really didn't want attention from.

Leading on a girl you don't like is a very dickish move and it made me feel guilty when the goggles died down. To treat this, it seems like disciplining yourself is the key so you aren't tempted to flirt. Realize what you're doing and ensure you have not nor will you ever take it too far.

Dead Dick

This is when your dick looks dead, really. It's all scrunched up and wrinkled when this happens. This happened to me a lot, though to be fair, I like being cold, so.

A lot of guys will see their dick turtling up, looking like it's attempting to recede back into themselves and said guys could start freaking out and end up relapsing. I'm happy to report that my own, instead of being flaccid at about 1-2 inches, it increased to 3-4. Erection quality also increased. Semi-erections look like full ones now. I cannot say when I noticed this, but it seemed to strike at around the 4 week mark. Abstain, my brothers. It's worth it.

HOCD

HOCD means Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is the fear of becoming gay. Being a straight guy for my entire life, I'm a little humiliated to report that I did experience this. Or at least, I thought I did. Let me explain.

In all the years that I was masturbating to porn, the genre I explored the most was Lesbian content. Sometimes POV, sometimes Straight, but the majority was Lesbian and sub-genres of lesbian content.

I never experienced any weird thoughts this entire time. Soon, I started getting into POV content which at times, showed the guy's genitals, but not his face. I hated seeing his face. His dick, hands, feet, I dealt with since I expected that with the genre, but his face, ass, or entire body, I hated seeing that. Eventually, I moved on to straight content on occassion usually because the girl in it would be so attractive. After joining NoFap, I started to experience HOCD.

To be honest, however, I'm not entirely sure that what I experienced was in fact HOCD. I mean, I knew I wasn't gay, I never took significant amounts of time questioning that fact, and whenever I was horny, it was girls, girls, girls. It was never once a guy.

But sometimes, it'd be a passing thought and I'd get disgusted with myself. ( I don't care if this offends somebody. That's another benefit from NoFap. People can fuck right off. )

However, I feel like that if I never heard about HOCD, I wouldn't have experienced this. I think it stems from some sort of odd anxiety that sets in FROM doing NoFap as a withdrawal symptom. You're not doing it to girls anymore, you see guys stating they're suffering from it, you start wondering and worrying that you might be too. I'm confident that that's what it was. I'm also happy to report that while this did not fully go away, it does get weaker over time. However, I'm also confident that finding a girl will definitely help you get your mind off of that. It's my current goal right now.


Motivation Loss

I'm sad to report that when the counter read '40 Days', I relapsed. For the past two days, I just couldn't give a shit anymore. I figured I'd just make it to my goal and just do it. I do not know why. For now, my only idea for avoiding this is to make posting at NoFap a daily habit. It's doing that that made the first two weeks of this streak so fast and easy to me.

Streak-Related Trigger Strength

What do I mean by this? Essentially, I mean that the increased attraction to girls did make triggers a lot more powerful. It's why that urge hit me really hard in November. However, dominating those urges made them drastically weaker afterwards. But this brings me to my next item.

The Pseudo-Elastic Effect

As I like to call it. So combined with Motivation Loss and Streak-Related Trigger Strength, I'm brought to this effect. What do I mean by this?

Well, it was the loss of motivation that caused my relapse a few minutes ago and the thoughts of porn from the Streak-Related Trigger Strength hit a lot more frequently. For me, on attraction alone, a girl on a screen and an actual girl are one and the same. The both of them can be sexy as hell. So the further you get in the streak, the harder you'd bounce back due to this. And the worse thing about it?

I relapsed to a lesbian video ( since I also have the theory that masturbating to videos that feature a guy in some way also causes HOCD ) and it was NOT as unsastisfying as my previous relapse 40 days ago. This is bad. This is very bad. The motivation becomes even lower as PMOing starts to seem like it'll feel good again.

However, the reason why I called it "Pseudo" is because you still have things helping you. The more you abstain, the more you realize that your real life is just not worth it and you realize just how attractive women really are.

Binges

Oh boy. The big "no no" in NoFap and I agree to an extent. Binges are relapses that happen over a small amount of time. They can also be somebody looking at porn for a prolonged and unhealthy period of time. ( I say over an hour is really bad. )

My biggest binge was about... 4 relapses in 2 days, if I recall correctly. And oh man, oh man was it a nightmare. "HOCD" was triggered like crazy, I experienced bad headaches and my stomach hurt severely. However, since nothing is 100%, if you think about it, there is actually a GOOD thing about them, if you use them right.

Being in that pit of despair and disgust can motivate you like all hell for the next streak, but only if you let it. You can use that anger that you feel and direct it towards the next streak, reaching heights you've never even grazed before. But overall, AVOID BINGING. IT IS THE WORST.

Edging

Edging is masturbating without climaxing. This made a lot of my early streaks during my time in NoFap very dirty. In the morning, I'd lay in bed and hump my hand, fantasizing like crazy. To fix this, I simply stopped allowing my hand to touch myself in bed. Now edging is very easy to control and my fantasies don't do anything to me anymore.

Fantasizing

It should be obvious what this is, but just in case somebody that's new to everything here, say a 14 year old that joined, Fantasizing is when you think about sexual scenarios.

Let it be said that I, in no way, agree that fantasizing by itself, is bad. As an extremely imaginative person, I don't believe it is unhealthy to indulge in it. HOWEVER:

Fantasizing about porn is bad as that can be a trigger and it should not be something you should focus on. I say that fantasizing about any kind of woman other than a porn video is fine. This also includes fictitious characters. To me, women you know or have seen personally as well as an actress in a show or movie or women in a videogame are fine. I can control these fantasies with very little problem, which is why I allow it.

But if fantasizing about these things becomes a problem for you, it is only then I'd recommend avoiding that habit.

Wet Dreams

A lot of guys worry that orgasming to a wet dream is a relapse. It isn't. Relapse is intentional indulging in your addiction. That's it. A lot of guys seem to hate them, for some reason.

Personally, I haven't had too many sexual dreams. I've had a few, but none ended in an actual ejaculation. Where others see a curse, I see a blessing. They're very fun to experience.

Wet Dreams only cause a relapse if you relapse BECAUSE you had one. If you wake up before your wet dream is finished and you decide to M or PM to finish the urge you may have gotten from it ( I never did ), that's a relapse. You failed to do what everybody is doing. Resisting urges.


That is all of the phenomena I can think of for now.

Things People Say, Including Myself, To Justify Relapse

"I need to see if my dick works!"

It works. It's your mind that needs help.

"Oooh, shit, that pornstar released a new video!"

The end result will happen. You have reached the point you are at now, the you starting out wishing he was where you are. You relapse, you turn into that guy again. Wishing you were at the point the other guy was at just a few minutes ago. You'll be filled with regret, you'll have to clean up the mess, and you'll look at that video with disgust.

"Damn, I peeked. I might as well relapse."

I'm more lenient on peeking. The goal is to never try to do it, but no streak is going to be perfect. You're going to peek. You're going to be triggered. You're a man, fighting the thing he craves the most. That sweet release so many people, men and women alike, chase after. However, with porn and masturbation, it's important to know that you won't find it there.

Resisting the urge to relapse from peeking is a part of the process. However, ensure it does not happen too much. Better yet, at all. The point is to try. To really try. Failure will only be closer if you don't.

"I've come this far, surely it'll feel better."

And you may be right. The relapse I experienced an hour ago as of writing this did feel better. Maybe it was because I watched a video that I hadn't seen in a while that featured content I was always into. Maybe it was because I reached 40 days. But what feels good is completely different from what is good and that's what you need to understand.

"I've come this far, one relapse won't be that bad."

Again, you're right. One relapse is not the end of the world. But you are still setting yourself back. You are still playing with fire. This isn't a game. This is a real war with yourself. And right now, you're letting the addiction win.


"I give up. I can't take it anymore. I quit."

That's your choice, however, this means you accept that you aren't living your life to the fullest. You accept the way things are and you aren't interested in seeing them get better. I can personally say that they absolutely do get better. I'm homeschooled, rarely around girls, and I still saw benefits. If social activities escape you as well, not only will you recieve other benefits, but eventually, your social life will improve.

That is all I can think of for now.

The Purpose of NoFap

NoFap, to me, is not simply just ridding yourself of a porn/masturbation/sex addiction and everything in between. I say it is also about getting rid of bad habits and qualities within yourself, whether they be sex-related or not.

For example, I used to be pretty bad at math. So you know what I did? I downloaded a math app and I have been playing with it, doing the challenges for the past 7-8 months. Now? I'm pretty good at math.

I used to be incredibly stupid when it came to geography. For example, for some goddamn reason, I'd imagine that Indonesia was north of Canada. I know. I know. Laugh. I deserve it. So fucking stupid, right? Hell, I even forgot where China was. I know! I was truly a fool!

I hated this about myself, so I downloaded an app called World Maps for IOS ( AMAZING APP ) and well... let's just say I know way more than just where Indonesia and China are.

I also took on sightreading. I've always been pretty bad at it and now... well, I'm still not that great, but I am progressing slowly. We'll see where I am in about a year.

When I started NoFap, I was working out for about a year and a half. I used to be 129 pounds, but now I'm close to 180. I've been stuck at the 170-180 range for a long time, so when my next cycle hits on January 1st, it'll finally be time to break through it. Push-ups alone have greatly improved. Before, I could only do about 32 in three sets. Just recently, I hit 90 in 3 sets. 32 turned into one set. THAT'S the point of NoFap. To improve everything about yourself. That's how I see it.

And finally, I took on chess. For no reason. It just seemed fun. And it is.

Oy, I'm running out of topics. Let's see if there's anything else...

Motivational Items

Subscribe to Motiversity for great videos for motivation.

Right here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAPByrKU5-R1emswVlyH_-g

Watch the following video. It sends a good message.

Here:

I'm a music lover, so if you are too, listen to compositions and instrumental stuff. It really helps relax the mind. Do it when anything is triggered. Brain fog, urges, anxiety from "HOCD". You need to keep your mind calm. I've heard meditation helps immensely as well.

I believe that's it!



As I said, more will be added if I remember more. Thank you for taking the time to read about my victory. It may be small, but it is mine. I did end up tripping again which means this battle is far from over. But thanks to this streak, the folks here on NoFap, and all of my experiences since joining, let's hope future battles against porn get easier and easier!

Right now, the next goal is 60 DAYS HARDMODE. Think we can do it, boys? I KNOW I CAN.

Thanks for reading! And remember, don't fap! There is not even a modicum of worth in it.

 

Thank you! Same to you, my friend. Let's end this addiction!

 

Damn, one year of staying down? That's inconcievable. Holy hell.

Thanks for reading! Yeah, it is pretty damn big, but I wanted to touch on some things I haven't seen many talk about. For example, I can't find many posts on Reddit or here that talk about those that actually recovered from pro-longed brain fog as well as its triggers.

Your support is always appreciated, sir! But for now, it's time to focus on today, for I have spent a lot of time here on this website. Writing the whole thing out.

Tomorrow, it'll be time to support others like crazy! Here's to longer streaks!