40 days till i meet her, feel so anxious

StillAWarrior

StillAWarrior

Fapstronaut
Hey george here, im 12 years into heavy porn exposure and masturbating 3 times a day,2 years addicted into transexual porn i have been with girls before, in my 15 my first experince, amazing ! strong erection and cumed multiple times, second at 18 a relashionship, no foreplay used a condom still got an erection but never came, third a relashionship 19 not even get an erection, extremely anxious, the girl wasnt helping, fourth 20 a girl that i liked very much, i had strong erection 1,5 hours of making love but i didnt came.. Now.... I was heavy into transexual porn so i have much shame and guilt...and im very anxious abour performing.. im porn free 13 days, today i tried masturbating without porn, i couldnt get it up , only when i thinked about a transgendered person i got erect and came...13 days now i talk with this girl that i like very much, we have talked very sexual i like her very much and we had phone sex and while she was moaning i was very hard... i will meet her on August 28... but i still have anxiety and fear of not getting it up.. not perfoming well.. and im very ashamed of my past...do you think that i will get better ? what are your tips ?
 
Go hard mode (strictly no PMO, no sex, avoid fantasizing, etc.) for the 40 days until you meet her. Sorry, there's not really any easier way.
 
StillAWarrior said:
I will this is sure, but any tips or motivation?
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Cold showers, don't sleep naked, exercise, don't edge, don't fantasize, and remember you don't want to have to use P, M, or fantasy to perform with your woman. Having to fantasize about transsexuals while you are with your woman is completely unromantic and disrespectful. You want to connect with her as a person, not use her as essentially a masturbation aid.

Read the forums for success stories, and all the reboot logs for inspiration.
 
StillAWarrior said:
Thank you so much, i wouldn't ever do it i want to erase all my P past honestly, i don't know if it is possible
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Just out of curiosity, are you finding that your sexuality is changing in any way? is there a possibility of same sex attraction developing in you?

I'm really intrigued by people who have shaped their sexuality due to porn... there are many people here who have a similar story to yours who have slowly progressed to homosexual porn or transgendered person porn.

Would you ever consider actually sleeping with a transgendered person?
 
SolitaryScribe said:
Just out of curiosity, are you finding that your sexuality is changing in any way? is there a possibility of same sex attraction developing in you?

I'm really intrigued by people who have shaped their sexuality due to porn... there are many people here who have a similar story to yours who have slowly progressed to homosexual porn or transgendered person porn.

Would you ever consider actually sleeping with a transgendered person?
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I think another question that might help is, what kind of person can you see yourself being happily married to? Woman? Man? Trans? Some people think there are separate romantic and sexual orientations, though, but I'm not sure about that idea. If you can only see yourself marrying a woman, it's a good bet you're straight. Some scientific research actually shows that most men who watch trans porn are straight, strangely enough. I don't think most men who watch trans porn would actually be happy married to a trans person or to another man.
 
Jason_Tesla_19 said:
I think another question that might help is, what kind of person can you see yourself being happily married to? Woman? Man? Trans? Some people think there are separate romantic and sexual orientations, though, but I'm not sure about that idea. If you can only see yourself marrying a woman, it's a good bet you're straight. Some scientific research actually shows that most men who watch trans porn are straight, strangely enough. I don't think most men who watch trans porn would actually be happy married to a trans person or to another man.
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Well i answer to you both, honestly my trans thing developed via porn, i liked girls romantically from very young age i always had crushes on girls the moment i saw a pussy for my first time i got mad boner instantly.. i have researched for transgendered person porn on straight guys like me, it is the guilt, the shock, the dopamine hits of "i shouldn't watch this but i do" and this developed slowly but steadily for me, my low self esteem the free access to internet to watch Anything! It started with insest porn then hentai i watched loli porn readed loli erotica i even have watched bestiality (sorry to make you read all this but this is my confession) when you are erect and dopamine is full in your mind (along with some weed) i swear you don't have limits you do anything...the moment i camed the realization hits and i feel completely depressed and anxious, i can't look another person in the eyes even me...i swear guys this is like a heroine addiction for me...now i take steps on overcoming this behavior and i swear i will make it...so yes its not about transgendered person porn its about anything fucked up and abnormal to feed my lust with dopamine and guilt...i always imagined my self with a woman and i love them sexually and romantically, when im high on dopamine i have imagined all sort of things and if this lasted i was convincing myself that i like trans or little girls or my sister but all this is just lies from this horrible addiction..bare with me, i will loosen my burden
 
SolitaryScribe said:
Just out of curiosity, are you finding that your sexuality is changing in any way? is there a possibility of same sex attraction developing in you?
I'm really intrigued by people who have shaped their sexuality due to porn... there are many people here who have a similar story to yours who have slowly progressed to homosexual porn or transgendered person porn.

Would you ever consider actually sleeping with a transgendered person?
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Read my last comment
 
StillAWarrior said:
when im high on dopamine i have imagined all sort of things and if this lasted i was convincing myself that i like trans or little girls or my sister but all this is just lies from this horrible addiction..bare with me, i will loosen my burden
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This is understandable. Porn usually wears out our receptors and sensitivity, so in order to feel that same high we need stronger and stronger drugs... which in this case is anything sexually messed up. I've gone down that road too! thank God I stopped myself before it got worse.
 
SolitaryScribe said:
This is understandable. Porn usually wears out our receptors and sensitivity, so in order to feel that same high we need stronger and stronger drugs... which in this case is anything sexually messed up. I've gone down that road too! thank God I stopped myself before it got worse.
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Well i think i have walked this road far way... and even now that i have abstained im not sure if i gave did a permanent damage on my brain and my psychology...i wish that all of this horrible images will fadeby the time.
 
StillAWarrior said:
Well i think i have walked this road far way... and even now that i have abstained im not sure if i gave did a permanent damage on my brain and my psychology...i wish that all of this horrible images will fadeby the time.
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It does... the longer you abstain from porn, the more your brain will return back to normal. just keep at it! your going to face some difficult times, but trust me it's worth it in the end
 
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