410 days - forget about willpower

lol lvl 410

 

That doesn't gel with the reality I see around me - every day women choose men SOLELY as sex partners, and don't care about depth. I've spent the first four decades of my life BEING deep and it meaning NOTHING to women. 'Manliness' is something I steer clear of in general for two reasons; 1) the world tells me I'm not permitted to have the women I'm attracted to - rejection and humiliation has ended even trying, and 2), 'men' in general see me as a convenient puppy to kick. I am 'that guy' who got his head flushed down the toilet - to the point where I actually encouraged it rather than fight it. 'Men' have done as much to show what little worth I have in the world as women.

 

Based on your photo, I see you're young - probably young enough to be my child. I have never encountered women who wanted me to 'talk sexual' with them, and that includes former girlfriends, and my ex-wife. Whenever I felt confident enough to raise my interest ins something (rare to be sure), I was invariably told I no, and that I was wrong to want.

Yeah, let's just get a woman to have sex with me first... Having an actual relationship at the moment is a bit much - I'm working full-time, studying and work out 5 times a week.

Well, when you've been rejected as much as I have, I accept that ALL the blame lays on me. My anger at present is at people who tell me that NoFap increases confidence and attraction of women - I've been doing this since March, and had a streak of 7 MONTHS.... NOTHING! I don't do NoFap because I have a problem with porn - for me, quitting porn has been easy. Increased confidence and attraction to women? I can stop jerking off for that! The thing is, benefits DON'T EXIST! At 210 days I should have been ten foot tall, bulletproof and had women stopping me for conversations - if I go by what EVERY ONE ELSE writes! I really want to be proven wrong, I really do - but until I am, I'll continue to rage against the lies.

 

I think you got the wrong idea, or sunk into some fairy tale of the miracles nofap gives to people. Nofap does not increase confidence or attraction of women. Nofap (not indulging in constant masturbation/porn/orgasms) is supposed to help free your mind, allowing you to focus on yourself and to improve on yourself, which would result in an increase of self confidence.

Judging from what you've described: you work full time, you work out regularly, and you study. You seem to be in a pretty decent headspace at the moment. You just seem to have an issue with rejection/failure with women. Rejection is a very healthy feeling, it's a queue for us to look within to see what we need to refine, sometimes certain females just aren't interested or have someone else in mind. Dating is a competition, this isn't a buffet where anyone can pick what they want. Is it fair to say that maybe females you weren't interested in could have been giving you signs that they were interested in you? Pride is a 2 way street, maybe you were chasing with unrealistic expectations? Could be a variety of things.

I've said this before, but you have to enjoy life being single in order to show others you live a happy life. Friendships and relationships are mutual transactions: you offer something, they offer something in return. You need to have something to offer people if you want them to be around you, you also need to pick quality people who will appreciate what you have to give.

One last thing on manliness. You will have very little success in dating a female without some variant of manliness. It is the quintessential element in a man that, I believe, gives you a distinct advantage over others who cannot display manliness. What does it mean to be a man? It means to be strong, both mentally and physically, to stand your ground when challenged, to speak your mind when an issue arises. Not many males can do these things, but when a man does and a female observes? It fires up the loins. Dominant behavior is what females look for. Biology hasn't changed all that much for what attracts females, what works in the animal kingdom is still very relevant in human society, with a few other additions, but generally speaking.

Hope this was at least a little food for thought.

 

What an Awesome Post , Thanks Broda

 

I take exception with this. In my math class a few months ago, I challenged the instructor on how she was berating the class at times. She'd called us "slow" and "useless", to which I responded that given how she was treating us, she shouldn't be surprised that we were losing interest and falling behind. Not only did none of the females in the class 'respond positively', one female classmate became actively antagonistic towards me for the rest of the course. Post-course drinks had the classmate calm down a little, saying it's probably because we're both Type A personalities (I am NOT).

So no, when I speak up, women do not get turned on by it.

 

Huh??? So your female teacher was insulting everybody in your class and when you called her out on it to defend you and everybody else, other female classmates got pissed at you?

Geez, some people these days...

 

Pretty much. The teacher was two decades my senior, and the rest of the class two decades my junior (being a 40 year-old in a class of 18-22 year-olds enough outside my comfort zone?) There was only one classmate who was actively hostile, but everyone was giving me death stares as if I had shit my pants whilst snorting cocaine off the belly of an under-age hooker.

 

An exception to the rule does not disprove the rule.

Could it also be a possibility that you were wrong and the teacher was right? That your class just doesn't pay attention. We're only getting 1 side of a story and it's yours.

When I say challenge, I don't mean causing conflict with a figure of authority. You might as well be trying to impress a girl by trying to fight a cop.

 

I find this story to be quite odd. Not that I think you're lying or anything, but it is your point of view. When you had drinks with the classmate, did you find out why she was upset with you?

 

Remember that this is a success story in the success stories section.

 

I know this all too painfully well. It would seem that I am destined to serve as the exception. Great for everyone else, but can you blame me for being pissed off?

Fair comments, and I can admit that too often I come off as arrogant. The lecturer and I had a constructive discussion afterward - not to the point that it allayed my concerns, but 'useful' nonetheless. I had been raising concerns in class from the first week, both with the lecturer and the tutors, that I felt I wasn't getting the material. Every time I did so I was told that I was, and not to overthink it. My mid-course test and final exam were less than ideal (I did very poorly on the former, never saw the final score of the latter), so my concerns must have held some merit.

I wasn't raising these concerns in class to impress a girl. I was raising my concerns because they were my concerns. I wasn't speaking for the class. I observed how the class, including myself, had been treated, and felt a need to speak up rather than just put up with the words (like I've always done). Me challenging anyone or anything is akin to watching a shaved chihuahua acting as a guard dog - humourous for the observer and, when I have the sense of mind to analyse post-action, pointless and humiliating for me.

Nothing clearly, no. I could put forward a dozen different theories as to why, but at the end of the day, it's someone I'll probably never see again. Just using it as an example.

 

I'm sorry man, didn't understood that (I speak spanish), could you explain me what exactly you wanted to say?

 

And I agree with you. You can have a lot of willpower but if your environment keeps the same, you will be more susceptible to fail. It is desireable to work with the families of addicted people while they're treated, because what mkes addicts re-fall is that their environment is full of traps and temptations. I mean we can't change people but we can choose where to go, or wich people meet.

 

thank you for this man

real motivating

 

Perfect post! Thanks my friend!