42 days in and I don't know whats wrong with me????

[Jordyp1992]

I am 42 days into nofap. I have masturbated once, but not to porn as I was curious as to whether it was just the porn or the masturbation that was having an effect on me. I have had sex three times during these 42 days and I felt great after the sex, I wasn't sluggish or cloudy in my mind and I was not feeling down, or guilty.

I have had non stop urges for porn. I find myself looking at tinder and bumble but I have recently deleted them. But something has come up during this time and I feel on edge, my brain feels hazy and I am feeling stronger and stronger urges. I cant get out of this brain haze.

Any advice as to what this is 42 days in? is this a flatline or is this a response to the tinder and bumble browsing?

I also saw today that a famous pornstar died and I got the brain haze just by reading her death story online and looking at a few of her pictures that were attached to the news article.. What the fuck is going on with me??

 

[Roady]

Hi @Jordyp1992
Quitting porn is.... serious stuff.

You have to go through it, no matter what happens.
And you better quit all kind of porn. And substitutes.

Did you ever fapped to that pornstar?
(maybe it's better to remove her name, it may cause others a relapse....)

 

[vibemaker]

Browsing a lot on these dating apps causes brain fog and can cause low self-esteem, if you don't get the results you wish for. Looking at women constantly online slows down your reboot drastically. I recommend to quit these apps or to lower the time.

If you fapped to this pornstar and now look at a story and pictures of her this probably lead to a dopamine rush, that's why you feel this brain haze. Like @Roady said you should remove her name, because it can be very triggering for other rebooters, who know her.

Your 40 days in. That's great. Don't stop now. I experienced also a down around 40-60 days, then it got a lot better again. Stay strong!

 

[Jordyp1992]

Hi @Jordyp1992
Quitting porn is.... serious stuff.

You have to go through it, no matter what happens.
And you better quit all kind of porn. And substitutes.

Did you ever fapped to that pornstar?
(maybe it's better to remove her name, it may cause others a relapse....)

I actually never fapped to her once. I had seen her before, but never viewed any of her scenes. But i got that weird rush/brain haze just from reading about her death and it was so intense. I thought this shit would get easier with time. I think I need to get rid of all kinds of things that could potentially make me relapse. Although i have had urges and thoughts and have seen all these online images, i still will not masturbate. I have no urge to fap, but the brain fog and anxiety i get just from viewing the pictures is fucking insane, even after 42 days!

When does this kinda stuff or these reactions start to ease up?

 

[Jordyp1992]

Browsing a lot on these dating apps causes brain fog and can cause low self-esteem, if you don't get the results you wish for. Looking at women constantly online slows down your reboot drastically. I recommend to quit these apps or to lower the time.

If you fapped to this pornstar and now look at a story and pictures of her this probably lead to a dopamine rush, that's why you feel this brain haze. Like @Roady said you should remove her name, because it can be very triggering for other rebooters, who know her.

Your 40 days in. That's great. Don't stop now. I experienced also a down around 40-60 days, then it got a lot better again. Stay strong!

Thanks for the advice man! How long did this down phase last for you? This past week I have felt no need to want to interact with people and I have generally not felt too good. I think its the times where i don't feel good or bored that i get the urges, but i still haven't even come close to fapping.

I think one of the reasons I started NoFap was to try to increase my confidence and to see if it had an effect on woman and their attraction toward me, however I now feel that this is about myself and my journey and that I should do it on my own. I will not let women be the motivation for this change and I think it is time to finally connect to who I am instead of burying my feelings in distractions and in porn.

Peace man, thanks for the help!

 

[Roady]

I actually never fapped to her once. I had seen her before, but never viewed any of her scenes. But i got that weird rush/brain haze just from reading about her death and it was so intense. I thought this shit would get easier with time. I think I need to get rid of all kinds of things that could potentially make me relapse.

That would be a very good idea.
Stop harass yourself please.

 

[vibemaker]

How long did this down phase last for you?

Hard to say. During my first reboot I experienced a lot of intense highs & downs. Between 40 and 100 days there were a lot of downs that sometimes lasted for 4 days, then I felt better for a while, sometimes even euphoric and suddenly I was depressed again. (So this phase lasted for about 2 months for me, the good day/bad day ratio probably was about 40/60)
Giving up pornography is somehow like losing a friend that has been on your side for a very long time, even if it was a very toxic one, the connection will be missed. The break-up will bring a lot of feelings to the surface, that have been numbed so long. But it's important to let them show up and heal.

 

[Jordyp1992]

Between 40 and 100 days there were a lot of downs that sometimes lasted for 4 days, then I felt better for a while, sometimes even euphoric and suddenly I was depressed again. (So this phase lasted for about 2 months for me, the good day/bad day ratio probably was about 40/60)

It seems to have been on going for 6 days straight now and I feel very on edge and I feel more anxiety in these days, but I am trying to do exactly what you advised; to just deal with the emotions when they arise and delve into them, instead of hiding from them.

Hopefully this phase will ease up