The last streak lasted 17 days, then i relapsed. I hated myself and everything, started to use M and P as an outlet for my frustration. But then, 44 days ago, i discovered the NoFap community, and created this account. Thanks some people on this community, i gained a lot of motivation to finally set and end my p. addiction. Over the last 42 days i learnt a lot about myself and my surroundings, emotions and the things in life that should be appreciated. I have to add, that this is not the first time i went over a month without PM, as i had a streak last year, which lasted two and a half months. Now i finally again did 37 days without PM, but at day 38, i really wanted to M, i was sure it would feel better, and would give me some hint in which direction everything should go next. After i masturbated, i did not any stress-relief or anything, i did not feel anything. Also i have to add that i did not ejaculate, this may be the main reason i did not feel anything. After that i thought, maybe i should masturbate, without P, every 38 days, before i get trapped in P addiction, but i will not do that, since it does not bring me any pleasure, satisfaction or whatsoever. I also considered a addiction shift since the day i started this streak, but i know this is not the way to do it/ to overcome my P addiction. Now some things that achieved during my streak up until this point: 1. I am able to hold eye contact with both female and male persons as well as starting and holding conversations, although is still have to work on last. Before, i was not able to do that. 2. Enjoying the things in life that really matter to me, like nature and music. 3. Less stress when around people, because i am more confident in myself and could not care less about the dumb things people do/ say out there. Of course, 42 is nothing compared to the huge journey life is, however i am confident that i can end the things that are holding me back, although it may take a while. I always try to look at everything from a rational and scientific point, the same applies to NoFap. I consider my NoFap experience like a scientific experiment. This text turned out a lot longer than i intended it to be, also i apologize for any misspellings, since English is not my native/first language. Stay strong people, the journey is long.