42 year old weakness

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Aiding78, Feb 22, 2020.

  1. Aiding78

    Aiding78 New Fapstronaut

    Good morning everyone.

    I was fortunate enough to came across NOFAP site this morning and read about other souls issues that I can relate myself to.

    I little background about myself. I'm a 42 year old male, been constantly masturbating since I discovered this flash pleasure sensation when I was a child. I AM A PORN AND MASTURBATING ADDICT. There so many thoughts going through my head right now, as I'm laying at the guess room, trying to analyze myself. Reflecting on what if or what would have been dozen of thoughts.

    I have no childrens and have a steady girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with a wonderful female that is -100 interested in sex. Which in part, I should be taking advantage of. Since it help not having the pressure to engage in sexual activity. It is bad and good you might say.

    I am, or atleas have been for all of these year. Of the opinion that masturbating an failing to sleep like a baby post masturbating, keep me out of trouble from engaging in sexual act with the wrong person and having to be out there hunting for a sex partner. Then I met my girlfriend and desperately tried to have her engage in porn type of activity sexual encounter. Lucky for I guess, she hold true to her principles and didn't even gave it a try. Almost costing me our relationship.

    I ask myself, did this religious bad habit is the reason why I didn't accomplished the regular Joe wife and kids family protocol that humans automatically grown to? Could I have accomplished 1000 more that what I am today? I will never know, but one thing for sure, is the fact that I want to quit.

    I want my last 20-30 on this planet to be full of energy and self-control. My sexal relationship with my girlfriend is next to nothing. She doesn't and have never engage in oral sexual encounter and other sexal activity between us that are desire by most males. I haven't breakup the relationship, because she is one of a kind when it come to been a great person, which I will never give up over sexal activity desire.

    Please express your opinion on why do doctors said that masturbating is healthy for you, since post masturbation you feel drained and pretty worthless to do any outside activity till you properly recover from this act? My guess is that is just another way to keep people sick and going back to their income generator machine.

    Girls/Guys, I hope that I can pull through and find the support I need on this problem that have dictated my life for the past at least 30 years. Thanks.
    Ceekay and Metis07 like this.
  2. DrabToLight

    DrabToLight Fapstronaut


    I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator superpowers and no special insight. I share my experience.

    Just another warm welcome and a heartfelt hello. This community has helped me so much.

    What works for me is "working" it.

    First, I read the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

    Then, do the work such as writing in my journal.

    Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found fellowship on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

    That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.
    Ceekay likes this.
  3. Life's Journey

    Life's Journey Fapstronaut

    Hi Aiding78, welcome here, and wishing you loads of strength and good luck in your journey to quit PMO. DrabToLight already gives some useful pointers for you to start with, such as getting involved in the community. Also, try to introduce new habits to replace your old ones. You can do it!
    Ceekay likes this.
  4. Hi there... :)
    Welcome to the community!
    Success comes to those who strive for it. I’m sure you’ll be successful in your goals one day.
    Good luck!
    Ceekay likes this.
  5. Hey, welcome to the NoFap community : )

    It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Allow me to go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:
    Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button / Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ Accountability groups (new!) / About NoFap/ Support NoFap

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.
    Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
    The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
    People will find your profile and give you support.
    There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
    We support one another in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
    Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

    Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate section for you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
  6. Welcome! You found the place (and the people) that helped me beating my porn addiction.

    Some thoughts. You mention masturbation. This is a subject you find many opinions on. My opinion is that once-in-a-while masturbation is not wrong. What is wrong is masturbating to porn (or other stimuli). It's a vicious cycle. Very quickly you are not excited but just need the fix, so p, so m.
    I also find this to be true in my own experience quitting p. Once the urge to watch p was gone, so was the urge to masturbate. I did not expect that! Happy with it though.

    About having it on with the misses, remember you are heavily influenced by porn. What you now think of as normal and satisfactory isn't normal not does it satisfy. To find what does, you might need a few months of sexual sobriety. That's tough but it works. And a year later you're like 'that 2-3 months was NOTHING :)
    Also, sexual sobriety can repair damage to the relationship. Partners very often feel there is something wrong and they thing it's them. But it is you. Tell them it's you and you are doing something about it. It will bring everything to the bottom of the well but now the only way is up. You rebuild the relation, rebuild yourself, rebuild trust, intimacy and .. your life. Sounds heavy but it's fun to see yourself getting things fixed, done. We will never be gods be we can accomplish a lot.

    I wish you a successful recovery from this addiction and a happy life.
    Ceekay likes this.
  7. The Free Bird

    The Free Bird Fapstronaut

    Hi, welcome to the community

    I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

    Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

    It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc.

    This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

    ֍ You got this my friend ֍

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