46yo married male looking for AP. Day 3 of 90 day PM challenge.

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by ChuckIt, Nov 13, 2016.

  1. Jim218

    Jim218 Fapstronaut

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    I am starting at day one again. Made it a week. I am a 49yo male who is engaged and a Christian. I know the struggles your having and would appreciate having an AP myself. Looks like you have had quite a few offers, but would be willing to help.
     
  2. Kingofrighteousness

    Kingofrighteousness Fapstronaut

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    I am 22 years old i am enjoying my freedom from this habit,i can help you but here is my point
    The more you try to avoid it the stronger your desire to do it
    And that's why i stop struggling and counting my days like idiots here
     
  3. Harald

    Harald Fapstronaut

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    Dear Kingofrightiousness: Well put. Counting days of streaks and hoping to be cured is indeed idiotic. I documented in this thread a respectable streak and actually made it to 109 days. Then lapsed, had a few week long streaks, then went back to daily. Now I'm back at a week. But the count is not keeping me honest or making me dwell on it or tempting me. What is keeping me going is the vision of a better me. The count is just a scorecard. It helps me understand myself. Like if someone is overweight it is helpful to log the food to realize that, yes, they overeat. Brains zone out after fapping. It makes them temporarily happy, complacent and ignorant. We have to hold up that mirror to acknowledge reality. Being a fapping loser is easy. Connecting the dots is hard. My business classes taught me that we can only manage what we measure. If something is not measured and recorded then IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. It becomes nearly impossible to modify and improve our actions when our judgment is clouded in the hazy memory of brain fog, emotions, and the ongoing pressures that drove us to that behavior. When we record our failures and successes we will begin to be able to see the big picture and begin to manage ourselves. Instead of just monitoring streaks it is a good idea to monitor all PMOs and what triggers them. Once we realize that relapses are merely potholes along the road to recovery rather than abject failure then we can keep moving forward. I keep notations on my phone calendar. It's an eye opener to see the patterns and understand myself without judgements or regrets. It is a much kinder and healthy exercise for the psyche. Best of luck.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2017

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