5 Months in - Young married couple going through challanges

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by purplehalo, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. purplehalo

    purplehalo New Fapstronaut

    I recently posted a thread about 3 months ago regarding my progress.
    Here is the link below if you are interested:


    In the 4 months I've been abstaining from porn I have relapsed twice, which let to really big arguments between my wife and I. I was doing pretty solid at first. I was on 140 days until I relapsed. One time was with porn the other was without. Since the last relapse, our sex life has been going downhill. I can't seem to get to O. When I relapsed both times however, I climaxed no problem. My wife thinks that I'm losing interest in her, and on our way back from Switzerland, she said she's losing feelings from me.

    I don't blame her.

    Since the last relapse I've been the most depressed I've ever been in my life. Getting out of bed to go to work is starting to become a chore. I haven't exercised in months. I've lost 15 pounds because I never eat. All I do is sit on the couch for hours and sleep. My performance at work (currently serving in the USAF) has gone downhill. I feel like I have no drive in my life, my marriage is crumbling so fast, and my wife and I are losing ourselves through all of this. None of this is my wife's fault. She's been with me since the very beginning of our journey almost three years ago. We we're apart for a long time while I was away at basic training and my tour here in Europe, and right when we crossed the threshold into our marriage, all of the lies came out.

    I've been a real slob over the past few months and my wife has given me many opportunities to change but I just keep slipping up. We have our good moments of course, but I have a habit of being very defensive and insensitive to the people I care about mosts, therefore pushing them away. It's almost as if I do it unconsciously. I think sometimes I'm just lost in my own little world. My wife has told me that the time to change and take of the blinders is now, because like I said earlier, she has started to lose feelings for me. She still love me deeply, and no other person in this world cares for me as much as her, but she's had enough.

    We're not in the position to get a divorce, I think I should make that clear. However, there are some roads that there are no coming back from.

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