50 days - a half century

The Road of Sanctification said:
Long time no fapper who fell away after a long downward spiral.

50 days ago, a family friend walked in on me masturbating. She told my wife. The shame nearly killed me.

I have got to 50 Days PMO free at the first time of asking.

Happy to answer any questions.
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Ooof man that’s rough, glad you were able to boss up and get past that moment. How are you feeling now? How did you deal with that shame you felt?
 
2MuchSauce916 said:
Ooof man that’s rough, glad you were able to boss up and get past that moment. How are you feeling now? How did you deal with that shame you felt?
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Thanks 2Much.

The first two to four weeks were extremely awkward in our home. But having good conversations with honesty with my wife led to forgiveness.

To be honest, I think the freshness of the shame has really motivated me to the first 50 days. I know that is an unpopular opinion in nofap. Many here will say shame is always bad. I agree that we must overcome shame to be open and transparent about our battles. But far to often I think what many people here promote with their anti shame rhetoric is shamelessness. This leads to indifference which leads to relapse.
 
The Road of Sanctification said:
Thanks 2Much.

The first two to four weeks were extremely awkward in our home. But having good conversations with honesty with my wife led to forgiveness.

To be honest, I think the freshness of the shame has really motivated me to the first 50 days. I know that is an unpopular opinion in nofap. Many here will say shame is always bad. I agree that we must overcome shame to be open and transparent about our battles. But far to often I think what many people here promote with their anti shame rhetoric is shamelessness. This leads to indifference which leads to relapse.
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Man that’s impressive man good job getting past this and having a good wife to still stay and support you despite the awkwardness, that would a be rock bottom moment if it happened to me.

Yeah shame can be motivation but it’s an extremely fine line to walk though
 
An update. I am now on Day 71
The pattern I have observed so far.
Day 1-3: Difficult. Lots of urges. blue balls chaser effect. But the shame of having my dirty habit exposed drove me to the first three days quite easy.
Day 4-10: Urges but not to the same degree as the first couple of days. My motivation was more set as i knew i had the makings of a streak to protect.
Day 11-30: Flatline. no urges. flaccid penis. Almost was tempted to try MO to see if it was still working.
Day 30-40: Came out of the flatline. Had urges but not at the same frequency or intensity as before NoFap.
Day 41 till now. Few urges. Better clarity and productivity. Only urges come at night in the early morning. I have enough self awareness to not feed the monster.

All in all, I want to stress how big the first two weeks are. It gets considerably easier after that.
 
The Road of Sanctification said:
An update. I am now on Day 71
The pattern I have observed so far.
Day 1-3: Difficult. Lots of urges. blue balls chaser effect. But the shame of having my dirty habit exposed drove me to the first three days quite easy.
Day 4-10: Urges but not to the same degree as the first couple of days. My motivation was more set as i knew i had the makings of a streak to protect.
Day 11-30: Flatline. no urges. flaccid penis. Almost was tempted to try MO to see if it was still working.
Day 30-40: Came out of the flatline. Had urges but not at the same frequency or intensity as before NoFap.
Day 41 till now. Few urges. Better clarity and productivity. Only urges come at night in the early morning. I have enough self awareness to not feed the monster.

All in all, I want to stress how big the first two weeks are. It gets considerably easier after that.
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Good job man, any withdrawal symptoms?
 
2MuchSauce916 said:
Any other changes? Good job btw!
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I suffered PIED which impeded my sexual performance, also porn washed out my motivation system, all other part of my life were good before quitting.
I have been single and sexually inactive for many months, so there is no empirical data to suggest if it lessen or not.
I observe no other magic, but more hot women caught my attention.
 
I’m at day 14, and I don’t feel any symptoms apart from aggravated prostatis and I almost went to the doctor and confessed the deed fearing for my health, until I remembered that it’s just a withdrawal symptom.
Last time, I went for about 20 days and the aggravation and urine pain was still there, I wonder how long it’d take to go.
Apart from this, no urges except right when I wake up from sleep, just aggravation that’s hard to cope with.
I’m confident I’m done with PMO once and for all, I just need to soothe this pain and figure out when it’s over.
 
hmmm. what does the doctor say? Physical pain should has little to do with porn, and you might need medical attention.

i wish you luck and strength.
 
I didn’t have the guts to tell the doc, but today it’s much better, and it’s been getting better day by day
 
Right now, the main issue’s the hardness and pressure needed to urinate, but hopefully it goes in a few days.

I hope you brothers and I make out of this alive and as the best versions of ourselves
 
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