50 Days without PMO. Never thought I'd be here

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by 141:4-5, Oct 31, 2020.

  1. 141:4-5

    141:4-5 Fapstronaut

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    50 days down! I never thought I'd be at this point. I owe this all to my beautiful fiance for never giving up on me. I'll be honest, I've been dragging lately. My energy has declined and I'm looking for a boost. I don't know if this is due to a flatline, or if this is because of genuinely being so busy lately. I've been working 60+ hours a week preparing to close on a house in January, and also preparing for my wedding that's coming up very very soon. My calendar looks like a messy game of battleship.

    A few positives I've found from this:

    - I feel closer to God now, and feel that he is forgiving me, and truly watching over me again.
    - My Fiancé and I have never felt closer. I see her more intimately than ever before. I truly understand loving someone more every day.
    - I wake up feeling like I've slept, instead of waking up feeling like I barely closed my eyes.
    - My conscience feels clearer than ever before. I feel guilty for all that I've watched, but I feel that it's finally out in the open.
    - I just cleared out all of my personal debt as of today too! So now all my savings will go to the new home!

    Thank you all for your kind words in my previous posts. I hope all is well with everyone else's adventures. I look forward to the future more than ever.
     
  2. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Well done brother! With the approach u are having and the way u are moving forward you will make it..... I am sure.....

    One thing I have observed here is that, only abstaining from PMOing doesn't make much difference. Since PMoing is not cause in itself but a symptom for larger life issues. For people here other issues like loneliness, isolation, not up to mark life career eycare not resolved. Hence unless main causes are not adrrssed then it it is not going to help. Many people complain that after this much streak they does see much different.

    But you will make it for sure. Thanks brother. Can you share aowm tips... Iam m in my dangerous week ie 3rd week. I failed in tis phase. Which I don't want now....
     
  3. 141:4-5

    141:4-5 Fapstronaut

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    I absolutely agree. A big issue with myself was that I never learned to truly manage my emotions in times of personal struggle. I wanted to be numb instead of letting them pass. So I am actively working to understand that having emotions is not a bad thing.

    A few things I've done to defeat temptation are,
    - Having my partner aware of my addiction so that im held accountable by her. The thought of disappointing her is overwhelming, especially now that everything is out in the open and she knows all
    - I stopped bringing my phone with me when I am in the bathroom. This is where I have most of my temptations, and where I used to use. I force myself to leave it and all device out of the bathroom and I let the urges pass
    - I deleted almost all social media. No more instagram, snapchat, etc. None except a little bit of Facebook. I unfriended anyone who would share anything that would spark temptation, and I unfollowed groups that posted anything that would spark temptation.
    - I set screen time limits on my phone so that if something like Facebook (or anything unproductive or resourceful) is opened for more than 30 minutes a day, it locks me out. This limits my time online and forces me to be in reality.

    I hope some of these ideas help!
     
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  4. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on 50 days! I am now a few hours away from my own 50-day threshold, too. I celebrate with you.

    Please know that the least of our problems, in fact no problem at all, was God's forgiveness. God already forgave us while we were still down and out and when we felt loss and unable to continue. He isn't just starting to forgive us now because we're succeeding. We are succeeding now because of the grace and forgiveness He already provided us back then and before that even. He waited for the moment to be right for us to embrace it.

    Best wishes!

    .
     
    ALPHAandOMEGA likes this.
  5. 141:4-5

    141:4-5 Fapstronaut

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    I love this. I agree with you. I truly feel like I blocked God out of my life because I felt undeserving, shame, disgust, and a lot of other adjectives. The moment I opened up to my fiance, behind all of the fear, I felt like God was next to me for the first time in a long time. I felt like he had his hand on my shoulder through all the terror. I felt him. Thank you for your words!
     
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  6. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Yes, your eyes were opened to what's been there for you all along. When the sun shines, we can choose to block out its rays with a wide-opened black umbrella. However, that doesn't mean that the sun is no longer shining on us. We have to choose to let the umbrella down to receive what's been there all along.
     
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