538 days. Extremism vs naturality in NoFap

modern milarepa

modern milarepa

Fapstronaut
Current streak: 538 days no PMO, semen retention

NoFap can fall into an extremist mentality the name say it all “NO” “FAP”. Its extreme it implies you should not do it.

Whenever I used to be in a difficult situation my response was to go to an extreme mentality: no sex, no women, no this no that; or going to the other extreme “I’ll just let my mind free and do whatever it pleases, I’ll chase pleasure” or to a surreal state of impartiality “no happiness and no pain, nothing is real”. Everything that is extreme seems appealing, edgy and powerful. But in real life is unnatural, weak and unsustainable in the long run.

We even have the monk or hell mode: which some take as a form of torture and ego destruction, monks are extreme. Others have a hedonistic approach to life and that is where addiction comes to place.

I’m not saying you should not follow some rules or constructs but don’t be a blind slave, create a false identity base on it and start to denigrate and see others as inferior or wrong because they don’t share your same believe system.

See cats, they simply wander here and there, they rest at full ease and joy by simply existing, following their nature and simply by being themselves they are magical and fascinating creatures.
I believe if you are in touch with your real self, without so many ideas in your head, you find the path to wisdom and full realization.

How do we do this? Opening yourself to the world, to others, not forcing anything, trusting in your guts, letting go rigid ideas, accepting who you are. The more I do this the more easy my streak becomes, the answer it’s not creating rigid rules and closing yourself to the world but being open, relaxed and natural that way you succeed.

Conclusion: forget about extreme mentality, simply be yourself, believe and flow with your true nature which is pure bliss.
 
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I think that is were many of us fail often times.
We fall back into old habits, feel ashamed, get disgusted with ourselves and as a protective reaction we try to be even stronger, harder, better, faster next time which is bound to fail and this vicious cycle strenghtens itself.
Instead one could take a step back, breathe, see were it went wrong, understand oneself and the empotions involved and strategize the appropriate steps with a calm mind.
 
Naturality forever, all extremes lead to nothing, the virtue is in the middle, a virtous and elevated middle.

Hell mode? I prefer Heaven mode haha.

Very true this part, I know a lot people that did nofap with extremist mindset and turned in idiots, thinking that they are superior people simply because they dont pmo and others do. The correct way to think is to help these people and have humility.

Discovering the other and have a "foot on ground" mindset
 
It’s one of those posts by you @modern milarepa where deep inside you sense that it’s the truth but there are times where I ‘forget’ about my inner truth / things I know intuitively because the ego or the society’s culture can blur that wisdom, or I somehow just lose clarity.

And this thread also needs an important side node.

If people have bad habits, like PMO or smoking for example this cannot apply to them, because the body will automatically grab the cigs or PMO, you need then some mental fortitude to change the course of action that your body would subconsciously choose to do. In that case moving along with your natural flow is not an option because the natural flow takes you to the same toxic behaviour.

That’s why I use a heavily restricted phone so I don’t even think about fapping. Since implementing that I can reach longer streaks without even thinking about fapping because it’s simply not an option. This way I am trying to subconsciously change the body so that it’s no longer used to fapping. And it seems to be working.
 
PrioritySystem said:
And it seems to be working.
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Discipline and no distractions is a form of freedom. It's a natural expression of our true nature. It's a good rule you are having there even if it's not natural now it will be. Just don't create unnecessary tension because of it or some type of inflated ego based on your rules and achievements.
 
You can do something extreme in a natural way or you can do it in a forced, egotistical, prideful way.

You can be a winner and humble, relaxed about it or a winner that is always tense and worried about winning that denigrates and sees everyone around him as inferior.
 
Monk mode is the best as I discovered. Since feeling much closer to God after leaving FB. Problem with social media and YT, IG etc. is that they use pretty much the same algorithm - young beautiful girls are shown first, whoever is poor, no so beautiful or disabled are hidden. That partially explains high depression rates nowadays since people think that everyone else is doing better than they. Also for recovering addict its pretty hard not to lust with eyes by not clicking on that beautiful girl profile etc. Could say a lot more but in short as less internet you use as more happier you will be and more time you will have for real life productivity..
 
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pcmaster said:
since people think that everyone else is doing better than they
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I was never much into Fb, Ig and the like but still felt that way all the time. I think it's part of the human condition too without these sites, that as soon as youre an outcast and get dealt some shitty cards in life, its easy to get that cognitive bias.
But learning gratitude, humor and making the absolute best of any situation, as well as learning about supposed succesful people and how they might be broken inside can help. Not everyone of course.

I agree tho that limiting ones daily internet access is just as necessary esp. since it correlates a lot with porn addiction and might just become your methadone instead of facing the underlying issues.
(says the guy whos just been 3 hours on netflix while procrastinating on some important stuff :D I need to get out right now!)
 
E31 said:
I was never much into Fb, Ig and the like but still felt that way all the time. I think it's part of the human condition too without these sites, that as soon as youre an outcast and get dealt some shitty cards in life, its easy to get that cognitive bias.
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Well, man that is also algorthm of life. - Old people ussualy sits at home, women after 40 are almost invisiblez you notice young beautiful girls on the street. Disabled people too usualy sits at home, you dont notice ugly cars hit notice expensive cars. In grocery shop expensive stuff is in the level of eyes and cheap stuff are down u der the knees almost on the floor where no one looks. We live in the world where people mostly see what others want them to see.

Also talking about netfix and YT, I think they have similar time stealing algorythm - they show more videos in what you are interested the most, so its hard to stop without hard willpower and strick time managment.
 
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pcmaster said:
so its hard to stop without hard willpower and strick time managment.
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depends, tools like "df youtube" or "leech block" can make life on yt pretty easy without having to use up willpower, allowing you to only get what you specifically search for and restricting time of use.
And 80% of netflix is garbage so that doesn't hold me there for extended periods of time :D. On occasion it can be good to cut yourself some slack tho as long as one is aware of said mechanisms.
 
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