55 year old man needs help with stopping PMO

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by slowswimmer, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. slowswimmer

    slowswimmer New Fapstronaut

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    Hi! I am in day four of No-fapping, or not doing PMO, and I must admit it is rather scary for me. What with the hot weather here and the windows open I hear everything that is going on around me and although I feel like using I don't think I will, at least today, and definitely not with the windows open. I am 55 and have been doing PMO since I was 13. That is 42 years wasted doing that and I am willing to spend the time to learn something else to do with my life. I have accomplished many things in my life but because of my social status here, which I feel is low, I don't feel accomplished, even though I have a college degree and am learning Spanish and web development. I still feel unfulfilled and that is why I often go into porn usage. I have abusive neighbors and I never say anything to them about their actions. Totally co-dependent relationships here. I would like to go out more and explore the world, but am afraid to. I was arrested in 2008 for talking to a minor in a restroom but the charges were later dropped. This is mostly my introduction to you, fellow members of NoFap. I hope that everyone else is doing well. (Why didn't I say that in my first line?)
     
  2. Welcome! Everyone here knows the pain of feeling like hours, days, and entire lives have been wasted in pursuit of PMO. Congrats on the four days. that's twice as much as I have right now. But, we're in this together, all of us!
     
  3. Nerdman

    Nerdman Fapstronaut

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    Change starts from with in. Doing NoFap is a great start to turn your life around. Soon you'll get more motivated to change other things in your life to your benefit. Best of luck!
     
  4. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome slowswimmer! As you can hear, you're not alone. You've joined NF & are actually looking to stay clean from PMO - that's more than most porn users can say right now, sadly.

    Where we are right now, walking life's path, all we have to do is change our direction by 1 degree. If we do that & we keep walking, a year from now we will end up in a totally different place than we would have done otherwise.

    It's a common trait for addicts to neglect doing the basics for a healthy life, so those are always good things to do an honest check-list of - what we're eating, exercise levels, how much sleep we're getting, how much we're getting out to be in nature, with friends etc.

    You're learning Spanish & web development - that's excellent. Anxiety, tiredness, anger, depression - these are some of the key things that fuel our PMO habit. Getting the basics more together is a big part of overcoming this - I'm only on day 7, largely because I let them slip.

    If you haven't done them already, I would suggest you do the "Three Circle" exercise. The more we can understand our own landscape - what brings us joy, feeling connected etc, what are our particular risk factors that can lead to PMO - the better our chances of kicking the habit for good.

    For what it's worth, some things I'd suggest would be:

    Find an accountability partner on here.
    Avoid becoming isolated at home - get out for regular, daily walks.
    Do the 3 circles.
    Do an inventory on your eating & drinking/sleeping/exercise habits & make some + changes.
    Go easy on yourself.

    Life is about growth, not perfection.

    Together, we can do this!

    T22.
     
  5. oreogirl

    oreogirl Fapstronaut

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    Oh, my husband of 19 years is a lifer too, got to look forward, can't fix the past. He is on day 21 and feeling amazing, not all good feelings, but feeling at all has transformed him. He is such a special person, and I am sure you are too. Dragging yourself out of this dark hole is so hard, keep your head up, better times ahead.
    Get outside, hard to be in that dark place outside, looking at the stars has helped us these past days. Good luck
     
  6. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Keep swimming slowswimmer!
     

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