550 days !!!

G

garybeer54

Fapstronaut
Hi guys, just wanted to share my progress with you.

I started on this platform around 2018, when I couldn't put a 2 day streak together. I didn't realise how detrimental PMO was. It messed with my brain, my mental wellbeing and of course my dating life. I just wanted to share my story so far with you all. Since I started trying to leave this addiction behind, I have had different streaks of being clean, ranging from 3 days to the one I am currently on of 550 days. I also want to say I have had quite a few embarrassing experiences that really made me want to fix this, I suffered big time with PIED and low libido. It has been TOUGH, but my god it's worth it.

Things of note that helped me:
  • keep busy in whatever way you can, this really helps to reduce urges
  • try to explore connections in your dating life (if the opportunity presents and you are ready)
  • 90 days clean was the required time for me to being able to intimate
  • MO and looking at tempting pictures is quite detrimental, but not as bad as PMO
  • being intimate with a partner you trust are attracted to is SO much better than anything you can watch on a screen
  • sometimes it's best to be honest with people you trust
  • try and figure out what your triggers are and try and create healthy coping mechanisms - personally mine were feeling lonely and dejected, spending too much time on social media and being hungover
  • I read it takes 21 days to build a habit, I tried to start with this and build on this foundation
  • I remember seeing pictures that I didn't intend too, such as a scene in a scene in a movie, I realised this isn't breaking your streak, but can be a trigger
  • the first 2 weeks were always the HARDEST, it's about winning the daily battle
  • it's easier said then done but when you have a connection / partner, the days fly by
  • keeping a record of the days really helped me, I tried not to focus on this too much but it's a great measure of your journey - I kept my lower streaks on there and noted how I felt after (suicidal) to try and ensure I wouldn't fall back into that trap
  • figure out what works for YOU - I read a lot of information on here and tried to pick and choose what would work for me
  • you will learn so much on the recovery journey about do's and dont's - try to record any tips, like a self-help journal
The one thing that sticks with me, is this addiction is gonna be with me for life. I've spent a lot of time accepting that and understanding how to cope with what I have developed. I've experienced heartbreak, many ups and downs, if there one thing I've learnt is this makes you one resilient bastard. My future goals are to keep going with the streak and hope this presents me with the opportunity to meet whoever fate decides !

I know that's probably a lot of reading lol, but I just wanted to share my experience. Stay strong people, there is hope for us all :)
 
kenshin81 said:
I'd like to know how much time did it take to you to quit the flatline and regain your libido back/fix the pied, and if these effects were gradual or you had a significant change in a couple of days. Thanks.
Click to expand...

No worries ! I would say it really depends. Definitely not a couple of days for me, I was PMO'ing for over 8 years, hence I needed a good amount of recovery time. I met my ex when I did 95 days cold turkey and managed to be intimate with her with no PIED at all, we had sex 5 times that night, it was truly crazy to me. The state I was in before this, I genuinely sometimes had lost hope that this was even possible. I would say I'm quite sociable and go out a lot, so when we went on dates, we used to drink quite a bit of alcohol. For me, that really helped to last longer and not put pressure on myself, but I'm not recommending it as that can transfer your addiction from one thing to another. There was a significant problem with PE when sober, but being honest and explaining why it was the case helped ease pressures of this. And after a like a month or so this went away with practice !

A couple things of note along the journey, the days WERE NOT linear, one day it would feel amazing I would feel really ready, but others the flatline really kicked in. This can be demotivating at times, but for me I knew if I did the 90 days cold turkey, it would give myself the best shot of recovery. The temptations to go back into the old ways was so crazy, but building willpower and resilience is what I tried to focus on. There have been times when I have MO'd without P and that did set back my recovery, I would say an extra 30-50 days potentially. I also had quite a lot of wet dreams, which I used to hate, but they are a good sign of recovery. And I think from what I have read on this platform there are varying lengths of recovery time depending on addiction severity, age, lifestyle etc. So I think ultimately recovery time will be dependant on this. But for all those trying to recover, 90 days cold turkey definitely gives you a good shot, in my opinion !
 
What do you recommend for single people with no relationship or intimacy prospects?
Have you found a healthy way to relieve stress?
I can only think of physical exercise and the gym.
 
Congratulations, that is inspirational. Did any spiritual practices help you, like praying to Jesus? Did you ever try fasting?

For me, those 2 were essential in helping me on older streaks.
 
blue-sky-900 said:
What do you recommend for single people with no relationship or intimacy prospects?
Have you found a healthy way to relieve stress?
I can only think of physical exercise and the gym.
Click to expand...

There have been quite a few times where I have been single with no intimacy prospects during my various streaks and to be honest with you, these are the hardest times to get through in my opinion. It is TOUGH, but you have to be resilient. For me, I try to look forward to things in future and set smaller goals when this is the case. Also, like you have said putting your energy into other things really helps. I did this with my social life (friends & family), exercise and work. I have to keep myself really busy.

That being said it is the most challenging thing when you are horny as hell and there's no intimacy prospects. There are of course more urges when this is the case. I am currently at this stage now and finding it difficult. But I know at some point in future that'll change. I guess that's what I use for motivation.
 
usualwhom321 said:
Congratulations, that is inspirational. Did any spiritual practices help you, like praying to Jesus? Did you ever try fasting?

For me, those 2 were essential in helping me on older streaks.
Click to expand...

Yes, I do believe in God, so praying and believing their was a higher power guiding me throughout my recovery is a helpful thought.
 
garybeer54 said:
Hi guys, just wanted to share my progress with you.

I started on this platform around 2018, when I couldn't put a 2 day streak together. I didn't realise how detrimental PMO was. It messed with my brain, my mental wellbeing and of course my dating life. I just wanted to share my story so far with you all. Since I started trying to leave this addiction behind, I have had different streaks of being clean, ranging from 3 days to the one I am currently on of 550 days. I also want to say I have had quite a few embarrassing experiences that really made me want to fix this, I suffered big time with PIED and low libido. It has been TOUGH, but my god it's worth it.

Things of note that helped me:
  • keep busy in whatever way you can, this really helps to reduce urges
  • try to explore connections in your dating life (if the opportunity presents and you are ready)
  • 90 days clean was the required time for me to being able to intimate
  • MO and looking at tempting pictures is quite detrimental, but not as bad as PMO
  • being intimate with a partner you trust are attracted to is SO much better than anything you can watch on a screen
  • sometimes it's best to be honest with people you trust
  • try and figure out what your triggers are and try and create healthy coping mechanisms - personally mine were feeling lonely and dejected, spending too much time on social media and being hungover
  • I read it takes 21 days to build a habit, I tried to start with this and build on this foundation
  • I remember seeing pictures that I didn't intend too, such as a scene in a scene in a movie, I realised this isn't breaking your streak, but can be a trigger
  • the first 2 weeks were always the HARDEST, it's about winning the daily battle
  • it's easier said then done but when you have a connection / partner, the days fly by
  • keeping a record of the days really helped me, I tried not to focus on this too much but it's a great measure of your journey - I kept my lower streaks on there and noted how I felt after (suicidal) to try and ensure I wouldn't fall back into that trap
  • figure out what works for YOU - I read a lot of information on here and tried to pick and choose what would work for me
  • you will learn so much on the recovery journey about do's and dont's - try to record any tips, like a self-help journal
The one thing that sticks with me, is this addiction is gonna be with me for life. I've spent a lot of time accepting that and understanding how to cope with what I have developed. I've experienced heartbreak, many ups and downs, if there one thing I've learnt is this makes you one resilient bastard. My future goals are to keep going with the streak and hope this presents me with the opportunity to meet whoever fate decides !

I know that's probably a lot of reading lol, but I just wanted to share my experience. Stay strong people, there is hope for us all :)
Click to expand...

What an awesome share. You summarize the journey so well. Glad you found someone to help you along the way too!
 
Just wanted to give an update - now on 622 days !!

It has been very difficult can't lie. In the last month I have been on a two dates, but they haven't really been anything to shout about. First one I really liked the girl but she said it was a friends vibe, and I think the second one was basically the opposite, I didn't see it anymore than friends. Sometimes can be disheartening to be honest. I wanna be completely transparent with you all and share that even on the streak I am on you can SO easily fall back into bad habits, due to loneliness and rejection. I have not been staying disciplined, looking at Insta Reels of girls and shit like that, not P per say, but dangerous territory.

My goals for the rest of the year are to keep building the streak and excited to explore whatever comes my way. Will check back in towards the end of the year. In my personal opinion this time period, the winter is always the most difficult time for some reason. Really need to kick on and build good habits.

Whoever is reading this, stay strong brothers and sisters, may your battle against this devilish addiction be successful.
 
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