6 Months At NoFap!

Perhaps I don't have the right to call mine a "success story" since I have, at the moment, two days since I masturbated in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago to TRY and induce sleep. I almost didn't remember - but then - oh, yea.

But! I've been here since March, I got 90 days together during my first go-round, and try, try again.

And in the past 6 months, I've masturbated I would say 7 times. It used to be 2-3 times a day for years and years, and trying, trying, trying to stop for even a couple of days, and failiing.

THAT is a success story. I got my life back even though I have fallen, and after each fall, a lesson. I see how you can go down the rabbit hole of "I'll just check this website for a second" like a person with a binge-drinking problem says "I'll just have a SINGLE SHOT" or "I'll just stop by the bar and see if Alex or Tom or Juanita are there. I won't drink." Ha!

The success comes from even knowing this place exists, and using it to restore a semblance of sexual health after a lifetime of chasing a fetish first, the human being second, being led by my dick instead of my heart and brain, and that dick not working properly because the poor guy was getting yanked 2-3 times a day for years and years.

What I see happening with NoFap is that have a set of tools to use BEFORE one gets lost in looking at women on the net, and jerking off when I DON'T EVEN HAVE AN ERECTION. That is a truly joyless experience, a pointless exercise, and I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN 6 MONTHS, yay me!

I am also telling others about NoFap - all women so far. It goes over their heads, but that's ok. "Over their heads" meaning "I talk and their face shows either incomprehension or complete disinterest."

But any straight man who is married and addicted to this has a wife who suffers from it.

She suffers because it is a form of cheating, diluting the emotional and physical intimacy marriage is supposed to be about. In my case, she suffers because they are trying to have sex and even with the pills, the banana is rotten.

It is a lonely time - join the club, right?

I press on, though. Loneliness won't kill me. Neither will not having sex.