6 months free from PMO!

In an episode of Elementary, Sherlock (a recovering addict in this adaptation) observes that a token of one’s progress is not only for that individual recovering addict, but for all other recovering addicts also. It is a symbol of what is possible, and I wish to present myself as evidence that 6 months (and counting) is possible. Just remember that it has taken me 30+ years and a lot of pain and suffering to get here - I'm not trying to claim this is easy.

For a while now every day has been a new record as my previous best streak was something like 100 days, but 6 months feels like a significant milestone. To be honest, part of the trick for me has been to not make it about the numbers, and I hid my day counter partly for that reason. But I believe that a new milestone is not only for me but an encouragement for others. It IS possible, my friends. I have decided to add my counter back to my signature for the same reason – to show other members what is possible.

To be honest, day counters and software blockers and multiple disciplines designed to prevent me from giving in didn’t really help, not on their own anyway. They never changed the fact that deep down I didn’t want to do them. Yes, they are good for rewiring the brain and can make resistance easier, and I encourage you to keep doing these things if you do them. But deep down, before this streak I didn’t really want to be rewired. Whether or not I was ‘wired’ to PMO, I still had holes in my life that I thought PMO could fix. I was wrong… PMO only made them bigger.

It seems to me that people on this forum who I follow and have achieved streaks similar to or better than mine, or achieve similar with only occasional relapses, have gone deeper than these disciplines and really examined the heart. It sounds wishy-washy, but it’s what I see in my own personal experience. They have examined why they PMO, why they feel the need to, and/or come to understand how futile and counter-productive it is. I am not just talking about that feeling of frustration after a failure that immediately leads to a resolve to never PMO again, because more often or not these are just reactions post-orgasm and don’t persist into our weaker moments which inevitably come around again. The successful NoFappers I know have learned to recognise the futility and harm of it at all times.

Why do you PMO? What happened as you grew up that shaped what you are into sexually? What does this tell you was missing from your life, that you sought to replace with PMO?

Key to my success so far have been:

• An all-powerful God who is transforming me to be more like His Son each and every day, and the prayers of His followers.
• The input of many who have followed my story in my journal and left comments. I think you know who you all are, so thank you. Especially those of you who like me struggle with fetishism.
• Recognising that before this streak, deep down I didn’t really want to give up PMO. I recognised that the problem was in the heart and I recognised this to an extent I simply cannot put into words.
• Recognising the true futility in PMO, that it simply does not reward. Addiction is caused by our brains’ reward systems malfunctioning through overuse, so learning to see there is no true reward is crucial to overcoming the addiction – I recommend you google the ‘SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION method’ for quitting PMO on this. The book did wonders for me on this point. I finished the book and just didn't want to PMO anymore.
  
• Understanding the needs that I seek to fulfil through PMO and understanding how God in fact fulfils those needs. On this point I recommend this article, and the book ‘Unwanted’ by the same author, Jay Springer.
• Recognising that P is just a word, and really Lust is the problem – it is LMO we need to quit. There is no such thing as a P-sub. Using a P-sub is just a way of admitting we ‘need’ P, and is just something else for us to get addicted to.
• Assuming I could fail at any time.

Please read my journal to better understand my success… and all of my failures before that!