6 Months NO PMO - Not happy

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by MJM1999, Mar 12, 2020.

  1. MJM1999

    MJM1999 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,

    I have just managed to hit the 6 month no PMO. I thought this day would be such an achievement however I still feel no fulfilment in joy or happiness. Don't get me wrong I still have those good moments but currently I just feel empty for the most part.

    The benefits I have received so far,

    severely reduced anxiety, I can now speak in front of crowds without my face blowing up bright red.

    I longer get this urge of anger and annoyance when speaking to my family, now it is much better and I can socialise with them normally.

    Other than that tho I still feel like the same old me, which is rather dissappointing because I feel like a super boring person even though when I was a kid I didn't use to be like this, I was so happy and was known as somewhat of a popular person but now I feel like I have lost that "alpha" in me.

    My story begins when I was around 11 years old, literally remember seeing a video on youtube of a model and that got me hooked. Over the next 9 years I developed a porn addiction which then led me grow quite erotic fetishes. To this point of PMO these fetishes have still not gone and I don't look at women in full attraction. All my friends are so happy with the women they see in clubs etc, and it doesn't even bother me to be honest. I feel this is wrong and perhaps my reboot time is going to take significantly longer I'm just not sure. I would love to hear if anyone else has been in a similar position.

    I watched porn three times a day for probably around 7 years, (i'm now 20) so that I started around age 12. This is the same time I joined high school and literally turned into this super beta male, I had lost all of my friends and have pretty much been unhappy since. I had one relationship when I was eighteen but that only lasted 9 months, and I still love her to this day however I thought perhaps it was porn for the reason we weren't fully connecting. Anyway, 18 months later I haven't been with a single girl since and I'm in my prime for god sake. I want to be that guy who brings a girl back from the club but for one it just isn't in me and two I just don't have the attraction to most of the girls.

    I'm really hoping my brain just isn't fully rewired and that I need more than six months, I want to be happy and outgoing once again so that I can maybe reconnect with my ex or even find someone new. If anyone has been through something similar I would love to know, however I'm 20 so I would typically need something in the same age group and as I said before I wanked off to some pretty messed up stuff.
     
    Tarif789, theFounder and Kanat like this.
  2. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on that milestone, that's a huge thing! The benefits of less anxiety and better communication are priceless, I've experienced these things go up and down when I get a good streak going, definitely worth holding onto those things alone.

    Regarding other benefits, or a lack thereof, I wonder what things specifically you've identified needed change in your life?

    For me, I had to sit down and write it out a few times over the last few years...

    Turned out I needed:
    - to be more social
    - to be healthier
    - to have milestones to look forward to
    - and to enjoy the present

    These goals needed actions, namely:
    - going out and making the effort to socialise, despite not wanting to!
    - getting weekly exercise and researching what food might be better and making it
    - planning my next 5 years relative to what's possible
    - and just trying to be content with what I do have, appreciate the present moments - good and bad

    I hope I'm not off the mark here - but what can be common among this community is an expectation that simply putting porn and masturbation on pause for a certain amount of time will make everything better. It won't.

    It's like removing the training wheels. You now have the potential to become much better, but it's going to take some extra effort and involve trying new things that might fail a few times before they work.

    You seem focused on social goals, I would imagine joining some clubs/classes, or perhaps practicing approaching women would be some things that could launch you into the next phase and give you a chance to grow even more.
     
  3. ayanaambe115

    ayanaambe115 Fapstronaut

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    6 months is wonderful. Keep truckin bro. You are left with small months to taste the fruit.
    I'm too 130 days fapstraunaut. I think we humans need immediate remedy which is very imcomparable with the time we took with fapping.
    Imagine We took 10 or more years to fapping, but we don't like to tolerate our brain 10 months to rewire itself. I think that is unfair time we allocate usually in wrong way.
    Keep truckin bro, nature is now ready with its gift of big bounty of flowers which ahead of you. I say to you Congratulations in advance
     
    Control it man and Zolo22 like this.
  4. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    Damn 6 months in Nofap is amazing, man! I am in day 90 and yet still feel like shit sometimes. Just like you, I am at my prime time and yet I have still been a single dude since the break-up of a 5-months relationship with a girl. Needless to say, I loved her with all my heart but letting her go was a good choice for both. Don't get me wrong, there are still moments where I am lying on my bed thinking about our old times and it is painful as hell. Maybe we have not fully recovered from our previous relationships. Even though I am desperate to do just like what you said, taking some girls home from a club, I just can't do it, and it sucks to see when you are this far in Nofap.
    But no matter what, just keep going man, I believe that PMO has wired our brain so hard that it takes longer than 90 days, 180 days to make ourselves normal again. Giving up means going back to the previous you, porn-addicted, maybe ruining another relationship bcause of it? I don't want to go back to my past me because he sucks and neither should you. The future has a lot of in store for you and you have so many potentials waiting to be discovered.

    When you reach this far, I assume you know the pattern of this 'sad feelings' and you are familiar with it enough to see that it is all emotion, unstable and temporary. You have time, youth, energy. Use them to achieve what you want. Maybe you can achieve picking up girls but you have not tried it yet? Idk, work on what you are missing. Hope you have the clarity to make the best choice! Good luck!
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  5. It's amazing bro 06 months is very good time. I completed 100 days then relapsed due to edging now I'm restart it but same thing I want to know after rewiring will i be able to enjoy sexual moment with my partner ? When i need to sexual thought for enjoy on bed will it be there ? It's rewiring from porn and masterbation or sexual thoughts also ?Please clear rewiring thing
     
  6. Paf-On

    Paf-On Fapstronaut

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    6 Months is awesome. You should proud of it. Keep your awarness, when you achive your milestone it shoud make you more stronger than before.
    Make it a life style Bro... Not just 30, 90, 100 or 1000 days. But keep it until the rest of your life
     
    Shadow™輝ツ likes this.
  7. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Hey buddy, well done on your 6 months. You are not alone, i am still going through similar struggles at 7+ months pmo free. Hang in there and dont lose hope
     
  8. Congrats bro !
    I know what you mean, I notice benefits, but I believe it's so good to also work on other life areas at the same time. Becoming a better person, having a healthy mindset, doing new & interesting things, leaving fears behind n such. I am going to improve my life, while also trying to enjoy & be in the moment. NoFap has given me some good momentum, now I also have to use that momentum for other areas. Best of wishes man
     
  9. Tommygamble

    Tommygamble Fapstronaut

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    You’re experiencing PAWS my bro
     
    parad0x likes this.
  10. takingthejourney

    takingthejourney Fapstronaut

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    Good job so far i sleep with a lot of women from clubs and do a lot of cold approaching. You can do it to, just go to a bar/club with good logistics in your area ex: walking distance, 15/20 mins via car or uber. Talk to every girl you think that looks good, stop worrying about whos watching nobody really cares. Get there numbers, flirt, most chicks that end up having sex with you from a bar you can sleep with same night. If not you should be able to do it a few days later. Be a gentlemen respect her, have fun even if you get no numbers or girls play games every dog has its day. If you can't sleep with them same night text next day and set up a meet up.

    Get her on the phone, build sexual tension and meet up at your place/hers or for drinks and have sex with her. This is the formula your going to get a lot of rejections, a lot of flakes, most girls won't text back or will stop texting but its a numbers game. Might score first night, might take a few months if you keep doing it you will reach success, get better and become an natural. Up to you if you want to make them your girlfriend after sex but don't rush it. You can even cold approach in grocery stores, gym etc. Good luck.
     
  11. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    That is amazing, man. I want to be like you but cold approaching still scares the shit out of me. I know I am confident enough to maintain conversations plus having a quite good look but damn my head just fills with BS try to devalue myself so I don't have to approach any girl and it is driving me crazy. Seeing a beautiful girl but knowing that you will never gonna get her is really sucky and giving me all the derepssive shits right here.
     

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