6 WKS no PMO

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by LifeWorthLiving!!!, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. Did you relapsed along with masterbation? How you fell in this trap even after so long time?...I just want to hat's off you...you are like an inspiration.... I just want to know.. That's it.
     
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  2. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Great post! It is interesting. I think 'permanent' changes re pmo are years in the making. The level of vigilance needed in, say, the first 5 years no pm or pmo is incredible. The body and mind on NoFap is also constantly changing I think - so the strategy needs to adapt with this ongoing change. The mind of a 1 year fapstronaut is different to a 1 month fapstronaut, what about a 10 year fapstronaut? The challenges are still there: They just present themselves differently?

    I am loving this journey though. Right now I feel free as a bird*. It is wonderful. I know though I am a newb.

    My plan re NoFap is to take annual or 6 monthly breaks of 1-2 months. This will hopefully keep my enthusiasm for NoFap fresh throughout my anticipated 5 year recovery programme. After that, who knows?

    Year 1 chalked up next week, then into year 2...

    ...to boldly go...

    (*Yes, I am a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan)
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2019
  3. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    I managed to quit entirely watching porn videos 4 months ago but I really cannot abstain from watching nude pictures, which I think it's soft porn... and I masturbate once in a 3 days or so...

    I am so sorry I could not find websites like nofap earlier although I desperately wanted to. Everyone on the internet said that porn and especially masturbation is healthy.
    People live in deep ignorance unfortunately including many psychologists.
     
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  4. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    But you have found it now, so that is the important thing?

    P.s. Totally agree re society attitude to pm. The reason is simple, when 95%+ of men are Ming they will never admit they are wrong. History tells us though, over and over, the majority view is very often wrong.
    P.p.s. There is still a lot of dogma in science.
     
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  5. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Yes, and I am very grateful. If I was rich I would donate lots of money to websites like nofap. They are the shining light in a dark world.
     
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  6. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @Mr. Tumnus - thanks for the response
    A long term outlook is necessary here, for everyone - and the key ingredient needed is hope, in order to sustain a life free if addiction.

    I would say this - if we "take a break" from nofap in order to keep it fresh, then we are going to be slaves to it for life.

    What keeps recovery fresh is a focus on developing a new life.

    We can look at a life without porn and masturbation in 2 ways:

    1. I will keep this porn and masturbation out of my life through resistance.

    or

    2. I will renew my life and develop my life in such a new way that porn and masturbation is seen for what it is - an undesirable option .

    When you are locked into PMO, you lose so much - life becomes empty. When you quit, you see all of these areas that are lacking. At this point, your brain wants to fill the emptiness with the addiction. It does not want to change.

    The limbic brain needs to be shown a new path. We need to blaze new trails in the brain. To fill out areas that are lacking and focus on building a new life rather than simply resisting old stale addictive actions.

    Those that succeed are more focused on building a new life rather than resisting the urge to look at images on a screen.

    PEACE
     
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  7. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @pornlessgeneral
    Thanks for the response.

    It's been my experience that keeping an element of porn in my life keeps me a slave. I had 13 months free of this garbage and fell because I lost focus. I went from June of 2017 to July of this year in the very pattern you describe. Looking at "lighter porn" - ( lighter garbage) and falling every 3 to 5 days.

    Now at 50 days free, I realize that my mistake. I would not focus on building a new life - I was only focused in resisting the addictive action.

    Also you mentioned that you "cannot abstain" from looking at images. What you say, what you write, locks in belief. One of the greatest tools that we have in recovery is the executive brain. This is where concepts and truths are built. It is the control room. I have a few go to phrasea that have changed my life:

    "Porn is not an option."

    "Not going there...not gonna happen "

    "I don't look at porn".

    These phrase, repeated with emotion behind them, created in the executive brain, are part of what is needed when the limbic brain goes on auto pilot for the latest pleasure. The limbic brain volunteers an idea for pleasure when my mood is down. This part of my brain does not have a conscience, it is merely looking to boost my mood. It needs to be shown a new option, a new plan for life - an exciting plan where life is full of great things. When I use the previous phrases and then have a plan to address the stress that I am experiencing, the urge goes away.

    Living a life where you slip every 3 days is not what we are made for as human beings. I speak from experience.

    PEACE
     
  8. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    When I relapsed, I did it because I lost focus on the big picture. I stopped trying to build a new life.

    I also grew prideful, thought that I was over it and no longer needed a recovery community. Saw myself as some sort of guru. Pride before the fall.

    Stay humble.

    Stay connected.

    Stay hopeful.

    Stay teachable.

    Never stop building a new life.

    PEACE
     
  9. Thanks a lot...I appropriate your insight.
     
  10. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree with all this, is about recovery not just going through the motions.

    Re taking a break: just meant a break from this forum. I have noticed some people are doing great while posting here a lot and benefitting from the community, then leave the forum due to getting fed up with it, then relapse. My plan is to take breaks from the forum for discreet periods to keep my interest in posting here fresh. I lost interest in Dec, so took a break for two months then came back. Whereas maybe at least for say 5 years if we leave her indefinitely chance of relapse may go up?

    Totally agree though re complete life change: this is my ultimate goal. I want to get to the stage where just thinking about P makes me ill.
     
  11. Zchar438

    Zchar438 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for the advice that you shared with us. I think that a lot of us think that we just have to complete 90 day challenge and then all of a sudden we are immune to porn. It is good to have high aspirations and think positive but at the same time we have to realize that if we loose track of ourselves and what our ultimate goals are, we can easily go back to old nasty habits. Thank you once again for your humbling advice.
     
  12. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, the best way to think is:
    "I am done with PM for life. Period."

    What if you then relapse?
    Well you start again. And again. And again. Until you stay clean for good.
    It is that simple. There are no excuses for pmo.
     
  13. WolfHound 獣

    WolfHound 獣 Fapstronaut

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    Just to let you and all of the guys posting here that this is gold thread. Even though asking from others and failing for yourself can have positive effect somehow I got the point clearly. Thank you.
     
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  14. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    I think that one of the biggest insights that I have received is that

    RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE

    I used to think that it was impossible and that people who did were in constant battle, that they would never find peace without PMO.

    Reading NoFap success stories helped me to realize that you can love a life free of all this. Just seeing a community where so many want it and have achieved it helps. A lot.

    I spend most of my time reading success stories. They boost up the reality of freedom.

    PEACE
     
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  15. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Agree 101%. Well said, sir.
     
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  16. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the comment.

    It truly amazes me when I realize how things that seem to be disasters can be transformed into a new way to help others. Mistakes are there to learn from, not for self condemnation.

    PEACE
     
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  17. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Will hit 8 weeks today at 3pm.

    Major reduction on social anxiety. Evident over the past week.

    More in control of emotions. Handling situations where I get frustrated in a new way.

    Overall- progress.

    PEACE
     
  18. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Awesome. Your are making it happen. That's what counts.
     
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  19. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Speaking if awesome- you are about to hit a year no PMO. CONGRATS!
     
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  20. Bogo Biggins

    Bogo Biggins Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. Yes, now less than 24 hrs away.
     
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