10 year's freedom from pmo - my Catholic method

Hi all,

I've been 6 years free from pmo after I'd been enslaved for 33 years. To effectively get rid of the addiction I used and I' ve been using only faith methods including Sacraments. It's very effective. So there is hope. But the base is metanoia - repentance.

 

Hi Swazzy,

You know the problem is that God wants your metanoia ( your change) and only you can do this but only with God's grace. Without this my and other's prayers won't work. If you want I could write you point by point what to do and you will definitely be set free by Jesus. The way or method is not hard and really effective. Imagine, I was enslaved for 33 years and quit this addiction relatively with little effort because it was God's power and healing. Say, how many years have you been addicted and in brief how are you struggeling to get rid of it?

 

You're completely right, but think the case over. St. Monica prayed for his son for 20 years and we know that saints pray a lot every day.

Do you think that you'll find somebody who will be praying for you every day for 20 years? And think about the Babilonian enslavement of the Jews which we know about from the Old Testament. During the siege of Jerusalem by Babilonian army a prophet asked God what they (the Jews) should do to avoid the disaster. Whether they should pray more? And God answered that He wouldn't listen to their prayers until they changed their life ( stopped breaking God's Commandements).
Prayer works only if the man does something that God says, when the man honestly tries to be obiedent to God in their deeds and mind.

 

Fr Georg is a very wise priest because what he advised you then is almost my method.
My method is a combination of prayer, Sacraments, reading and praying with the Bible and trying to do what God's Word and the church demands.

Because the cause of the addiction are our feelings and enslavement to evil spirits we must start praying every time when a bad feeling (fear, depression, sadness, anger ...etc) comes and every time when the temptation to watch p. or masturb. comes or every time when dirty thoughts come. The Jesus prayer is very effective - I often repeate - Jesus or Jesus rescue me , Jesus what should I do now ...etc. when I'm in a bad feeling or when I'm tempted to do pmo. Each prayer is good but during it we must struggle to keep our mind, thoughts in the presence of God. This presence of God heals us and weakens our desires (for pmo including).

But beside prayer we must have a strong resolution to be obiedent to God. So our way out must start from confession. When we are in the state of grave sins (without grace) then we won't even have the wish or power to pray.

The next are temporary promises to God. the promises that we won't start watching nude scenes, movies or even pictures. not even pictures or video clips with girls in bikini or model shows etc. and promises that we won't masturbate. But the promises must be only temporary for limited time. I started with my first temporary promise which lasted half an hour. After I kept that promise I was free to do pmo or not. And I must admit that when I completed successfully a promise I mostly acted out (did pmo) but I knew that the next time I can have a promise for longer time. After the first succefully completed promise I promised not to watch sexual things and not to masturbate for an hour then (After I succefully completed the previous one) ... for 3 hours ... then for 12 hours ... then for 2 days ... then for 4 days ... then for 1 week ... then for 10 days ... then for 3 weeks ... then for 1 month ... and so on ... now my current promise is for 10 years (3 years already passed so it's 7 left).

When we promise we must be very cautious because we mustn't offend God by breaking the promise. (I acted out only when I finished my promise). That's why the promise must be temporary for a limited time (and we can prolong the time when we feel that it's possible for us and realistic to keep the actual promise). And we must pray each day for keeping the promise and often thank God that He gave us power to keep it. Without prayer for keeping the promise it's rather impossible to keep it. All is God's grace.

The next point is often reading the Bible ( I do it every day) but not only reading we should pray with the Bible.

The Mass is very important but we must be ,,wholely present in the holy mass'' and take Communion.

Adoration of the Holy Sacrament (personal prayer before Eucharist ) is very powerful because during such an adoration I feel being healed from my bad feelings, desires, thoughts and temptations. It's an atomic bomb against the addiction.

The next is to find a small group of believers who meet regularly for prayers, religious formation, religious discussions etc. maybe it's possible in your parish. In my I have many opportunities and I am in such a group.

That's my way. If you try it I can promise you success because the way is based on God every day and He always wins.

 

Icek,
My approach I described in the above post for Swazzy - that description is for you too.

 

If you prayed every time the temptation or bad feelings come and if you promised to God that you will pray every time the temptation comes and if you promised to God that you won't pmo for a limited fixed time ( for example for the next 6 hours when you are in the urge or hesitation) and if you decided that during the time when you have a limited time promise you' ll do anything to avoid pmo ( no watching nude scenes or even bikini pictures and when in strong temptation which endangers your promise - going out or doing sport or meeting with friends or going to somebody to help them etc..). If you went to confession every time when in grave sin....................... then you wouldn't come back to your old life. I assume you are inconsistent and such limited time promises can make you very consistent.

I think what you lack are such promises , always combined with prayer - they strengthen the will and give no way to come back to the old life , of course as long as they are kept.

 

I'll agree to pray for you even every day but there is only one condition - if you decide doing exactly what I described ( the promises + prayer every time when in urge, temptation or really bad feeling + going every time to confession when in grave sin + praying every day even if no temptation + reading with prayer the Bible every day ).
What you have done untill now must have some weakness because as you describe you fall to your old life from time to time. So it's time to say good bye to your way and try something new. Though your way is similar to mine but I see from your description that your way lacks some important points.

But the choice is yours.

 

If promise were not good than tell me what did husband or wife - didn't they promised before God nothing to each other? Or what do the priests or nuns? Did they promise nothing to God? Or what you do during confession at the end of saying your sins? Don't you promise to God some work on yourself. In my country after we confess we say to the priest in the presence of God - ,, I can't remember more sins, I regret all of them and I PROMISE betterment,, I assume you are a Catholic - don't you say similar words during confession?
The passage from the Bible is not about promises or vows . The Protestants say so but you are a Catholic I assume.

 

The passage of the New Testament you quoted, is not about promises or vows. Look at this - Acts 21,22 - 24 ,, 22 What shall we do? They will certainly hear that you have come, 23 so do what we tell you. There are four men with us who have made a vow. 24 Take these men, join in their purification rites and pay their expenses, so that they can have their heads shaved.''

 

It depends what translation of the Bible you've got at home, because Protestant translation of the verse Mathew 5, 33-34 is missleading - Protestants translate it so - ,, Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all'' ( New International Version (NIV) but the real words in Greek in the passage sound so: Mathew 5, 33-34 - ,, You shall not make false vows, but shall fullfil to the Lord the vows you have made..... ''

The original Greek word ἐπιορκέω used in the passage means: to swear falsely, forswear oneself , to commit perjury (the offence of wilfully telling an untruth or making a misrepresentation under oath.)

Now, take your Bible and your mother's Bible and look at the verse Mathew 5, 33 - If there is written there ,, Do not break your oath ... '' than it's not the Catholic translation. Catholic translation must have here ,, not make false vows ,,

We musn't make vows or promises to God when we feel that we are too weak to fulfil them. That's why it's a big mistake to promise to God that you will never watch porn or masturbate because for addicts it's rather impossible to fulfill such a promise or vow. We mustn't make promises which last for too long for us addicts. That's why I wrote about promises that last half an hour , then an hour, then 3 hours, then 12 hours , then 1 day, then 2 days, then 4 days, then 8 days, then 2 weeks, then 3 weeks or one month ... etc. You can make a promise longer only then when you fulfilled your last promise and when you are convinced that it's possible for you to keep the next longer one.

Now, I noticed that in the verse you quoted in your post , there is the right translation ,,You shall not swear falsely...'' so you see that Jesus forbade here to swear falsely (in the court because the eight Commandement concerns this - Exodus 20:16-17 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.) but he didn't forbid to make promises or vows to God.

 

It's extremely difficult for addicts to remain clean for lifetime. I would say it would be a miracle ( I do believe in miracles) the same like healing a cancer patient after a prayer. That's why it's more practical to use small steps which in time can be longer and longer. Think over ,, the promise method'' next time you'll give up because it can be a remedy for you.
I fought this addiction unsuccessfully for 33 years and know many unsuccessful ways because I was on them and lost my time only. Without promises I regularly came back to my old addicted life. The breakthrough began when I started using promises. I was on your path for 15 years and besides longer sober periods ( some weeks, sometimes a month, two times almost 3 months) I always came back to my vomits because what lacked me was constant determination of my will independent of my feelings, bad life experiences, depression etc. And this determination can give you either a miracle or promises.... That's my personal experience. Do you want to fight your addiction the next 15, 20 , 30 years or lifelong? Then continue what you have done untill now. The choice is yours. Next time when you give up you' ll remember my words and you'll be feeling what was the cause of your fall - lack of determination of your will. Why I know this - from hundreds of addicts stories from around the world. I had been a member of addicts forum ,, feedtherightwolf,, for almost 10 years and read such stories countless times. My forum was shut down a few weeks ago. That's why became active here.