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6 years of nofap and I never reached 60+ days...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by The Stag, Oct 1, 2019.

  1. The Stag

    The Stag Fapstronaut

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    I’m curious what people’s thoughts will be on this:

    So I’m 26 years old, discovered P when I was about 15 at which point I pmo’d on average 1 or 2 times per day for probably 3 or 4 years before I started to notice the impact it was having on me. I noticed I was much less social and much more depressed for days to weeks after pmo’ing. Then I discovered nofap when I was about 20 and have been trying, with little success, to quit porn entirely for 6 years now. I will say that I have drastically cut down on usage, sometimes getting streaks of 30-50 days, but never exceeding 60.

    At this point in my life I’m not taking nofap super seriously because of doubts that have been sown in my mind from the mainstream science and also because im worried the damage i did to my brain is permanent so what’s the use in even trying to fix it. But I’m only pmo’ing maybe 5-8 times per month on average due to low sex drive/ depression. I honestly dont even enjoy pmo when i do it anymore, its just a bad habit.

    So my question is, will abstaining for 60+ days, or 90, or more make lasting changes in my brain and mood that I haven't yet discovered in these 6 years of attempted nofap? Have I simply not committed fully enough, and if I do, I will see dramatic results in my mental health as far as depression, social withdrawal, etc are concerned? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m hoping the answer will be yes, but I want to hear any evidence you have that backs that up.
     
    NamaClature14 likes this.
  2. SlightlyAboveAverage

    SlightlyAboveAverage Fapstronaut

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    What mainstream science implies that nofap doesn't work? Just wondering, human sexuality is a pretty poorly researched topic in my opinion. Modern psychology has only been around for like a 1/5th of the time as modern medicine as well, and most of it can't be directly observed which makes it that much harder to study. In my opinion, its healthy to be a little skeptical about mainstream science here and there, especially when it relates to these 2 topics.

    I can't really convince you if this is good for you or not man. All I know is that I used to be a daily pot smoker, did huge hits of MDMA every other month, blasted equally large amounts of meth on the odd occasion, all while being a multiple times per day PMO user. When I complained to my doctors about inability to concentrate, they prescribed me amphetamines and I started abusing those every week as well. Every word I type of this is true. I used to think the exact same thing, that my mind was permanently fucked up from my messed up lifestyle. To this day, no one in my life knows what was happening to me for the last few years, they just know that I was lonely and depressed. I slowly just started to fall out of everyone's minds.

    At Day 0, I used to not get boners AT ALL and be unable to sit in a chair for more than 30 minutes without becoming irritable. My forehead would start sweating profusely if I had to talk to someone for too long, and I couldn't look at anyone in the eye. Today I am still recovering, but I feel motivated to actually speak to people and have fun while doing it. I get morning wood every day, and every week it gets better. I'm taking a second language class and am actually able to follow it without the assistance of any medication, and I'm looking at getting back into university next year. This was just my experience, our journeys are going to have different but they'll both have difficult pitfalls.

    In answer to your question, the 60 vs 90 vs 120 day difference CAN mean something. From what I've read, a lot of the reward center changes occur during month 2 and beyond. And on that note, some of us just lose the genetic lottery and simply take longer to rewire than others. Considering what I've put myself through, I feel lucky to have what I have at Day 60. It really depends on what we replace fapping with though. If we are abstaining but don't leave the house to socialize, or change our lives for the better, we aren't rewiring. Our brains will feel like shit, and they will desperately want to make themselves feel better. And if we don't teach them anything new to gain pleasure from, all they will know is fapping. And then we will relapse, the old pathways are reactivated and we have to start over.

    Anyways if you're here posting, I believe this is something you want to genuinely want to do on some level. I can't say what will work for you, but committing to this has changed my life for the better. Either way, best of luck and hope you find something that works for you
     
    The Stag and NamaClature14 like this.
  3. Let me share a little of my experience I have been on NoFap for about 5 years now.
    You know you have heard just about all the pros and cons that you could possible hear at this point. You know what everyone else says: I gained this and this! Just do it!
    Or the opposite: I am so anxious, depressed, sad. I just watched porn again.
    You have heard it all if you’ve been here this long. So let’s cut straight to the chase and skip the whole debate on whether it’s going to give you all these great benefits or not.

    You are at a crossroads where you have to decide; am I ready to let this go?Because the truth is behind all the misery and depression you keep putting yourself through again and again, you are deeply attached to porn. It’s easy, it’s reliable, it’s isolated, it makes you feel good. It’s something that YOU get to control and there are no variables or rejections, they all say yes. And most of all the shame and secrecy of it is exciting. Even if you don’t fully know why something about the control and the shame add to the rush of it all. And with all those short- term low hanging fruits you know exactly what the negatives are and what they will turn into as you continue to age. You know exactly the kind of man you will become and you are here because you don’t want to become THAT guy.

    The real thing you need to ask yourself is “am I ready to be a new person?” Because porn my friend is just the symptom masking deeper character flaws and pain. It’s not for me to say what but when you see it in the right light it might change how you approach it. You use porn to cope. With what? Why? When and what are your triggers?
    Break this thing down like a math equation. devote yourself to. But most of all, say goodbye to not just porn, but to the old you. Have a funeral for your oldest and most poisonous fake friend porn, and right next to it bury that idea of who you once were. The thing that has destroyed both your willpower and magnetism your entire life.
    You don’t get to hold onto it if you want to become that person you envision in your mind. Life and the law of attraction does not work in half measures. Be definite! Be precise. Look at your habits and life as a whole, find what it is that keeps you going back. And then work. Work work work at it. Do not give yourself the option for anything less than your total and complete freedom.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 2, 2019
    The Stag likes this.

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