6 years without pmo

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Mr Eko, May 5, 2020.

  1. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    No, I don't. Maybe the reason is that sexual life associates in my mind with strong desires, dangerous pleasure , pleasure which has no connection with love, selfish pleasure ... my desires would be unsatisfied because all my connetions to sex reminds me of tens or hundreds of thousands ideally built young women .... I'm not able to mix sex life with love. Maybe it's aftermath of my decades long addiction.
    Besides of this I don't think that sex life has major meaning in life. I have many other aims in this and afterlife.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2020
  2. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Sex life may not have a major meaning in life, but it shouldn't be blocked from life either. In relationships it can connect and connecting to it physically is good for our health.
    I can understand that your experience has lead you to associate sexuality with P. However, this is a misconception. I associate it with the creation of life. This creative life energy is also helpful in realizing our dreams and gives us the drive to live our lives to the fullest. Yes, it can destroy too, but that's if we let our minds deform it to something it isn't. If we proceed with care, sexuality can enrich our lives both at a personal and an interpersonal level.
     
  3. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    The website you linked is from someone who apparently has had some issues with Kundalini practicing in the 1970s. I'm glad converting to Christianity has helped him.
    I don't share his either.. or.. ideas on God. For me the loving personal God is totally reconcilable with God as life energy manifesting itself in empty space. Therefore I see Yoga, meditation and praying as different paths to the same objective. But of course this is a matter of personal belief.
     
  4. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    As I said before, my attitude to sex life may be a consequence of 33 years of active addiction. It' s over 3 decades so it must have left some effects in my mind and probably body. I agree with you but I' m unable to change my mind. Only God could do that but honestly I even don' t ask Him for it. The reason is maybe my age. Being 50 you start have other aims in life. It's not the time to look for a woman, sex partner , too late to start a family etc. If I was in my teens, twenties, thirties or even in the begin of my fourties I would definitely try to change this situation but now it' s not necessary for me, almost unimportant.
     
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  5. Saurav04

    Saurav04 Fapstronaut

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    The question if god exists or not, I won't go in that topic. If you can recover from PMO and have healthy life with meaning, I think it's okay to say have given everything to god if it helps. If you say like "So you sold your soul?"
    I guess it's not a bad thing if a person is free from all fear and think he has given his soul to god. After death the god will take care of him. He is free of all fear and evil. I am well educated person who have been struggling from PMO. Now things are going fine. The society is going in really a wrong direction. I am sure religion is a strong factor if you follow correctly gives you right direction makes you humble. If it's this powerful that you left PMO then it's okay to believe god. Good work @Mr Eko
     
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  6. GodTrulySavesMe

    GodTrulySavesMe Fapstronaut

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  7. NVG94

    NVG94 Fapstronaut

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    I hope to gain my second life back very soon. Thanks for sharing MR EKO! :)
     
  8. Thanks for sharing your story with us Mr Eko, motivating to hear it is possible to stay clean even after 6 years, thanks to God! Maybe you have read Book of Job? Can inspire you, no matter your age.

    Saurav04, I sent that message for LoveIsAllWeNeed, not for Mr Eko. as LoveIsAllWeNeed spoke about spirit helpers. Exactly that is my worry, after death the spirit gang will take care of him, not in good way. You educated, that isgood! So then no need to feel ashamed too to speak about religon. I agree with that society going in wrong direction.

    I was sure you not share his views at the moment, but the same time wanted to share with you some sources, so you can make the decision, and choices with enough information about what you choose to do, or what you choose to avoid.
     
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  9. wrdd

    wrdd Fapstronaut
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  10. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    I combine reading and praying with the Bible. I must know words, intensions and what awaits from me the Person who gave me the second life and rescued me in the literally sense. I remember praying with the Bible (a Psalm) 7 years ago in the middle of the night while in horrible urges (being alone at home) and thinking just before prayer that there is no way out but to give in.
    But with the rest of disappearing faith I started to read the Psalm while praying with the words of David as if these were my own words and situation. The shock for me was that after 3-5 minutes of the prayer my urges disappeared altogether and I chose not to pmo being completely free at that moment with my decision. I fell asleep soon and slept all that night like a baby.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2020
  11. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

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    you dont think of having a wife someday in the future
     
  12. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for you inspiring words. I too found relief in the grace of God.

    Can you comment on the problems that PMO brought to you life? E.g. physical and mental issues, etc.
     
  13. Rux

    Rux Fapstronaut

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    don't be lying afterall god is watching
     
  14. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    It's hard to say which problems prior to pmo caused my pmo and which problems my pmo caused.
    I was raised in a destroyed family where my father was an alkoholic. So as a child I was afraid of many things, shy, nervous, ... The negative feelings needed to be reduced by something ... untill I found being 11 the ,,greatest '' medicine - pmo ( in those times there was't internet but some pictures of pretty girls could you find in magazines). I even didn't realise that pmo medicine occured some sort of poison and all my emotional problems deepened. I became very shy and afraid of people. I ceased to go out and lost my friends. Then I did' t absolve my secondary school - the marks were low and instead to better them , my addiction demanded from me more time and energy. I played truand once a week. Then I was unemployed and after got my first job I neglected my duties because of too much time and energy spent on pmo. The age of internet came and the opportunity to go to sleep at 3 or 4 am after long pmo sessions. So I was sleepy during the day and had little or no will to get ready to work so I always was a below average worker. I was afraid of women this resulting from pmo and from my lost childhood. But I met a girl during a pilgrimage and we married. Very soon I realised that sex life with my wife was of little attraction and I came back to pmo but had to hide it from my wife. We often argued - the addiction can't prepare you to marriage, it destroyes each relationship - first with my wife and with my children ( I didn't care for my children but rather used time when my wife went out with them - it was my pmo time, like every late evening till 1, or 2 and sometimes 3 am. My marriage became a chore for me. Only because we are members of church we didn't want to separate or divorce.

    When I got rid of pmo over 6 years ago I started to rebuild my life in many aspects although I must admit that the progress is low and demanding but my life becomes gradually better thank to grace which I get during prayer.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2020
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  15. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    My method is roughly in accordance with the below statement:

    Augustine, in Confessions, Book VI writes,

    "The plain truth is that I thought I should be impossibly miserable if I had to forego the embraces of a woman, and I did not think of your mercy as a healing medicine for that weakness because I had never tried it.I thought that continency was a matter of our own strength, and I knew that I had not the strength. For, in my utter foolishness, I did not know the word of your Scripture,that none can be continent, unless you give it."

    Since the terms used in the quote above of saint Augustinus are not commonly used nowadays, I prepared their explanation (according to www.dictionary.com ):

    continence - self-restraint or abstinence, especially in regard to sexual activity

    continent - exercising or characterized by restraint in relation to the desires or passions and especially to sexual desires

    So continence and continent can be seen as equivalents for abstaining from pmo or abstaining from sexual sins.
     
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