My last longest streak before this was 30 days and that was last year. It was also a time where I was full of hope. This time I was not feeling that great about anything at all. I just wanted to grab hold of my life and steer it in the right direction. In the last 60 days I lost 10 pounds, am able to do 60 push ups (actually I hit 170 but strained a muscle had to stop for a few weeks and now doing a different form), and hit 32 minutes on the treadmill at a 10 degree incline. So after several years of being in a rut, my mental and physical health are back on track and I have no inclination or wish to go back to the way things were! Around day 38 during a tough time I wrote: "Mark Queppet once commented on his own reboot something like: "getting through another day clean was all that I was doing at that point". So likewise I don't care if I don't feel good I just need to hold the line on the PMO detox and see what happens.... I am actually sensing I need to cough up a hairball of pain so I can move on.... either that or I need to work better at taking care of myself... my meditation prayer sessions have dwindled... as has my guitar playing..." Last week I wrote this: As I was driving home something cool happened: I was looking at the patterns of clouds in the sunset and it struck me that that was as beautiful as the beauty I was seeking with some imaginary woman, except that this sunset was here & now in this moment, and I was totally able to gaze at it, soaking it up appreciating it and loving it..... I realized I had just transmuted my desire of something I didn't have into something real and present! And: I had begun having fantasies of romantic conversations with this imaginary woman, and I suddenly had really enough of doing that. I picked up my guitar and started playing. And somehow I was able to pour out my unmet romantic desire into my music in some uncannily real way. It was amazing!