60 days mark behind, 90 days far, far away.

I passed through 60 days two days ago (first time ever) and a few not so likeable things are happening... (Triggers inside. Take care guys, but train yourself too. There will always be triggers in the world around and you will never win by trying to escape from them.)

On my current streak I was lowering "amount of nudity" very slowly. First +-20 days no videos of P, but naked girls were OK. Than only girls in bikini and so on and last +- 17 days, I am completely free of sexual content from internet (if I do not count my friends posting pictures on FB or Insta - which I am not using to masturbate, they are just there and I dont want to completely ban all posts on FB and Insta).

During all this process of lowering of sexual content to 0, I allowed to myself as many masturbation as I needed. This system works for me pretty reliably and since end of 2018, I crossed first time 55 days and now I am on 62 still continuing. My longest streak before was 44 days from the year 2014.

I got into the situation, that I am deeply craving the sexual content, but my body doesn´t want to masturbate. Not even a bit. To me a perfect sign of an addiction. Respectivelly - I figured out, that the hardest moment, when I was feeling miserable with myself and when I was opening the P was, when I didn´t feel socially accepted (rejected by girls, at work, feeling that the girls do not pay attention to me and other emotional bullshit ...). This video was a perfect pointer on that for me

I am also quite irritated in last 2 days. This turned on with the deep craving, when I didn´t cover this feeling as always before with masturbation (and months before also with P). Just needed to write it out, because my head is like I would have hang-over but at the same moment didn´t drink anything...

Hopefully somebody of you will find in this something helpful.