630 Days of No PMO

Friends, peace,

This is the 7th consecutive 90 day streak, & for this, I am grateful.

As usual, here are some links to add context to my journey:

My Journal
90 Days of No PMO Success Story
180 Days of No PMO Success Story
365 Days of No PMO Success Story
450 Days of No PMO Success Story
540 Days of No PMO Success Story

For new readers, forgive the jumbled mess that is soon to follow. I looked over my last 90 days of entries, & quite frankly, it was a busy time! As such, my own thoughts might reflect that busyness insofar as the writing might appear overly busy in content.

And so I begin:

I forgot a lot of the events that surrounded the past 90 days. To be sure, it was a unique stretch of time.

I finished March Comes in Like a Lion with @GrandPasNewMan . A shout-out to my brother-at-arms! This was long-coming, & it took a long time to plan & execute. It was refreshing & simple...& I still shamelessly recommend the series.



Anyway, the time was also marked by three funerals (a funeral every 30 days...). All of the departed were important in my life, & two of them passed away very, very early & unexpectedly (in the grand scheme of things). What a meditation...how is my life? Am I prepared to die?...What do I really value...do I value my limited time?...

My newish job has also been more demanding. It has been a source of stress as my tasks have increased. The job also granted me a new experience: I was able to travel for a company event, & I went to a tower in a big city. Never in my life would I have expected such a thing.

That said, again, work has been a new source of fatigue. The work requires so much of an intellectual exertion that I can be left without much motivation for my usual (intellectual) hobbies...let alone much else. This has left me discovering how to handle missing out on my routine habits. For example, I might miss a holy hour of prayer or a workout. Generally, this is crushing to me. Especially if I miss a chapel time, I will be bothered & ask myself, "Are my priorities really in check?"

I am still finding that balance. On the one hand: I do not want to make excuses! On the other hand: I do not want to be too exacting & strict!

Suffice to say, this 90 day period probably marked the most of these "misses" in routine with an increase of randomly falling asleep at home.

I did add running to my schedule, & this is a part of exploring masculinity. I write more about this in my journal, so I will not write more on this now. Suffice to say, growing up & having many SSA-related issues also affected how I viewed masculinity & how I acted. My journey has been a fairly successful attempt at exploring & reclaiming traditional understandings of masculinity...but at my own pace. It has been a good experience, & I feel more at ease with myself.

Speaking of SSA: This 90 day period marked the meeting of a fellow I called Party Guy, & at least two difficult encounters with another fellow I call Tall Guy. Both have caught my eye...but I suppose there is not much else to say. Granted, Tall Guy is mostly a random fellow. Party Guy is actually my acquaintance.

That besides, I have made new friends on this forum, & this has likewise been a delight.

There has also been a development in a relationship with a woman. Who knows? We might date.

Overall, though, my NoFap journey this time around has definitely been the cleanest so far. It has been generally peaceful & noticeably...boring.

In terms of actually serious temptations, they seemed to begin at Day 596--so this is 56 days after my last 90 day cycle. So that was at least 56 days of feeling remarkably clean!--& who knows? Given the tail-end of my last cycle, I might have actually felt this clean for nearly 90 days! What an improvement! Blessed be God!

The temptations did come to an end at Day 617 wherein I recollected myself & made an act of the will to move on (so about 21 Days of fluctuating difficulty--3 weeks!). I was tired of wearing myself out with self-inflicted temptations. It is ironic that it took wearing myself out in order to force myself to recommit. And once I recommitted to action, I was back on track. The only other serious difficulty seemed to appear at Day 629. It was a stand-alone occasion, & it was right before Day 630 (interestingly enough).

Take that as a lesson! The "Day 89" marker can still stop before Day 90!

Otherwise, there was at least one nocturnal emission (which I think actually played a part in forming a chaser that made the "three weeks of difficulty"). Also: loneliness was definitely a keyword in this round of journaling.

All in all, the time was mostly peaceful & ordinary. The temptations were still diminished. Overall, I would say, it was good. Do I strive for greater things? Yes. Am I glad for the present? Yes.

That is presently all that I can think of.

Please feel free to ask me questions.

Thanks,
God bless,
A Modern Miroku

 

@soldier407 & @sirloid : Thanks for the kind words, & thanks for stopping by. God bless.

 

I think that we are on the same page, but as usual, I say, "It depends what you mean."

People set their own goals.

Temptation can be defined in an indefensible way that would be contrarian to nature.

And discussing the nature of man is a big thing to do in passing! St. Augustine, for example, would argue that these sorts of temptations are only familiar to fallen man, which would imply that mankind's nature is not what it once was.

But this is neither here nor there. I just like to say that distinctions are important.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words & for stopping by.

God bless,
AMM

 

@hj331 & @MadeManifestByLight : You both are too kind. I am glad I can help in some capacity.

@Redemptionisrequired : Always a pleasure to see you, my friend.

@Mr. Monk : Quite glad for the reference! I totally am tempted to nickname the lady-in-question Sango or "A Modern Sango". Who knows what lies ahead? I sure do not.

All of you: godspeed, & God bless! Thank you for your support. It means a lot.

 

@Mr. Monk : Thanks for sharing! It is pure nostalgia!

And with modern media, the effect (with time-slots, commercials, themed broadcasts (Toonami, Adult Swim), &c.) will never be able to be fully reproduced.

It is one thing to watch an Anime on-demand via Netflix or some online streaming...it is another thing entirely to stay up/wake up at 4 or 5 am to see a show, all-the-while watching it at an absurdly low volume in order to avoid getting caught by the parents...alas! Now, a kid just needs a phone & some headphones. Not hard at all!

 

I do not remember IGPX off of the top of my head, but I do remember Yu Yu Hakusho. I was too young to recall watching the show as a series but more of a random sort of non-episodic entertainment. I randomly get tempted to watch it properly--especially because it does get referenced now & again.

But I relate!

 

@ChangingMyLife2 : I do not think that I did--somehow or another. For better & for worse, I was simply always aroused & ready...

That said, the height of my usage was when I was younger than the present. I would think that, biologically, it would be more difficult for a younger man to experience PIED.

I do grant that others get PIED--I just did not, as far as I can recall. I did get guilt, misery, & an addiction out of it, though!

But I am hoping that that is forever behind me now.