Ok starting today 7 day challenge..... Day 0/7 I am on day 2 of my personal streak that I am following and I have decided to complete 15 days streak currently I am at day 2/15. I found this thread so I thought I should join this.... eventually it's going to help me.
5/7 agitated tonight, (damn MW2 lol... and stress) leading to urges so I came on here, try and do more mindfulness again. 1 day at a time!
Been a busy couple of days, so i've not kept up with my daily visits to the forum. But hey, busy is good, and a hell of a lot better than being bored. Glad to say i've kept up the streak and i'm wrapping up day 2 and about to dive headlong into day 3. Not sure if many of you find the same issue, but I always find it difficult at the start of the week. Mondays and Tuesdays at work can be a nightmare, and it always seems like such a simple and easy way to decompress. With the deed done though, I almost immediately look back on it and feel utterly guiltridden and ashamed. It's downright sinister how it seems to have rewired my brain, so as to be able to overlook this after effect of shame and the guilt, as, for better or worse, I've always considered these to be incredibly powerful emotional triggers for memory. Though as past experience has shown they are comparatively diminutive next to the sheer pull of this addiction. I know I need to keep my guard up around this time of week, and by that I mean: to genuinely be mindful of the consequences of relapse. From experience, I know this is not a comfortable state of mind to be in on a continuous basis, but that's part of the trap that comes with not treating this like a genuine addiction. Beating addiction isn't easy, and there is no trick or simple way to circumvent the fact that eventually you have to accept it for what it is, and run the gauntlet on your way to recovery - hold tight to your convictions and persist in reminding yourself that this is the only true way is forward. I've ended up in this position so many times before, but i've now gotten to a point that life is moving on around me and I know that I need to commit to this change now or be left trapped in the same familiar cycle of pleasure with no pride. Roll on day 3, I'm finally ready now.
