70 days of Monk Mode/ Hard Mode Complete

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by BrainPlasticity, Feb 21, 2015.

  1. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    I've completed 70 days of Celibacy, No Sex, Porn, Masturbation, and Dating. I'd like to share what I've learnt during my journey :)

    I've failed in the 90 day celibacy challenge for over 3 years now. I could never make it past 7-15 days. But for the first time I made it till Day 72.

    Here are the benefits I noticed:

    - Hair fall reduced dramatically, possible regrowth (I had a mild symptom of MPB)
    - Confidence improved (there is more loudness and power in my voice. And I feel confident when meeting strangers)
    - Higher productivity (since I quite porn, and even dating, I noticed I had time to easily concentrate on other areas of my life)
    - Greater Discipline (discipline in one area increased discipline in other areas)

    Why I failed on Day 72:

    Relapse does not happen randomly. It's a chain reaction. Last few days I allowed my mind to freely fantasize. Which lead to me downloading a few dating apps, which led to me getting hooked on the apps, which led to tempting opportunities, which let to relapse.
    This is fine however, I know I've fixed my addiction. I'm not the chronic masturbator I used to be.
    This relapse was a good thing and it reminded me of some of the important rules for success. You must have heard that saying that "time will heal the pain", well that's because time tends to make you forget about the pain. When it comes to curing an addiction, if you don't follow the rules strictly and consistently, you'll eventually forget about them. In my case, I forgot about my rule of having no sexual fantasies, no dating, no screens after 10Pm etc. These rules were my precautionary measures. But I probably got too confident about my streak and chose to ignore those rules.

    Lessons you can learn from my journey:

    - Win the first 30 days so that you start to care more about maintaining your streak when temptation kicks in.
    - Stay busy "an empty mind is the devil's workshop". Have one or two additional goals to stay focused on, no more (too many goals will consume your willpower and increase the chances of relapse). Similarly schedule some fun activities each day.
    - Change/modify your cage to make it more interesting and supportive of your goals. (Check out these links, it will make you understand the true cause of addiction & relapse:http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6506936
    And http://youtu.be/3TX-Nu5wTS8 ). I failed mainly due to my present cage. I was able to easily tackle temptations whenever I went on vacations with my parents. Keep your space neat and organized. External environment has an impact on internal environment.
    - Set up mini reward systems. (I had a playlist called Reward songs, it contained songs which gave me goosebumps. I would only listen to 2 songs from this playlist whenever I completed a mini goal. When I complete 10 days of the celibacy challenge I'd listen to 2 songs just once.)
    - Setup and follow the precautionary rules.
    - Don't tell others about your goal and don't brag about how far you've come. Wait until you finish your goal to tell them. There has been some research done on that.
    - If you relapse, do not feel guilty. It will work against you. Be grateful, learn from it, and continue the journey immediately. If you indulge in that pleasure again after relapsing, you'll waste all that discipline you built up during the previous days and you'll have to start all over from the beginning.
    - Eat regularly at specific intervals to fuel your brain with glucose for long lasting willpower.
    - Sleep efficiently to fully recover your willpower for the next day. (There are a lot of tips I have to optimize your sleep).

    Hope you learnt something from this. I'm going to take on new challenges now! :)
     
  2. tom1199

    tom1199 Fapstronaut

    55
    0
    6
    Hi BrainPlasticity!
    Interesting reading, thank you for sharing. Doing 90 days hard mode here. Presently, going great.
     
  3. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    Hey tom1199, day 30 was such a big milestone for me. Keep fighting! I'll congratulate you once you've succeeded :)
     
  4. chris4nj

    chris4nj Fapstronaut

    377
    120
    43
    Thanks for your post and your tips - REALLY useful!
    I will clean up my workspace and others.
    I like the idea of something as a reward - a song, reading something, etc.
    And, I may have too many goals. I will bookmark your post as a reminder.
     
  5. PeetaMellark

    PeetaMellark Fapstronaut

    81
    39
    18
     
  6. xcdagz

    xcdagz Fapstronaut

    12
    3
    3
    Thankyou for linking the article about cages, really really informative. Now I realized building my environment by connecting with others would strengthen my recovery.thankyou really cause I was thinking of decreasing my bonds with others since I find less time alone etc but yeah bonds helped me get this far(15 was my previous best and now I'm looking to take it to the next level). My commends to you broooo.
     
  7. nofapjt

    nofapjt Fapstronaut

    23
    2
    3
    Now it's too late to even think of relapsing!! you made it to over 70 days. it would suck seeing your counter back to 0days. You can do it. thanks for the inspiring thread!!
     
  8. tom1199

    tom1199 Fapstronaut

    55
    0
    6
    Hi everybody in monk mode! ;-)

    40 days today! Feeling great!
     
  9. ForTheHair

    ForTheHair Fapstronaut

    29
    1
    8
    I also have a "mild symptom" of MPB. Do you think abstaining genuinely resulted in less hairloss (or even regrowth) or honestly more of a placebo?
     
  10. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    Hey chris4nj, you're welcome mate. Rewards are very important, You've passed 10 days It's a good time to give yourself a mini reward. I had forgotten to mention that there were different levels of rewards that I use. I use the Reward Songs for achieving mini goals such as 10 days complete, I had another playlist called Celebration Songs(my most favorite songs) which I would listen to when I achieve a milestone goal such as 30 days complete or 60 days complete. And when I actually complete the challenge, I'd purchase a useful gift for myself such as a new iphone. Sometimes it requires willpower to restrain myself from enjoying these rewards now lol. Carefully spend each day mate. I'm quite flattered that you've decided to bookmark this post :)
     
  11. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
     
  12. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    xcdagz, yes more alone time would be the worst thing to have when trying to reboot. Proactively make new bonds with people, new activities to make the cage better, similarly eliminate tempting things/people from your cage.
     
  13. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    nofapjt, unfortunately I did relapse (I mentioned that on the post), I'm starting over with a new challenge, one that also lets me engage in sex but only have an orgasm once a month. You've got an amazing streak going bro! You've shown greater strength than me, keep going. No P and No M should be for life: [video]www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Zzk4l4j4qo[/video]
     
  14. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    Awesome dude! stay away from dating as well if you want to reduce the risk of failing.
     
  15. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

    483
    543
    93
    I absolutely saw a correlation. When I was a chronic masturbator, lot of hair used to fall, but after 30 days of celibacy, the hairfall reduced and everytime I tried to mildly pull my hair the chances of me seeing my hair between my fingers became lesser and lesser. I used to keep taking pics of my scalp too, on around Day 70 I saw that symptoms of thinning had almost gone away. Even my mom noticed some regrowth on my hairline.
     
  16. Andreaw

    Andreaw Fapstronaut

    26
    115
    28
    Today there are 70 days without PMOs, how many trials, how many thoughts, how much strength it takes, some days go by quietly, others wake you up in hell, absurd impulses, thoughts of all kinds.
    Thoughts of wanting to masturbate, of porn, of betraying with anyone, homosexual thoughts, uncontrollable desires of sex with anyone and anything, uglier thoughts, stronger, you are so desperate that sometimes you think I would cut it off, and you also make the whole mental video with horrifying images, shivering brrrr.
    I think that to say that porn disease / porn addiction / sex is not at all less "serious" than alcoholism or drugs.
    You notice less, but the adverse effects on the brain are really similar, certainly the body does not self-destruct as in other cases but it suffers a lot anyway.
    My goal is less than 300 days away, exactly -295
     

Share This Page