70 days P/M Free

As of tomorrow, I will have achieved 70 days p/m free. (despite what my counter says) I cannot fully articulate the inordinate amount of freedom I am feeling, as compared to the former life of bondage I was living with porn addiction. At the risk of sounding cliche, truly, I am living a remarkably different and empowered life. It is a life that was almost impossible to imagine under the dark clouds of depression, and hazy vision created by porn viewing.

How is it that I am walking in freedom? As I have posted in my other threads, I am a big proponent of a strong recovery plan. And not just a proponent of one, but I really believe that unless you create and practice that plan, you are not going to go porn free. I have an 8 step plan which I discuss in detail in other threads on my page.

The longer I am porn free, the more I realize that freedom from pornography perhaps has no greater ally than to live a purpose driven life. The more I invest in growing my character, becoming a better man, and living a more intentioned life, the wider the gap between porn and I grow. Every single day I wake up and spend focused time in the morning investing in myself and growing to become a better human being. I do activities like reading, writing, positive affirmation, meditation, exercise, and the like. I have also written about this routine in detail in other threads.

I remember a time, in the not so distant past when I was enslaved to porn, and I had this feeling of incessant defeat. I constantly felt the pressure of shame and condemnation, like I was a habitual failure, and that I would never be free from the elusive tentacles of addiction. I was in a paralyzed state of fear, constantly looking over my shoulder in paranoia, and constantly focused on "avoiding" behavior that might lead to porn.

There is a saying; "What you behold, is what you become." I was constantly focused on porn abstinence, my bad habits, my failures, porn addiction study, etc." The problem is that I was constantly focused on porn, instead of being focused on freedom. I should have been focused on the successful life I was wanting, and the specific steps regarding how to get there.

That is where my focus is now, and I am successful as a result. Every single day I spend time focusing on success, the life I am working toward, how to get there, and then daily taking steps to move in that direction. I believe these are the keys to achieving a porn-free life.

There are too many people who focus too much on the "problem", and not nearly enough time toward the "solution", and they fail, time and time again. And will always fail until they make the change. They focus on what not to do. They focus on "distraction" based activities. ie; cold showers, various hobbies, staying away from their homes, or any other number of various "crutches" that only bandaid a wound, and never provide true healing of the heart. This behavior is inorganic, and if we are being honest with ourselves, assinine. You are restructuring your entire life around avoiding bad behavior, instead of restructuring your life around behavior that is going to prosper a successful existence. That is two polar opposite ways of living. One contains an inherent value that will garner success and the other toward failure.


You can be successful! Let's do this together!!

 

There are definitely times when it is a temptation. But it is not so familiar an urge as it once was. It reminds me more of a vague concept, as something one has experienced in their past but is no longer well acquainted with. Like a once fond friend who has long since departed.

 

You are welcome. And I would say that it has not or does not necessarily; "go away." But that as you choose to change and become a better and more charactered person, you do not view it, respond to it, or have the same emotional reactions to it that you did before.