70+ tips to Make Nofap or Porn Free easier & more effective from someone who has gone 1000+ days

67) Have Some Private Time for yourself(and dont tell anyone about it)

when i was reading journals of alcohol addicts, one of the obstacles they faced in sobriety was social gatherings. their social circle was revolved around alcohol so they became alone for a while in process of getting sober until they found new friends and situations to have social circle without alcohol.
in my opinion opposite of it can be true for Porn users . watching porn is not something that many feel proud of doing it but this makes it personal. viewer is not proud of watching porn but for some this is the only thing or one of rare things that they do for themselves, that they dont share with anyone else (specially now in social media era which in it, some even share each of their meals). thats something that i do regardless of societies approval.

but as social gatherings can happen without alcohol, private time and decisions can be without PMO or even sex.
just do something for yourself, some self caring act like going a new restaurant, hiking, etc (ALONE) and dont share it with anyone else. if somebody asked you about it. just tell them i was out or something not detailed. doing so stops it from being an act of seeking approval.

Dr glover in his book no more mr nice guy warns readers that these activities(self care) might be hard at first, the person may feel guilty for it but its important to go through.

Have some healthy alone fun time.
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68) Face Fear of commitment

Porn scenarios are full of cheating, the person who trusts is the fool, the looser and the hung who F**ks and leaves is the winner.
Women are all bitches, they have no morality that lasts more than 30 seconds an all they are looking for is gym body of a young man and a penis with girth of their arm which is always erect.

So what message view gets out of it ? never trust anyone and you would be the winner, never commit and you cant be hurt, you cheat first and then your fine.

and this obviously makes problems and i guess it can also escalate to other area's of life too.
the person may also dont commit himself to a job or a group of or individual friend(s) too.

Look i dont mean there aren't bitches in the world, i dont want to present real world as dream world. but there are also trustworthy people and of course there are people who get cheated on those who got cheated are not wasted.

unsure about it ? read journals of some sex addicts and these are blessed ones who finally got they had problems.

Now what to do ? after stopping intake of this message through porn you can just start to notice this fear inside of yourself, being mindful of it here and there helps to make tiny changes in your behavior and then thought pattern to healthier way of seeing world.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/peter-be...afraid-of-commitment-and-what-to-do-about-it/

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69) Do what you want with mini Habits.

mini habits is about setting goals that in direction you want like reading or exercising so easy that you would always do no matter what, like reading for just one minute.

why this helps with nofap? During recovery you may have hard time and seeing days just going by may put an extra pressure on you. by help of mini habits you can also start what you've been postponing for a long time. by doing mini habits you can train your brain to have consistency and also do more.
after reading for a minute you don't need to stop. mini habits says you must read for a minute but not just for a minute.
you can increase your reading time but dont increase you minimum time (1 minute) because life and recovery aren't linear.
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70) write down your guilty emotions

There are certain emotions that we do not want to confront even to ourselves that we do have them, even to ourselves.

Confronting and wrting them down can be eye opening and calming.
They might be different for different people but jealousy and envy and maybe anger might be in your list, writing down that your jealous of someone’s achievements or angry because of them having luck and you dont having is not shameful. We are not our thoughts and feelings and writing them down can help us to know ourselves better, know what we want and stay a good(ish) person (being goodish is better than being good, watch this :https://www.ted.com/talks/dolly_chu...eing_a_good_person_and_become_a_better_person)

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71)Watch this if you are facing Depression, anhedonia

part of being ashamed of depression is trying to fix everything wrong about oneself ASAP, as if there is something wrong about me as depressed person which is not wrong about others and i should cover my short coming as much as i can and find it and solve it.

 
72) Look for signs of codependency in yourself (check video even if you are reluctant).

i was watching a documentary about teens and drugs and alcohol and codependency was mentioned in there and it seems to be a huge problem because just googling codependency brings results including addiction. i found a video describing signs of codependency and suggestions for recovery by a Registered Clinical Counsellor (not just youtube BS).


and here is a playlist of other videos of her talking about codependency
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg74A24No22P37vpoE-5RsKxJKLjze6Nz
 
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whoami33 said:
35) your future self is not a jerk have some guilt free hobbies

Now that i look back in my PMO days, Porn was the only guilt free hobby that i had for that moment, not that porn was something productive to do but its intensity could wash the guilt away for a while. i was trapped in what should i do for my future 24 hr/day most of the days passed by just thinking but still i was under stress of future. now as a 24 i'm future of my 17 years old and i'm not a jerk toward what i've done then, actually i wish i had some more fun then i could do more in productive hours and had better memories of my past days.

now with porn removed i need some guilt free hobbies, time spent for having a good day is not the time wasted.

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Haven't read all of them yet. I will get around to it. But this one is my favorite. Also I appreciate the sort of person you are alot for making this thread. You make this forum, and this world a much better place.
 
73) Schedule your day (by Noah BE Church)

Schedule your day. Unscheduled free time is enemy to an addict. Each night, write out a plan for the following day. Try to include productive to-do items as well as healthy and relaxing activities like exercise, socializing, reading/learning, passion project time, etc. Read this first thing in the morning and follow it, checking off each item as you go.

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74) write down why you relapsed after relapsing
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after relapsing write down why you relapsed. our mind would probably lie to us that there are tons of reasons for a relapse to happen but it's a lie there probably are just a handful of reasons appearing in random order so we think there is an endless number of unknown reasons.

writing down your reason helps you to not fall for same reasons again and again and also helps you to find patterns that lead to relapse but happen way before the last stage maybe even right after previous relapse.
 
Hi @whoami33,

I miss number 75 ;).

I use the 5 second countdown rule to get over procrastination / indecisiveness and urges. The countdown rule distracts your brain from your feelings so you can make a better decision. Normally a decision that you promised yourself that you’d make. You simply become aware that you are procrastinating. You think about the task that you should actually be doing. Decide that you are going to countdown from 5 to 0 and then stand up and start executing the task at hand. It's like waiting for the gun to blow at the start of the 200 meter sprint at the olympics. Or comparable to the trick they use the moment you hesitate to jump while looking down before bungee jumping.

Procrastination, fear/anxiety or replacement behaviours for porn could lead us to be unsatisfied about the actions we take or don't take. For instance by looking at nofap journals for hours, edging, snoozing, binge watching netflix, indecisiveness to take on important tasks or get out of your comfort zone in social situations.

It looks to simple to work, but it actually does. Moreover, when you start to do it more often it becomes a ritual / habit.
 
Thanks, @whoami33 for these tips...
I relapsed today, I was feeling lonely these days, I wanted to talk to someone about my loneliness, and boredom.
I want to cry now, It has been three since I started nofap seriously, I don't think that I'm doing well, I don't know if I'm going to be free from PMO.
I was relapsing once per week, usually during weekends, after trying I succeeded in reaching two weeks without PMO, but this month I relapsed three times. I reached 45 days once before, that was my longest streak. Since then I couldn't surpass 20 days. I can't find the power to fight this addiction. I feel weak and depressed.
I want to be free, the urges are very strong.
Maybe I shouldn't write this here, but I wanted to let my sadness out. I feel very sad.
 
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